I sometimes really felt like slapping him on the face just to make him snap back into 2015. He would be spacing out once in a while in 2010 and he subconsciously or consciously triggers himself and then says things such as I should have never married you, now that I think about it, I never loved you when I married you, or re-tells our history the wrong way, or picks a movie about affairs, and then says that every cheater's OM should be like in the movie (he was a psycho-killer). Oh, thanks, that must make me feel so safe. Then says, instead, your ex was your blue prince, right? Then he keeps on comparing himself to my ex and compares me to his ex. Then he just thinks everything is fine, doesn't really realize what he just said.
We finally went back to okay, lets talk it all all out for one last time, and we went over everything, including resentment he had from when we weren't even boyfriends and only friends. We got it over though after a three hour talk.
We both apologized over each of our mistakes, and he promised to never bring my mistakes again and I did too about his. I keep remembering the separation recommendation, because I don't feel emotionally safe with him. And, if I am separated, I might as well be divorced, so we free each other from our marriage's pains, and then we can re-marry if he wants to, without being forced to it and we start a new marriage. No one talks about an old marriage in a new one, right? But we'll try once more, to live in 2015, and if we can't this time, we both agree to divorce and option of remarriage if we both find that okay, and that was our conclusion yesterday.

My husband just told me the most encouraging words for our future. He said I want to be your hero and protect you in all senses. That's the first of those types of talks in all our lives. He also got me something called St John's wort, so he is showing a lot of care.

My husband just told me the most encouraging words for our future. He said I want to be your hero and protect you in all senses. That's the first of those types of talks in all our lives. He also got me something called St John's wort, so he is showing a lot of care.

I talked with my husband and we concluded I am with anxiety symptoms since I have been overthinking our conversations. I can't understand how could he not believe in love, makeup our past history about our exes or is it that he is actually wayward or withdrawing, bit he is more loving than ever. Is it necessary I take anxiety pills or should I expect that to lessen as we bond and trust each other again.

My husband just told me the most encouraging words for our future. He said I want to be your hero and protect you in all senses. That's the first of those types of talks in all our lives. He also got me something called St John's wort, so he is showing a lot of care.

He said he loves me but is not in love with me, and will never be again

What happened to following Dr Harley's advice regarding your H's abuse, anger and disrespect?

I haven't had time to check all the references in the report that happyheart kindly linked, but I checked this one, because the title is interesting.

Does a long-term relationship kill romantic love?
Authors:
Acevedo, Bianca P., Department of Psychology, Stony Brook University, NY, US,
Aron, Arthur, Department of Psychology, Stony Brook University, NY, US
Review of General Psychology, Vol 13(1), Mar, 2009. pp. 59-65.

It says:

"In this article we argue that romantic love�with intensity, engagement, and sexual interest�can last. Although it does not usually include the obsessional qualities of early stage love, it does not inevitably die out or at best turn into companionate love�a warm, less intense love, devoid of attraction and sexual desire. We suggest that romantic love in its later and early stages can share the qualities of intensity, engagement, and sexual liveliness. We briefly review relevant taxonomies, theoretical perspectives, and research; present new analyses of an existing data set of long-term couples; report a meta-analysis of the association of relationship satisfaction with romantic love in long and short-term relationships; review studies of long-term love's relation to individual well-being; and conclude with implications for theory, research, and applications."

Hi SC, I did, actually. It does indeed make for interesting reading. Is romantic love the same thing as infatuation? I'm still new to this, so please bear with me.

Well - that's a matter of definition, isn't it? And that will vary, depending on who is doing the defining, and for what purpose.

I have never heard Dr H use the term "infatuation", or try to define the difference between that and romantic love. He uses the term romantic love, which he does define, and he tries to make romantic love last a lifetime.

I do see what you are trying to get at, but I think you're trying too hard to define specific stages. Dr H doesn't really do that, to my knowledge.

The term 'infatuation" has rather pejorative overtones, I think. People seem to use to for the very purpose of dismissing certain feelings. They use it to describe feelings that, in this view, cannot possibly last. The argument is that if you take life-changing decisions when you are in the infatuation stage, you will come to regret them, because your feelings will wear off and you will be stuck with someone you don't love at all - you might not even like them very much.

I've never heard Dr H talk about that with respect to getting married. He gives advice on how to choose a future spouse, and the willingness to POJA is the most important criterion that we can use to predict the likelihood of success.

Having your feelings wear off is not to be confused with finding out that your spouse is a mass murderer. You need to know as much as you can about your future spouse's history.

But Dr Harley is very much against the idea that our feelings must wear off. The goal of MB is to stop them wearing off, and to keep in-love feelings alive.

I love learning these concepts.

Infatuation is the same as falling in love.

an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something:

"he had developed an infatuation with the girl"

in�fat�u�ate
(ĭn-făch′o͞o-āt′)
tr.v. in�fat�u�at�ed, in�fat�u�at�ing, in�fat�u�ates
1. To inspire with unreasoning love or attachment.

2. To cause to behave foolishly.

adj. (-ĭt, -āt′)
Infatuated.