Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 63 of 74 1 2 61 62 63 64 65 73 74
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by Remark
Poppy,
There won't be any opportunities today as she has class until 9:00 - 9:30 tonight, and works until then.
Thanks,
Remark

Figure out when and where will she be unwinding or recreating, and join her for that.

Don't plan something to do for yourself to unwind, find something to do with her.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Originally Posted by Remark
Apples,
Lunch wasn't viable today. Her ofc is 30 mins. from mine, best case. We're thinking along the same lines, though.
Thanks, Remark


Remark, keep in mind that your wife doesn't need to be available in order for you to pursue her. Asking her out makes love bank deposits even if she says she can't. In fact the less available she is, the more you get to showcase your persistence, patience and inventiveness.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,209
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,209
Originally Posted by indiegirl
Originally Posted by Remark
Apples,
Lunch wasn't viable today. Her ofc is 30 mins. from mine, best case. We're thinking along the same lines, though.
Thanks, Remark


Remark, keep in mind that your wife doesn't need to be available in order for you to pursue her. Asking her out makes love bank deposits even if she says she can't. In fact the less available she is, the more you get to showcase your persistence, patience and inventiveness.

Words of goodwill....
Text msgs and voicemails with hopeful messages. It's a new day!

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
R
Remark Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
Originally Posted by DidntQuit
Originally Posted by indiegirl
Originally Posted by Remark
Apples,
Lunch wasn't viable today. Her ofc is 30 mins. from mine, best case. We're thinking along the same lines, though.
Thanks, Remark


Remark, keep in mind that your wife doesn't need to be available in order for you to pursue her. Asking her out makes love bank deposits even if she says she can't. In fact the less available she is, the more you get to showcase your persistence, patience and inventiveness.

Words of goodwill....
Text msgs and voicemails with hopeful messages. It's a new day!

Didnt, Apples, Indie, Markos,

Thanks, good advice from you all.
Last night, JD2D had a mid-term in her class. No chance to unwind together. I did give her a gift I had purchased a few months ago for her, as she picked up our son at 10:00 PM, after that class mid-term.

I hope to get some of chances in the coming 3-day weekend to pursue her, perhaps even tonight.

We have an appointment with Steven Harley tomorrow at 12:30 PM. It will probably be a "make or break" meeting.

Thanks,
Remark

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,209
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,209
Make or break? That depends on how much you honor your wife aka honoring her perspective.

Don't think in absolutes, Remark. Please Don't assume. Life is not binary.

Be open. laugh

Last edited by DidntQuit; 07/02/15 10:43 AM.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by Remark
No chance to unwind together.

But she did unwind, somehow, at some point. Find out how she is doing it and when.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Quit posting reasons why you can't follow the plan. Just ignore the reasons and follow the plan anyway.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
The reason your marriage is not recovering is because when people post things like:

"Figure out when and where will she be unwinding or recreating, and join her for that."

Your response is things like:

"No chance to unwind together."

That's why. You aren't following the program.

Save your breath. Don't bother posting reasons why you can't follow the suggestions. There's no sense even typing it up.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,152
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,152
If someone gave you a million dollars to get your wife to say yes to going out with you this weekend, I bet you would be able to come up with some ideas...


me, DH
all the children
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
I wonder how the counseling session went.

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
R
Remark Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
It is tomorrow at 12:30.
I'll post something.
Thx, Remark

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
R
Remark Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
I asked her to the Botanical Gardens for this lantern display tonight. She declined saying she has some work to work on at the house.
I texted her later and asked if she needed help with that work. She said "no, think I'll take a nap",
Remark

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by Remark
I asked her to the Botanical Gardens for this lantern display tonight. She declined saying she has some work to work on at the house.
I texted her later and asked if she needed help with that work. She said "no, think I'll take a nap",
Remark

Nice work.

Ask again.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Good job smile


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,152
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,152
How did the counseling session work out?


me, DH
all the children
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
R
Remark Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
Originally Posted by happyheart
How did the counseling session work out?

HH,

I thought it went well. W probably didn't based on our little interactions since then. Spent half the session individually, first, W and then me. At end, all three of us conferred. We are both to set up individual sessions next week.

I am still pursuing W, getting rejections whenever I ask her out or to do something with son (like fireworks or dinner.) But, I'm still pursuing even though we're not accomplishing 15, let alone 30, hours/week.

Thanks for asking,
Remark


Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
What did Steve say?


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
Don't try to read her mind. It is disrespectful

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
R
Remark Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
Originally Posted by Prisca
What did Steve say?
Prisca,

First, you need to understand, W wanted to spend first session talking about the family dynamic. So, we did.
Steve laid it out to me that Biblically, my wife MUST come first, just as the forum has said, to establish the "glue" of our relationship. So, he is going to focus on that initially, refining my "compass" on that issue. He was semi-encouraging.

I'll be calling the MB office on Monday to set up next session.

Any thoughts/advice?
Thanks,
remadk

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
R
Remark Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 573
Originally Posted by apples123
Don't try to read her mind. It is disrespectful

Apples,
OK. I'll leave it at I thought it went well. Steve is very engaging and inspires my confidence to keep at it.

Thanks,
Remark

Page 63 of 74 1 2 61 62 63 64 65 73 74

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 430 guests, and 63 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5