|
|
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 268
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 268 |
I have moved on already .I am dating and enjoying my social life.If the apology were genuine I don't mind being friends with her.But if she's still being manipulative like when she was cheating on me then I don't want anything to do with her again.
I am ready to file D .
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
Marriage Builders will advise you to divorce her and stay in Plan B. You will not get any advice here to be friends with her.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10 |
I have moved on already .I am dating and enjoying my social life.If the apology were genuine I don't mind being friends with her.But if she's still being manipulative like when she was cheating on me then I don't want anything to do with her again.
I am ready to file D . It's wrong to date before you are divorced. Not divorced means still married. How is what you are doing morally different from what your wife did?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
No, you're married and you are still upset when she talks to you. It will probably always be upsetting when she talks to you, so I would encourage you to not see or talk to her at all and to file for divorce immediately and make quick work of it. You've not moved on - you are married and emotionally affected by her. A dark Plan B is the solution, and if you want female companionship, divorce is the solution. I asked if you are listening to the Marriage Builders Radio show, daily. Could you please answer?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
If the apology were genuine I don't mind being friends with her. Why would you ever want to be friends with her even if she is "genuine"? This woman is the source of the greatest pain you've ever been through in your life. It doesn't make you a better man to be friends with her - it makes you nuts!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Not divorced = not moved on
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968 Likes: 1 |
She s asking if we could discuss about filing a divorce. There is no need to discuss filing a divorce. Yes, you should still be in Plan B. You can see what talking to her does - it makes you feel upset. It prolongs the pain. Agreed. It's only going to harm you emotionally to interact with her regarding the divorce and it is very likely that she will try to manipulate you in some way if you do talk to her about it. She should not be trusted at all. Not sure what your real estate/property situation with her is like but without kids getting a divorce should be very simple even if she does contest your terms. Your lawyer can handle all of the contact with your wife (though don't be surprised if he encourages you to so he doesn't have to do the work). I also agree you should not date until this is all final. You are probably cutting most of the potential buyers out of your pool of candidates by approaching them as a separated (but married) man rather than a divorced man. Someone who was serious would not approach someone else who was still legally married.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968 Likes: 1 |
I'd also add staying friends with her won't help either of you.
Not sure how you could ever be truly comfortable with her, and if you stay friends she may never understand how harmful her betrayal was to you.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391 |
Why be "Friends" with The One Person who hurt you more than anyone else in your life?
IF..... She actually gained a conscience and tried to do what was right, you would not even have to 2nd guess if she is sincere or not.
Also, YOU, personally are still too emotionally attached to her and the hurt of the betrayal. YOU are doing a disservice to ANY OTHER Woman you are "Dating", (Having An Affair With), because YOU are still married.
Do the Right thing for yourself and any future romantic interests and cut your unrepentant WIFE loose and get the Divorce done ASAP.
What's holding you back from moving on?
LTL
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Why be "Friends" with The One Person who hurt you more than anyone else in your life? I only pick friends who don't hurt me!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
1,100
guests, and
68
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,520
Members72,026
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
