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Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 12
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Hjm77 Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 12
Ok...i will take the advice...read up and take action.

UA....got the abbrev now! :-)

Ok, i will read the link about advice given to other men and apply what's relevant..

Thanks to you all...

Will post again soon...


Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 12
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Hjm77 Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2015
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She is definitely in Withdrawal stage. Talks to me like an aquaintance. Finding UA time is going to be very difficult, as there is no one at all really to help look after our son. We are very isolated here so even hiring help is difficult and our home is not suitable to have hired help stay for even an evening (in the middle of trying to redecorate and improve the home). Am feeling very low this morning (not charactetistic of me) as the way she talks to me is like a stranger.The one time recently we did manage to find someone to look after our son for an evening, and my W and i did manage to go out, she was spiteful recalling the time we had there in a restaurant, saying there was nothing left to talk about and she was bored and why are we stuck in such a bad area to live.
I feel swamped by circumstances and how to move forwards and rejected completely by her.
My plan initially is to
-Try to find UA time and have some fun.
-Try to change our living circumstances ie. where we live so our son doesnt have to be home schooled and my W can work again if she wants to.
I think being treated like a stranger, and remembering the words of the last few outbursts from her about how there's nothing left, she never loved me, our sex life has always been a big problem from the start etc etc has cut deep waking up today. I feel so alone and like the mountain to climb is so big....



Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 12
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Hjm77 Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 12
Also i am going to ask the ohone company for all records on her mobile phone, as i set this up initially and pay the bill (it's in my name). She doesnt use a laptop, only her phone for everything. I did snoop her phone regularly and it caused bug arguements. She says that's why she has put a password on it to stop me looking. So i cant open the contents of any of her android phone. Also i do know she has been using an app recently called 'Telegram' which specifically deletes messages sent and is encrypted for privacy.
Not sure how to find content of any messages if there are any. I think concentrating on UA at the same time and trying to meet her emotional needs is the only thing i can do if the phone records show nothing. I have to drown this 'distraction' out and win her back.

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433
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Joined: Aug 2011
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Her putting a password on her phone simply screams "affair".

Most cell phone service providers have online phone records that can be accessed with a web browser. You should go to the company's website and try to set this up.

It is important for you to realize that an emotional long-distance affair is just as destructive to marriage as an intimate physical one. There is no comfort to be had in the fact that they only correspond. Affairs are fantasy, and the fantasy can thrive with each communication. You need to get to the bottom of this, then expose and destroy the fantasy. All the while, you have to maintain a front with her that shows you to be the best husband ever - capable and willing to meet her emotional needs far better than any affair partner ever could.


me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
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