Yeah it don't make sense.

She went on trip with posom. not sure her sis knows of him. the sil ex husband did this to her. i do not see her being ok about this. she is a woman of high standard and morals. the bil is going to covertly see what is going on. i hope im not wrong about sil.

I need to come to grips that this women don't care about me anymore. Just don't get it. all she is giving up. i have been told by someone who worked with him he is a super nice guy, WTF.

Sonotfun... same here. My wife gave up a 6K sq ft house for an 800 sq ft apartment.. an awesome family life, financial security.. freedom to stay at home.. she is going lose the kids too. It doesn't make logical sense... but I guess that is what affairs are all about and logic goes out the window. Just like being on drugs, they throw their life away over nothing more than an extreme act of selfishness and destructive behavior. It's really sad.

so do they ever come out of it one day and regret it, do they ever have remorse and try to make amends for the pain they have caused to so many? When they get off the addiction it all fades away and they see clear again? why is it so strong of an effect? They cant see beyond the fix? my real reason for asking is to maybe help get the strength to fight for this even though there is so much brutal pain in it.

They sure do, sometimes. Sometimes they realize they've made a terrible mistake. Sometimes they realize they are better off in their real marriage. Have you read about Jon and Sue in Surviving an Affair?

Sonotfun,

You wrote, i have been told by someone who worked with him he is a super nice guy, WTF.

Quite common, wants to be seen as a great human being as it appeals to his narcissism, wants the good opinion of those around him, his extra large pickup is always perfectly clean.

The sort of guy who has a few OW on the side and keeps them psychologically enslaved. Newt Gingrich comes to mind divorces every 20 years to wed a new and younger wife he had an affair with or Bill Cosby who was so fastidious about his appearance as a decent person.

Gamma

Hi Markos,
Yes I have read it. I think I have a real bad version of jon and sue and greg.

Sue was a real bad version of Sue.

When her affair finally died she wanted her marriage back, but not because she loved her husband; just because it worked out better for her. She expressed no remorse at all.

Yet today Jon and Sue are happily married and in love with each other. I heard Dr. Harley repeat that on the radio the other day.

Hello all,
Well I have told the kids. shown them the truth. how very hard. so hard to do but how rolling over and letting things continue is so much wrong. I asked the kids if they wanted me to stop and they said no, it is the right thing to do. They cried so much. They are very angry about the choices their mom has made. They say its wrong. its adultery. they are very hurt in their mothers choices and say they will not support her in any of this. I am so lucky to have such great kids. Why do they have to pay for their mothers weak selfish acts?

Also I found texts from ws to her family side that doesn't really know me where she is completely demonizing me and making me out to be a monster. the kids said they have herd her doing it there to and they just went away to do something else so they didn't have to hear. they feel bad but I told them they shouldn't and im so proud of their honesty.

Am suppose to talk to Dr H on Monday so I plan to expose on tue or wed. I will be moving back in then and the kids say they will stay with me if there mother trys to leave. I have tried to explain the hard battle ahead to them as best I could so they are prepared. they know things are going to get very ugly. they are so supportive of this as they say it is the right thing and what there mom is doing is wrong and they want no part in it. the boy says he will never accept posom and will punch him in the face if she ever tries to introduce pos. I had to convince him that he does not need to do that. wow, here we go. I am doing this for my family, my marriage, my wife.

What amazing kids!


So glad they can now talk to you about the weird stuff they've been hearing.

Can they hold off confronting her until exposure day? It's best to pack the punches into the same 24 hours.

Why are you delaying exposure? Just do it now.

You don't have to wait until she returns. It would be really good for everyone to blow her phone up when she's with him.

It usually causes a huge row between them. You can expose, then be all moved back in before she gets home. Keep your recorder switched on for the homecoming!

No reason to wait . this affair has had enough time to hide.

Joyce asked me to wait till after I spoke with Dr H.

I really want to expose now but will wait.

Hi, there is a letter to send to posom friends somewhere. does any one know where it is? I have used the friends and family template for ours.
Thanks

So she left the kids at home for 5 days on their own while she flew to another province with her posom. oldest is 16, youngest 6. I was not told any of it. I came home from work early for this and found that out. I don't like it.

I so bad want to send the posom a text saying:

"Hi, can you pass on to XXXX that leaving the kids at home for 5 days alone does not look good on her part and looks very irresponsible as a mother. Anyways how is your trip?"

I do have hi number.


That would get some conversation going between them. some pillow talk.

You'll also tip your hand in the custody dispute, and passive aggressive is never attractive, anyway. Just get the exposure done. If you haven't found the sample letters for friends of OM, here they are:

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2558474

Hi all. so when I send out the emails do I send or cc to her and him as well? Thanks

No! Otherwise they'll preempt you and start telling everyone they're about to receive a message from her crazy husband. Let the people contact them. Don't warn them!