Then you are wasting our time. Please let us know when you are interested in following Marriage Builders.

An angry outburst is temporary insanity. When you are angry everything you are thinking of doing or saying is irrational and is going to make your problem worse.

Not only that but this is abusive behavior and we don't condone marital abuse here no matter what the spouse has done.


That's great you should never let her walk all over you, but the choices are not "either I let her walk all over me or I have an angry outburst."

If you don't want her to walk all over you, try Plan A or Plan B. If you can't Plan A without having angry outbursts then you need to either get on antidepressants or go to Plan B.

I was thinking about suggesting this but I felt like I am not experienced enough to make a remark like this.

But from what I have learned, ANY angry outburst at all drives your spouse into the OM and makes OM look like a prince.

Have you read what the Bible says about anger?

A marriage cannot be recovered when a husband has angry outbursts and is proud of it. It is impossible.

And we need to reinforce that you are not doing Plan A here. Plan A is not a way of life for conflict avoiders.

Learn what Marriage Builders says to do about problems in your marriage instead of having an angry outburst. You don't because you aren't becoming educated about Marriage Builders. You are just practicing conflict avoidance and calling it Marriage Builders. You are just engaging your Giver and shutting down your Taker until your Taker can't be silenced anymore, and that is the opposite of Plan A. Plan A brings both your Giver and your Taker into play.

What you are doing is not Plan A, so don't expect it to work.

Okay, we have commented. Are you going to do differently?

If not, I think we need to ask you to hit the road here so as not to be a distraction and a discouragement to those who want to use the Marriage Builders plans.

Ok, I get all the comments, but on the show Joyce said that one problem is that I did not show enough emotion... and I should show more emotion about her killing our marriage. I also have gotten feedback that I am a too passive about enabling her marriage wrecking behavior. So, I stood up for our marriage and set a limit to what I will tolerate. What should I have done?

Also, she is pushing for divorce.... and I am getting over stressed by the constant lies and abuse from her. I think I am ready for plan B.

That still doesn't mean have angry outbursts. Everything I said above is true. When you are having an angry outburst you are temporarily insane.


Learn what Marriage Builders says to do about problems in your marriage besides having an angry outburst. Don't make us spoonfeed you; get educated.

If you go to Plan B your marriage will most likely end in divorce, which is fine if that is what you want.

If you cannot prevent yourself from having angry outbursts, then you do need to go to Plan B.

Joyce did not tell you to have an Angry Outburst.


You did not stand up for your marriage. You abused your wife.

Right, what you did was blow holes in a sinking boat. That's not "standing up for your marriage" or "setting a limit," but that is the kind of irrational things you tell yourself when you're having an angry outburst.

You didn't stand up for your marriage. You demanded that she stop watching a show you didnt want to watch. When she didn't comply, you made it impossible to watch
anything.

Here are my questions:

How do I not let her walk all over me or set a limit without it being an "angry outburst"?

I was thinking of Dr Harley's advice on Exposure... Exposure is a huge love buster, but it is standing up for your marriage.. .so I figured that not tolerating this marriage killing behavior... watching immoral content on Divorce deserves me showing some emotions.

Showing emotion is intended to show her that I do care about our marriage. I'm not showing emotion because the house is a mess, I'm showing emotion because she is destroying our marriage and that was exactly what I thought Dr. Harley and Joyce wanted me to do.

If I had sat down and watched it with her, I would be capitulating and enabling.

If I simply said I disagreed and walked away... I get accused of an angry outburst just for walking away..

She is killing our marriage.. why not show some emotion about it?

When we are talking about AO's, we are really talking about love busters.. so, I don't know if showing emotion in this way was a love buster or not... she may have actually appreciated my emotion on this and showing her that I care about our marriage.

She actually did not seem upset with me at all after this.

Learn what Marriage Builders says to do about problems in your marriage besides having an angry outburst. Don't make us spoonfeed you; get educated. If you want to save your marriage this is not going to work if your version of learning marriage builders is just asking questions on the forum. That is why I tell you to not make us spoonfeed you. You have got to get after it and learn Marriage Builders so you can do Marriage Builders, if you want to save your marriage.

You are wasting our time debating the merits of AOs. Dr. Harley does not tolerate them, and would never have told you to have one.

Let us know when you want to do Marriage Builders.

But he's not even doing that. He'd DEBATING Marriage Builders concepts instead of picking up a book and learning what Dr. Harley says about AOs.

You've been here long enough that you should know what Dr. Harley says about AOs, typicalman. We're not here to debate it with you.