Geez oh...

Not Sugar_Cane but I still don't understand why you and the wife separated after all that. What were the 6 specific issues and what were the other three?


My answer would be no but that is not the issue. It bothers you so it should stop.

Why wait?

Because there is just one game left - tomorrow night... And I want to point out occasions of it as it happens.

As to the rest, I don't think that you have read entire post, responding comments or my replies.

They are NOT "bowling partners"... that occurred completely outside my wife's control. She doesn't know him. There's a particular "bowling etiquette" that bowlers properly use (if you don't regularly league bowl, you wouldn't know). And technically it's a 4-person team, not a setup of two 2-person sub-teams combined to a main team. But in real practice in Mixed Leagues (which require 2 males and 2 females per team), it generally ends up (over 95% of time) being two couples... As in this case, at the start of the season their team consisted of my daughter and her BF, my wife and a grandson... my daughter and her BF are one couple and wife and grandson was the other "couple"... but they all four bowl together against an opposing 4-person team. Then grandson was "slid out" and replaced with this sub (by daughter and her BF as this sub is close friends with BF and a much better bowler... my wife had NO input on sub).

Additionally, the sub does high fives and fist bumps (proper bowling etiquette within leagues) with my daughter and his friend, but gimme skin - which I feel you don't fully grasp - with wife). It isn't a "well, we're special partners" type thing.

Please also see my recent reply to SugarCane.

You know LRS, call it what you want..a bowling partner, a sub, a four person team made up of two couples...WHATEVER...your wife is paired up with a man who is giving her "skin".

When you are done with the semantics perhaps people can help you.

Nevermind...I see you only want to know if what you see as flirting is flirting. My answer is No. Good luck to you.

I agree. you are making your posts far too complicated for people who are doing their paid work, their housework, their childrearing, or cooking dinner, in between posting, to follow. I almost lost the will to live reading through that incredibly detailed reply you made 45 minutes ago - at the end of which, despite your having chastised me (which is RUDE), I STILL don't know why you separated in 2013. Could you explain in a paragraph of no more than 4 lines, please?

And I don't l know anything about bowling, and neither do I care. I don't know anything about different forms of "skin", and I have no interest in trying to understand the subtleties. (The rules of American sports are completely opaque to Brits, anyway.) It isn't necessary for me to understand those details. I only replied to you because your marriage is in a bad state and the Marriage Builders programme has a lot to offer you on that - and I took time away from my family to do so. I do not appreciate being slapped for not reading your tedious, losing-sight-of-the-wood-while-focusing-on-the-trees, rambling posts properly.

Answer people's questions without the put-downs, if you want any more help.

Seriously!!! Who gives a stuff? I'm not going to read and re-read this detail so that I can understand it to your satisfaction!

How rude!!!

May I point out that you came to a website that has this sign on the door:

"This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. "

When you come to the Marriage Builders forum, marriage advice is what you get. If you're looking for a haircut, you came to the wrong place.

Oh, well I can see that your age, your length of marriage and your length of service give you more knowledge and insight than anyone here has. I can see the positive effect that has had on your marriage these 46 years, with all those emotional affairs, and the contempt with which your wife treats you today.

So why all this backdrop, in your first post? Nobody asked you for it:


How condescending, but you're welcome.

I don't see that being in a long marriage has given you a GOOD marriage, such that you can come here and condescend to people on the grounds that they haven't been married as long as you!

I was in the Marines roughly early 1969 into early 1972. My wife LIVED WITH ME IN BASE HOUSING for 90+% of the time once I completed my basic and main specialty training. I was in LE from 1972 - 2000, so have been retired for 15 years... since I was 49. Yes, police work (which I feel you know nothing about) has strange hours - rotating shifts, unexpected overtime, court time when you are on another shift or days off, etcetera... plus aside from Patrol, worked the Wanted Fugitive Squad on several cycles and was with SWAT for over 15 years. We did fine. We raised 4 kids and helped beaucoup in raising 13 grandkids.

My wife was a SAHM until our youngest child hit Middle School. Then she began working. Some was P/T and some was F/T. Her choice. The income was considered "her money" (MY call... I paid the bills) other than emergency situations and special contigencies. She started working again, P/T, her choice of hours, out of home, about a year before the separation.

In raising the kids, we went out of our stay to take special vacation trips (I'd save up not just vacation time, but Holidays, Personal Days, etcetera to have time for multiple vacations during the year). We went on 1-3 week vacations frequently. Canada, Florida, Texas, Utah, etcetera multiple times. Plus our kids were very athletic and in the 1980s spent vacations on multiple times going to National Softball competitions around the country (Minnesota, Georgia, Alabama, Kansas, etcetera).

**EDIT**

A warning that this thread will be locked if the disrespect does not stop. Our posters are volunteers who are educated in Dr. Bill Harley's program. While they are not PhD's [although some posters are PhD's], one does not need a PhD to understand the Marriage Builders program. Please show respect for those who are taking their valuable personal time to assist you. Thank you, Denali

**EDIT**

LRS,

Almost everyone here is on your side, we cannot understand your life from the few words you have spoken that is true, you can at least be polite to people who do you no harm and are unpaid.

Gamma

Edited

**EDIT***