I also have VOR's going all the time now. Anything else I should do?

GOOD!! Now, this is the kind of post you should be making. Put aside your wife and focus 100% on protecting your CHILDREN!

She may be doing nothing because you don't have it medically documented.

You should have brought your son to the doctor as soon as you heard him coughing and realized it was because he was not taking his medicine.

My daughter had asthma and if we heard her coughing we immediately used her nebulizer and if she continued to cough she was brought to the doctor, sometimes hospital immediately.

You are not taking this seriously enough.

Wake up!!

The only way to take my son to the doctor is to pull him out of school in the middle of the day without my wife knowing... which I may have to do... If I get caught, she will start a physical fight with me to prevent me from taking him... the same way she would physically assault me if I tried to give him medicine at home.

Let me see what the school comes up with in regard to his coughing. The problem is that the symptoms are worse when he gets up in the morning when only me and my wife are around... so it's he said / she said. I still struggle to understand why she acts the way that she does...

In some conversations she will say to me... "you take a pill every time there is something wrong" "I don't want my kids growing up like that"... She is usually OK about antibiotics... but for allergies and asthma, she is against it. I think that one of the reasons is that she does not have allergies or asthma herself... so she does not empathize with the suffering (I do... so I can empathize with them)..

In general, my wife is not really able to have or show any real empathy which I think is part of her personality disorder. If I come home from work with a cold or something... she is horribly offended. I am lazy, I am in a bad mood, and I don't care about my family is how she typically perceives things if I am sick.

You need to set up a camera to capture these things.
You need to call the police when she physically assaults you.
You need to take your son to the doctor to document the fact that he is coughing and your WW won't let you give him medicine.

You need to find a way to make these things happen. No excuses.

You are joking, right? You have a responsibility to take your child to the doctor if he needs medical treatment. I would love to hear you tell a Texas judge you neglected your son's health because you feared your wife would whip your [censored]. That would not fly!!

It's true. My wife will hit me... then claim I hit her. She yells at me and claims I yell at her. Everything she does is projected back onto me. She will pull the children away from me by the arm and then claim that I abused the children by pulling their arm. I can only walk away from her when she gets violent. I just can't win... It is so hard to be a man getting abused by a woman because everyone assumes that I am the guilty one. I have played recordings of my wife raging at me for my attorney... but she will not use it. My wife claims that I abuse her by recording her. My wife has an affair... but my attorney says that I may lose custody of the kids because I told them about it. Everything is soo backwards.

Get a new attorney,call CPS. You need temp orders and get her to leave if this is what's going on. If my WW hit me, I would be doing what I can to kicker her out and get a restraining order.
Physical abusive is crossing the line. I can deal with emotional abuse, but physical abuse is dangerous.

Then you get a new attorney who can help you.

And you call the police each and every time she hits you.

Policemen wear body cameras and their recordings are treated as court admissible evidence of what happened in situations involving assault.

If you know a completely reasonable action such as pulling your kid out of school will cause your wife to assault you, I would spend $100 or so and do the same as the cops do. A camera like that is both small and easy to operate nowadays.

Your wife has a gun to your head in terms of the threat she is to you and your children. Her motivations (past hurt, your behavior, etc) are completely irrelevant until you do the actions needs to eliminate that threat. Nobody with a gun to their head sits around wondering whether the person pointing it at them had a bad day/week/year, bad childhood, etc.

She usually doesn't hit me very hard... it just sets a bad example for the children. I cannot call the police because she will just say that I hit her.. then I go to jail.

Only once, she really hurt me and split my lip. I was being a jerk and deserved it that time so I did not call. She will pull on the kids though.. .like tug of war. I don't wan the kids to get hurt or caught in between, so I just walk away.

She is a master at controlling me through physical threats and claiming abuse if I fight back.

tm, I don't have time to chat. If you can't or won't follow these suggestions, I'll spend my time helping people who will.

Call the police each and every time.

I have talked to the police... unless there is blood, broken bones etc.. they don't do anything.

What if I file a civil lawsuit requesting an injunction to give my son his medicine?

I suppose that would be a love buster???

You are the only one who is being backwards here. You should keep a VAR on you at all times and call the police when she hits you. Stop being silly and grow some balls!

yep, you are a bigger problem than her because you are an ENABLER. Stop enabling her and man up! GOOD GRIEF.

You are right... I feel like I created this monster by enabling this behavior over the years. Up until the time she left and I got 3rd party help... I didn't know. I was gas-lighted into thinking that I was the bad-guy, abuser, etc... I finally put my foot down when she had an affair and she went bazerk and the rest is history.

I think everyone is afraid of her though... I never knew I married a woman that could instill so much fear in people. She was so nice and sweet when I met her... I thought she was a saint.

I do think I need a good lawyer that can play hard ball with her, take some calculated risks and put her on the defensive. My current attorney played very calm, caught her on a few lies, but mostly played defense.

I am scared of her yes... I should be. She is a dangerous woman. She can easily have me put in Jail... she almost killed the entire family on the road... she crashed into my car twice when it was parked, she filed a false restraining order... of course I am scared of her. What is the next crazy thing she is going to do that will cost me $25,000 in legal fees, cause me property damage, or make me lose my job and health insurance.

Think of it this way... if try to get my son his inhaler lands me in jail, then what good am I too him? I will lose custody & more...

This is alot harder than you make it out to be.

I'm trying to maintain a full time job on top of all this and I am the only one that supports the family. It's not that easy to for me to play full time spy games at the same time.

I can wear a camera, but she will likely find it... I usually wear jeans and a tee shirt at home (& cowboy boots... and I have plenty of guns... see ML I am no yankee) but where can I hide a camera? The police have them yes.. but not hidden. Any ideas???

I'm 6 ft tall, 200 lbs... I ain't scare of anyone, but my wife terrifies me.

You list several things she did, you have enough to talk to your attorney about that are more than dangerous and scary. If she is that crazy, she will do more.

Get the guns out of the house immediately along with any other weapons! A crazed wayward will use weapons against you in a trumped up restraining order, saying you are unstable and capable of violence at anytime.(i experienced this myself)
Take them to a friend or rent a locker or something for safe keeping.

MAN UP!
Listen, I was also afraid of my wayward, i finally stood up to her. I didnt save my marriage, but i saved myself and my kids. I regained my dignity.

More excuses. If you spent this much effort on protecting your children you would be far ahead. You have a responsibility to get your child healthcare. You need to man up and do it.

Put a VAR in your pocket.