So, i should keep making contact with her? try and give her love deposits. no arguing.

i have read most of the articles already. i need to get what i need together and expose.
I promised my wife i would fight. i will continue. the posom took advantage of a venerable married women. My wife.

When are you exposing?

When are you moving back home?

When are you exposing to your children?

Go Go, while you have momentum. Have you identified him? Try a reverse cell phone look up. If that doesn't work, get a PI. Look at her Facebook. Is he there? Will the friend tell you who he is ?

And go home.

Also, download Surviving An Affair on Kindle or Audible RIght away!

Hello Brain,

I am away for 10 more days then flying home. I will find out who he is and then prepare to expose.

I will probably move back into new house same time as i expose.

I have spoke with the two oldest children already. They really went to bat for me months ago and argued steady of how bad there mother was treating me. this was witnessed many times by wifes friends. she would tell the kids we are all happier now and the kids said no. that she and everyone else is not happier. they wanted me back in the family. she verbally attacked the boy for saying that. the wife always was a very controlling person but has become so much more controlling in this.

Things could very well be to late to save this. i know my wife wanted so hard to save our marriage when this began but somehow she couldn't see how much i loved her and things kept getting worse and worse till the day i did not recognize her anymore. i must say she has considerably calmed down recently compared to when all the re writing history and anger was all that came from her mouth or texts. another thing now i do not like is she prefers to communicate with me through text instead of call. i must say i could hear the guilt in her voice when she used to call as soon as she said hi. The attraction, excitement was missing, replaced by the sound of guilt.

Isn't your marriage more important than a business trip?

Hi Apples,
No one knows who he is right now. i am fairly certain but she admits nothing to no one. she has become better at listening to her friends than talking. she knows they are all fishing for the truth. She has pretty much admitted it to me many times but never outright. Always "none of my business" or "you said you would understand if i wanted to start over with some one else" "you pushed me away so many times that i would go looking for attention elsewhere"

The worst one i got was a text picture of a saying " Most men arn't smart enough to realize that the higher you elevate your women, the less available she is for other men. when you break her down, you make her accessible to anyone she thinks will treat her better" Yes i told her that one really hurts and i hope she is not sending me that for that reason. she changed the subject.

yes apples it is but we need this financially right now and my marriage is on the verge of disaster and we canot afford my company losing this deal as we could lose all.

I know it sounds so wrong but there is no other way to save what we have right now. what i forgot to mention about the wifes bad financial move was she took a very large amount of money out of company to keep progress going on house in between draws thinking she would just replace it when we got the next draw and then the bank cancelled all remaining draws as we over went the 18 months we expected to complete the home. they would give us the mortgage but we had to find the money ourselves to finish before they would release anymore, thus jeopardizing the company as it has large payments. yes it was a mess.

Thank you people so much for all this help. You give so much hope and a clear direction.

Yes my marriage is the most important thing in the world. it used to be to her but that is a complete opposite of her feelings now.

Hi apples,
I seen what you wrote on another thread that as a husband you have a right to expose a affair. i never looked at it that way. it helps me accept doing this so much more now.

What is your plan to find out who OM is? Can you check online phone records to see who she is talking to?

My plan will be a gps on vehicles. i will hire a pi once i know where she is going. i know its work days she comes home late from most often.

I suspect they are 4 months into this affair. how does this length stage them for how deep there feelings are?

when are you going to act??????

1. move home
2. hire PI now, do all your snooping and gather intel (its all in the exposure 101 thread)
3. expose far and wide (from an affair perspective, if it is a coworker, you are in the drivers seat)

Man up and be strong for your kids!!!!

as soon as I get back I will gather some more proof then expose.

Its like her love just turned off like a light switch. I could sense and see in her eyes after she had sex with him. It scared the sht out of me.

So what happens to my love? does she turn it toward him? Why does it turn them into someone completely different?

Its just so many people can see the change. its like she just snapped.

If somehow it gets saved will she be the same person she used to be? will she be able to love me the same as she did before?

You aren't there but a PI could find out now. Hire one today.

Why wait?
You can hire a PI from where ever you are, you can snoop on things now (FB, phone records, etc.)