If you have no kids and hassles and are dating, an hour in between is probably more effective than in your situation.
The problem with an hour in the bedroom in the evening, is that you will be tired and probably will be sleeping together instead of "sleeping" together.

This is not fun time, like the time your husband spends celebrating with his team after they have won. Also, you will notice the clothes laying in the bedroom that have not been folded away, the kids will get up and do all sorts of things (I'm talking "mommy, why is the door locked, I want to a. pee, b. kiss good nigt, c. have you finish my paper for tomorrow, d. give me my school money, e. ask if I can see the end of Star Wars, just this time, f. ...).

It will probably not be a good environment where you can spend time connecting, laughing and talking about the good times, so that you (especially women need time to connect) will be in the best of moods to be romantically seduced. Instead, you will come to dread these sullen and tedious hours, locked up in the bedroom doing whatever you do in the bedroom.

I wouldn't prescribe "quitting the job" as the solution. I would simply insist that this problem has to be solved, somehow - you need him to spend 15 hours per week with you, and if he wants to solve that by rearranging the schedule, changing jobs, or whatever, anything will work as long as it solves that problem. I'm sure he can come up with lots of options, but not if you don't insist that you have to have this from him.

I can't do this because then the kids would never see their dad. That is not fair either. They don't stay up much after he gets home, but they are typically still up. The little one is sometimes in bed, if he has a longer than usual night.

I understand what you are saying and I would think if we were just sleeping or not interacting in any way that the time would not count. The only way I would think the time in the room would count was if we were talking / interacting or having sex. To be honest, most of the time now, he doesn't even come to bed with me, unless we basically already know that we are going to have sex. He typically ends up falling asleep on the couch before I go to bed, and then coming in the room a couple hours later.

I have asked him numerous times to come with me, and he says he doesn't do it on purpose, that he is just so exhausted....which I understand that he really is exhausted. I do get the point about their being clothes laying around, etc (other distractions).

I understand what you are saying and I would think if we were just sleeping or not interacting in any way that the time would not count. The only way I would think the time in the room would count was if we were talking / interacting or having sex. To be honest, most of the time now, he doesn't even come to bed with me, unless we basically already know that we are going to have sex. He typically ends up falling asleep on the couch before I go to bed, and then coming in the room a couple hours later.

I have asked him numerous times to come with me, and he says he doesn't do it on purpose, that he is just so exhausted....which I understand that he really is exhausted. I do get the point about their being clothes laying around, etc (other distractions).

Thank you. This seems much more reasonable. The way it was coming across to me was "he has to quit his job" which I know he won't do.

Oh my,

I just read about the unlimited hours a person can work in Texas. And I thought 42 hours was bad (considering normal work week was 36-38 where I used to live...). Here, regular days over 10 hours are illegal...

Well except for emigration, you have to find the time to have fun with your husband. Much of this time, should be spent in blocks of 2-4 hours.

Wednesday:
You could go out with him right after work, if he is ready 17:30 and spend 3 hours relaxing and having fun together.

Saturday: you have 8 hours of time between 13:00 and 21:00 where you can put in 4 hours family time and 4 hours UA time.

Sunday, you also have 12 waking hours and can put in family and UA time.

On 1-2 of the other days, you could have lunch with him, if possible in private, since you are working at the same school.

The thing is, though, that
1. it is very hard to have an integrated life, if your husband is spending so much time away from the family.
2. if anything unexpected comes up, and it always does, you don't have 15 hours and will be stressed because there is no redundance in your schedule.

Is it an option to attend some of the games with him, not to spend time with him during the game, but you could explore the town and drive home with him.
It is dangerous for him to have so much time without you, especially since he is probably mixing with young people who do all kinds of not-marriage-compatible things, like partying with cheerleaders etc.

I understand what you are saying and I would think if we were just sleeping or not interacting in any way that the time would not count. The only way I would think the time in the room would count was if we were talking / interacting or having sex. To be honest, most of the time now, he doesn't even come to bed with me, unless we basically already know that we are going to have sex. He typically ends up falling asleep on the couch before I go to bed, and then coming in the room a couple hours later.

I have asked him numerous times to come with me, and he says he doesn't do it on purpose, that he is just so exhausted....which I understand that he really is exhausted. I do get the point about their being clothes laying around, etc (other distractions).

UA time at home will not work because he will ignore her. He will not give her his undivided attention. He will divide his attention between her and things at home. Even if the children are asleep.

No woman who is having trouble getting her husband to do UA should be encouraged to do UA at home.

Thanks again for the thoughtful reply. And yes the hours are ridiculous, and this is the LEAST hours he has ever had to work.

The lunch idea is good. Right now we do actually eat lunch together, but not alone. We eat in the teacher's lounge with everyone. Maybe if we just scheduled 2 days a week where we ate alone. That would get us one more hour (out of the house). It wouldn't necessarily be "fun" but it would let allow us some conversation....

Is it an option to attend some of the games with him, not to spend time with him during the game, but you could explore the town and drive home with him.
It is dangerous for him to have so much time without you, especially since he is probably mixing with young people who do all kinds of not-marriage-compatible things, like partying with cheerleaders etc.

Do not count this time as UA unless it is fun and at least 2 hours alone. Squeezing an hour in here and there to make a check on the list will not work. You need to schedule everything else around your marriage, not the other way around.

It needs to be the highlight of your week.

Dr. Harley has never had a man lose his job from telling their employer that their wife has to come first.

because obviously our schedule doesn't make for a lot of options.

If my husband had to leave practice or a game for me once, then no he would not lose his job. If he said, "coach once a week my wife and I are going to go out and I will have to leave mid-way through practice", then yes he would absolutely lose his job. None of the head coach's he has had would have accepted anything like that.

They don't have to sleep rightaway, but if you like, you can get them used to playing in their room for x time in their pajamas after teeth brushing until your husband comes home to tell them their bedtime story/say good night etc. But it is less hectic than when you still have to get them ready. Also, it is fair for the children to get at least 12 hours of sleep as they will be less tired during the day and in the morning.

Of course I do not live in your home, it is just my experience with my 5 children.

Dr. Harley's never had it happen with any of the men he's worked with.

The two of you will probably need to brainstorm ways to change your schedule.