Also, teenage daughters have a low tolerance for affairs. Your wife should expect a rash of crap from them. Which she deserves because she is wrecking their family. We have even had teenage daughters throw the wayward mother out of the house!! Not smart to have an affair when you have teenage girls!! They are hell on wheels!

Have you seen these?

"I Encourage BHs to Confront OM" Dr Harley
"Don't Put up with OM" per Dr Harley

Thank you for the links to confronting other man. Yes I have been questioning my IC and the stuff he is advising me to do.

My WW said she is going to meet with a lawyer today. Still very mad about the exposure thing.

While he means well, most therapists have no experience or expertise in marriages and especially infidelity. The steps we are giving you are from Dr Bill Harley, a clinical psychologist who has specialized in infidelity for 40 years.

My WW and I getting are a getting a divorce. We have two DD 9 and 12. At the last MC session it was suggested we rent an apartment and we take turns as to who stays in it so the kids will get use to the set up.

Has any heard of that idea? I am totally against as I am not leaving the house.

I have heard of people doing all sorts of weird things like this but I think it is dumb and would not do it.

I would also stop wasting time and money with MC. You can see the sort of stupidity you will be presented with.

You should not leave your home. That just makes it easier for your WW to kick you out and replace you. If your wife wants to have an affair and abandon her family, then let her do that, but you should not sleep anywhere else to accommodate her affair.

This is why marriage counselors are so destructive to marriages. All your MC is doing is facilitating a divorce. You need help saving your marriage, not wrecking it.

Does the marriage counselor have any plans to save your marriage? I would bet NOT.

Agreed.

Post the OM on www.Playerblock.com (internet exposure) and www.liarscheatersrus.com

Identify him fully. Post his business phone number and warn people he is a contractor that uses his job to pursue married women.

Threads merged. Please stick to one thread.

Do these MCs advertise on infidelity sites or something? Their goals and the waywards goals are as one.

This is why we are sleazy saying - dont waste money on MCs in general - but especially not when there's an affair!

Your MC's suggestion is helpful for divorce,and the logistics therof, but not for narriage recovery.

From what I've read here, the average marriage counselor has an 84% client divorce rate. That MC's advice is not helpful to your goal of saving your marriage.

*always saying

Not sleazy!

I am done with WW and I can not take the constant lies and deceit. I am standing my ground and not moving out even if we take it a week at time.

I am the primary care giver as I stayed at home for my kids for at 8 years while WW grew her career. So right now my priority is the kids. As I am the one they look to for support.

I did tell WW if she is so unhappy in house go live with OM and said "I only want you to be happy." After that she left to stay at hotel for night. Yes I a keep a log of all this and all the time she is to leave early for work or stay late. Also all doc and school appointment I take them to.

Yes, I am done with MC he also my IC. Will be switching IC's.

Sir,

You need to follow Plan A.
Don't tell your wife to move out and live with OM.
Don't tell her you only want her to be happy. Instead, tell her: "I am willing to work with you to create a loving marriage but you must first end your affair."

At this point, you need to get a voice activated recorder and keep it hidden on you at all times (even while sleeping) as protection against false allegations.
She will get desperate since you aren't enabling her affair and may try to set you up on false charges.

I have tried plan A and have asked her several times to end affair to no avail. I have also done full exposure and that did nothing to end the affair it only made her more pissed at me.
At this point for my own sanity it would be best if she left.

I do like voice recorder idea will look into that.

Thank you for all the advice it is greatly appreciated.

I think you are on the verge of turning this around and eventually ending this affair and the addiction aspect. You've done the work of exposure and are in a reactive phase.

Use the scripting veteran posters are arming you with and not arguing with your wife will help to not validate her reactions. Her brain on affair will not see the truth.

Telling your wife you only want her to be happy is your brain on the affair. Its in a kind of fog too. Your in pain and you want to not be in pain anymore. You see your wife and you see pain.

You may not feel confident this can be turned around so for now, right now, its best to borrow our confidence. We see you are in this pocket and its a matter of time for the affair to implode.

This phase of complete bald face rejections and betrayal from your spouse is traumatic. The best thing to do is put one foot in front in the other each day, each hour and each moment and muster all the faith you have in a power greater then yourself. Having this experience may help you get through other tough spots in life.

Don't leave the site. Come back and post everyday. We know you are doing the work. You can come here and complain and vent.