YOU'RE A DISRESPECTFUL JERK TO YOUR WIFE.
You could change that, if you would listen to those posting to you instead of argue.

Here is his show apples123.

I thought so but there are so many details that TM isn't discussing here I had to check.

Yes, I hear you there.

She should feel that way . he hasn't done anything to show her he cares.

His "my way is the only way" approach to marriage is coming back to bite him in the butt.

I also understand now why your legal position is so weak considering the things your wife did.

You are controlling and abusive. You cut this woman off from all support other than you then tried to convince her she was crazy. Its like you read a manual on how to gain control over your spouse.

If my sister's husband treated her the way you treat your wife, I would be on a plane to move her and her kids in with me tonight.

With regard to her complaints, the move is probably her biggest obstacle. Are you addressing this?

It's the oposite... one thing that was wrong on Dr Harleys show...she did not go run to her mom's house... she rented an apartment 2 hours away from her mom and less than 1 mile from the OM.




In terms of controlling and abusive...what are you talking about. My wife always does what she wants to do whether I like it or not. She traveled by herself and had an affair... multiple times. I completely trusted her. Please let me know what you are talking about.

Also... what do you mean "cut her off" .. did you listen to the show... she was free to use facebook, the phone, and traval all she wanted... she had my 100% trust. This was my mistake I now know. I do not live near my family either...so what? We did not live near family before we moved either.

Yes... we talked about moving... there is a place we mutually agreed to move... now she does not want to move...it's really weird

Yes.. I me asking my wife if she had a "plan" was disrespectful. I stopped doing that. Last night we talked and I simply said that I simply was not going to make assumptions about what she was going to do or what would make her happy but if she wanted to tell me.. I am simply here to listen and help her.


What is weird here as Dr Harley has said, women usually have a plan for divorce long before they actually do it... but, in this case, there seems to be no plan.

This makes me suspicious of some possibilities. ..
Does she plan to take the kids and run again?
Is the other man waiting in the wings to move down here with her once we get the divorce done?
What could she be up to?

Also, I don't think my wife would complain that I try to make her feel "crazy".... that has never ever come up. I have never ever talked to her in any way about any kind of mental problem. When conversation comes up that approaches anything about her erratic behavior.. I just change the subject or pretend it didn't happen.

My therapist who has spent time with both of us says that my wife does not act like an abused woman in any way.

Anyway.. I am really trying. I asked her out on a date twice yesterday... she did not say no, it's just hard to find any time to schedule it. I keep asking though.

I just wanted to post something about plan A....

I have been in plan a for almost a year now. The main thing I have changed was to meet her top emotional needs. I eliminated demands and anger. I still struggle with DJ'S obviously. .. but, if you talk to her, these are her biggest complaints...

She wants 100% of my paycheck
I filed divorce on her so that has been hanging over her head


By the way...we went out last night. She said that she has a lot of fun. She talked our first date... we laughed at our kids together. I am a fun guy for her to be out with... and we have a fun family dynamic. She has been more affectionate towards me... we've hugged. It's just weird though...like I am waiting for her to turn on me.

Keep doing that! Good job.

Generally in Plan A, you don't talk about divorce.

Cut-off = no job, no family, no friends, 1000+ miles from home.

Perhaps someone who has done Plan A could advise you about what you should do about the divorce. Or you could write Dr. Harley. I don't feel qualified to tell you if you should end that. Though you could always refile later.

Individual counselors can be very harmful to marriage. Be careful with that.

I encourage you to read some of Prisca's and Markos's threads, old and new. Their situation was once similar to yours but they have turned it around. I've learned a lot from them.

No family, no friends... I am in the same boat as her on that one.

No job... I know there is that dynamic of being a stay at home mom. Staying at home was her "dream", and by working hard, I made that dream a reality for her. I also have us in a very affluent area with lots of other stay at home moms... she met several other moms through the kids. There were play dates, mom's day outs, and she had met many other friends and moms. She did not open up to them much though.

Personally, her lifestyle, staying at home is not something I could do. It would drive me crazy... I need to get out of the house. It made her happy though.

A couple years ago, I encouraged her to get back in the workforce... she really didn't want to...

You also reneged on your commitment to move back home if she wasn't happy.

As far as the being in the same boat, you aren't because you were the one who talked her in to moving so you could have the job you wanted. You said so in your show.

ETA; You also misrepresented her leaving when you first started posting. You never mentioned that the place she moved is the place YOU HAD PROMISED to return her to if she was unhappy. The area you used to live, the place she considers home. You made it sound like you were completely surprised and she only did it to be near the OM. But that isn't the truth.

Have you relistened to your show yet? Listen to the things you say. I told her...it wasn't a good time until 3 years...I only submitted resumes locally (aka the place my wife wants to leave.)