Yeah I actually just threw in the comment about the forums because of the overwhelming bad marriage response (which I 100% agree with). There was a lot more that I didn't get a chance to say.. It goes by so quick..
But I guess I did misunderstand. I did take it as actually divorcing as opposing to filing. I'm new at this whole thing so I don't quite have the lingo down.
My husband isn't supporting me. He is paying the court ordered child support and my car insurance, but I pay the rest of the bills for my household. My dad helps me financially too.
I'm pretty sure I understand your advice now. If I would have known, I would have let you know that he is not providing much at all for the household.
Sorry for the confusion.
What do you think about Dr. Harley's response?

Is his boss female? If so, I have a hunch he's having an affair with her. He said she's counting the days until the two of you divorce, which is extremely suspicious.
Do file for child support before he fathers a child with someone else. If multiple women claim that a particular man fathered their kids, the first one to go to court gets a larger share of his income for her kids. The others are awarded support based on what's left. Protect yourself and your babies.

Radio Clip of HersheyKiss's Show
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4

Thanks brainhurts

Celtic: I would be super suspicious if that were the case as well, but his boss is male.

Guys, did you get out of this that I should be in plan b until he decides to change jobs? I was a little confused about that.

I'm having a difficult time..
I'm 12 weeks pregnant and just went for my first ultrasound.
They found a mass in my uterus and they don't know what it is.
I'm hoping its a fibroid.. They are sending me back for another ultra sound in 1-2 weeks.
I was so panicked that I told my husband. I asked him if he cared... Which was... A bad decision on my part.
His response was: "The moment I care about something you take it away from me so I just stop caring about anything"
I don't know what he was talking about specifically.
I was still panicked and txting him..
He said a few more things that were.. Not mean, not nice, kind of indifferent.
Then he txt me in the middle of the night saying: "When something bad happens to me I know God is punishing me for my sins"
Implying that God is punishing me, I suppose.

I'm tired of not being cared about. I'm tired of being called a selfish [censored]. I'm tired of hearing my son ask where his dad is and having to answer "I don't know". I'm sick of being told that I will soon have to "face the consequences of my behavior" and that "it's going to hit you so hard and so fast you will look back on what you've done to me and so many others and you will collapse to your boney little knees and beg for God to take it all away"
Coupled with long, long silences.
Is it time to plan B until baby is born? Court is on Monday, so maybe after that?

Plan B.

The "mass" is most certainly a fibroid and I am appalled that they have told you that in a way that has worried you so much. If you see something like that, which is very common, you should never tell a pregnant woman in a way that makes her feel uncertain. A control visit will clarify that. If you hear a vehicle in the street and can't see what it is, chances are, it is a car and not a flying saucer or a tank. The same with a "mass" in your uterus, that would be a fibroid.

Don't worry, fibroids go away during pregnancy, although they can cause some discomfort while desintegrating. Good for you, there is no better therapy for fibroids than pregnancy. Don't lose sleep over this. If they are not able to tell you the above during your next visit, seek a second opinion from someone who will not make you hyperventilate over perfectly normal issues.

Happyheart, thanks so much for replying.. That does make me feel better. I guess the reason I'm so worried that it's not a fibroid (aside from the dr saying she wasn't sure what it was) is that I've had it during my last two pregnancies and it is just now big enough to cause my uterus to be hard and fixed. Also, I have mee's lines on my fingernails which freaked me out. And let's be honest. I'm freaking out anyway all the time over everything. But your response makes me feel a lot better

When is the earliest you can be in Plan B?

Do you have an IM?

What is an IM?

I can do it after court for sure.. I'll have to face him that day, but I don't see why I would need to contact him after that.

It's an intermediary.

Here read this.

How to Plan B Correctly

Brain hurts:
I'm in the process of reading your post. Unfortunately I don't have an IM and I don't know anyone who would be willing to do that for me. I have no friends and my parents are divorced and don't like hearing about my marriage problems.
Honestly though, I'm not sure why we would need one. He doesn't ever see the kids or ask about them. Maybe he would need to know that the baby is born in November, but when I was pregnant with my last baby no one that I know of told him he was born and he never contacted me about it.

If you have had this for such a long time, it sounds like something that can wait a few more months untill after the baby is born and not something to panic about.

Mees' lines are rare, but beau's lines or minor transverse grooves of the nails are known to occur during pregnancy. If your blood work was normal and you are feeling well, I would not worry about it. Stress or illness can also cause transverse grooves and we all know you have abundant stress.

Chances are, that you will live to see another day, if you can keep this stress-causing husband out of your mind for the time being.

Did Dr. Harley ever respond to MelodyLane's email?

I listened to this as one full unit, from the archives, and here it seems like a segment is missing or out of order.

Hershey, you Both went on the radio show prior to you posting, correct?

And then when he said that he was unwilling to make changes, you went on the show again?

On the radio show, Dr. Harley said to wait until the child support court date to see what the conversation exchange is at that point.

Has your husband been contacting you since then? How often do you see him now, or does he call you?

Happy heart: I looked up beau's lines and they aren't groves like that. But I know logically that you are right.. No need to panic.

Didntquit: Yes, he was on the February 26th show. And yes, he spent almost a month away after that show. He came home, made up with me, wanted sex, then as I opened up to him about the things I had been doing at work (had a meeting and had to implement some new quality control procedures) he started having more and more angry outbursts with me until he left. He has been gone for three more weeks I believe now.
He only texts me if I text him. So I was the one who contacted him after the last show I was on. He didn't listen to the show. I didn't tell him what dr Harley said either, I just told him I was on. When he decides to respond to my texts, he is very angry. He talks about how I am cheating and how I will "pay" for my actions. He tells me that I am the reason he does not come home. He says evil things to me that make my skin crawl.
Just today he told me he had a sign from God that things weren't over, then he went on for 40 minutes about how I am a bad wife who lets men into her space etc etc. When I ignore these accusations he complains that I never address his problems. But really, I'm just avoiding talking to him because he is being so rude to me. I'm working hard on my angry outbursts toward him and so far, it has worked. But that is just over text.
He never calls. We went from talking 8 hours or more a day and texting in between to this.

The way he responded to your mass and fear about it made MY skin crawl.


And the fact that he is saying evil things to you and making your skin crawl and is not there being a husband may be YOUR sign from God that things ARE over--or at the very least that it is time for plan B. I am not an MB expert but this situation cannot be good for you or your children.

I did hear your radio show when it was on and recall Dr. Harley saying your pregnancy hormones will actually help protect your emotions/health until the baby is born. But it seems that when you do reach out to him (like when you texted him about your mass), he responds as if that is unattractive to him. Did this 40 minute "conversation" come after you pulled back away from him? If so that my show that Plan B would be your best option to save your marriage or just your sanity.

He did say that, but he also thought that her husband would be supportive, which it appears that they are still fighting, and he is not supporting her.

I'll bet that Dr. Harley would say to prepare for plan B, talk with him at the court hearing, and then go into Plan B.

Guys, I have to admit a weakness. I'm very scared of everything. Being alone is the worst. I need to get friends asap, but it's hard when I work at a very small business during the day and have 4 kids at night. I went to the church we were married at a couple times and it gave me a panic attacks because I think about death. I started crying while I was there. As soon as I start panicking, I reach out to him. He normally ends up saying something along the lines of "have your boyfriend come over then".
I have no support. I'm scared of storms and this is the worst month... The wind is picking up outside my house and the thunder is getting louder. I'm so scared. All I want to do is talk to him. When I get like this, I don't even care if he says disgusting things to me because I stop thinking about what I'm scared of. I want everything to stop, but I feel like I'm in a catch 22. I have no one to reach out to.

Plan B letter should have the following items:

1. He needs a job where he can be home every night before moving in with you.
2. No nights apart.
3. Eliminate Lovebusters. Both learn not to argue about things.
4. Create a mutually happy marriage. You are willing to accommodate his perspective into your lifestyle.

Didntquit, that's extremely helpful information. Thank you so much.