I don't look at his fb, he has mutual friends with me of course and when he comments it shows on my feed. No legal action has been done, except odd speak with a lawyer for advice.

I did the plan b letter.
I have read a lot. I'm sure this is normal, but I feel my case is different that what I've been reading. He still hasn't admitted his cheating, or EA. He blames me.... He was nice to me two weeks ago, and then when he turns cold everyone on the form said to go into a real plan B, so I did. We have been separated now for a most 2 months, I feel he loves his new freedom. There is no real benifit of getting me back, so why would he.

I called my in laws and told them. Everyone else got a message from me. And if they needed proof I have it to them.

Lovestarr, you gave him a chance to own up to his wrongs. When you gave him your Plan B letter, he knew what was required for you to be willing to stay in the marriage. He has a way back to the marriage if he chooses it.

When you exposed all around, did you ask for everyone's help in contacting him to ask him to end his affair(s)?

When a man chooses to leave the home to carry on an affair, it is very difficult for the betrayed wife. The wife cannot "pursue" the husband, because it is not attractive to a man and will not "win" him back. It is very painful to the woman, as you are finding out.

This is why it is vitally important for you to get yourself an IM, and you make it impossible for your husband to ever have further contact with you (and vice versa) unless and until he agrees to every requirement that you have stipulated for being willing to recover the marriage.

If he is "not having an affair", then it should be easy for him to agree to all of your requirements, right?

Sadly your case is not different. Are you thinking that it is different because you have children?

When you KNOW that he has had an affair(s) and he still won't admit it, that is not different at all...it is called lying. Every single wayward out there blames their spouse for their own sins. I'm sorry for your pain, but you must help yourself by sealing things up so that you hear nothing about him for this time.

You can block him on FB so that it's impossible to see anything he posts. Go for it. Even I, the techno-dolt, have done it to people.

tl

Please delete facebook. I wrote a post on putting parental controls on your computer so you cannot make a dummy account later in the Plan B thread. Also, delete any other social media you may have that would link to him (twitter, instagram, etc). Also, if you need to block him and the OW as search terms in google. I actually have multiple blockers including blocklist, simple blocker, and stay focused (because they do different things) that are password protected by other people. Use Chrome instead of internet explorer, safari or mozilla if you can (chrome has the most blocking extensions). In fact, uninstall those other browers if you can. You can also download parental controls for your smart phone as well and have OTHERS password protect it.

He is projecting happiness and roses as many people do on facebook. This is even a known phenomenon. He has an added incentive to do this to make you even more miserable. Don't believe it and don't be miserable. Just block the temptation outright.

I had a heck of a time because my STBx and OW are social media junkies. I just decided I wasn't going to be even more miserable on their account and took away the temptation altogether. It is hard because social media is already designed to be addictive and then you have the urge to check up on him on top of it all.

Also, don't worry about the dumped friends. They will not matter to you in 6 months. They are more worried about their relationships with your WH than your family. Therefore, they should be dumped anyway.

Thank you!! That rally helped me a lot! And you're so right. I will deactivate my fb, delete the apps for it and IG. I need to stay strong, I need to stick to my guns. I started feeling thay this was my fault, maybe I shouldn't have refused him sex while were together, but I am remembered i didn't walk out, or cheat. He did

I am just going to deactivate my fb and all social media. I don't want to accidentally see pictures from nights out, or anything

I would recommend deleting facebook altogether. It's too easy to get back on in a moment of weakness.

I work off of social media so to delete it would be to cut off my source of income. I have enough to stay afloat for a month but I would have to get back on eventually.

Blocking and unfriending joint contacts can work well.

You've changed your phone and email details too right?

What would you do if he sent you a letter or showed up at your job? You need plans to block any and all means of contact.

I feel like there is no more hope. I feel like I messed up. By talking to people who didn't have my best interest at heart. Now I feel my whole marriage is gone. How can I help myself get over this pain? My husband is already out talking to different women, someone told me to check to see if we were still married. It was an old fling of his. She messaged me to check before we wrote back. I feel like I am loosing myself.

This is why you should change your phone number and email.

And get rid of social media.

He was already seeing women. Nothing has changed.

Please, stop torturing your self.

What are you doing to take care of you? Massages, nights out with friends, etc.

I highly recommend you read Indiegirl's initial thread, "Independent Behavior Nightmare.." start about halfway through to see how to Plan B.

Start here ...
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2516378&page=74

You're so right. I just had a few hours with a girl friend, and I feel better. I need to do more of that.

Wonderful! You should take great care of yourself; that's what Plan B is for!

Who did you expose to on OW's side?