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Truck is a 2004 and we owe more than it's worth to sell. It would be a loss on MY dime.
Yes I have an atty and I asked him the risk and ramifications to exposure to work and he said NO.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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I meant for financial issues, not to ask about exposure.
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Yes. I have an atty guiding my steps to protect me and my assets.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Me exposing to his job opens me up to other ramifications regarding my job and is unwise at this time. What I have done exposing to friends and family and FB is just going to have to be sufficient. But boy do I wish...sigh.
If his coworkers spread it around as I suspect they are....and it gets back to management...so be it.
I agree with the exposure tactics and followed em the best I can given my specific set of parameters.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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I just wish there was a magic eight ball that could tell me how long after exposure the affair implodes! Wouldn't that be great!
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Yes I have an atty and I asked him the risk and ramifications to exposure to work and he said NO. My attorney was mad too after I exposed. They will all tell you NO. That's because its easier for them. They are giving you legal advice. My WW filed a TRO violation/harassment case after my exposure at her company. Once my atty saw the TRO violation he actually said to me, "You were trying to save your marriage right? Well looks like your plan is not working." I just wish there was a magic eight ball that could tell me how long after exposure the affair implodes! Wouldn't that be great! This relationship would end much faster if you just told even one person at their job... especially a person in authority. But if the truck payment is more important, or you think your other exposure is sufficient, I suppose you could skip work exposure. In my situation, I could have literally exposed to every single person in the world, but it was not until I exposed at her workplace did I really "hit the mark."
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Truck is a 2004 and we owe more than it's worth to sell. It would be a loss on MY dime.
Yes I have an atty and I asked him the risk and ramifications to exposure to work and he said NO. That is because an attorney will always tell you no, but that is bad advice, by keeping their secret at work, you enable the affair at your own expense. What gives you the impression that your H will continue to pay your bills?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The exposure I did WAS to their friends list at WORK! Also his mom...pastors...my family...but...I was unable to find HER family on her friends list..WAH..nor can I use my work...violation...buuuut...the exposure was to lots of work people who are now sharing with other coworkers as office gossip usually goes
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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He wants the truck...or he will have no car to drive. He has for it as part of the divorce. He's also been driving it since our separation in Feb 2015 and paying it. But since the divorce is filed the assets can't be messed with so he would still need to continue paying or get in trouble with the courts.
I exposed to dozens of their coworkers and undoubtedly they will be gossiping and spreading it further.
My atty only suggested not to expose to their HR because it opens my job up for problems in open court and that would be bad. I need my job much more than he needs his so I need to protect it.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Melody I know what you are saying and I have exposed as far and wide as I could. I have to stop there. His job could not even pay a quarter of my bills should I lose my job over him and OW. I can only expose so far without putting me in jeopardy. I agree with you to expose to work...but my job is a bit more sensitive than I'm willing to share any further on an open forum.
Last edited by Alwayslookingup; 01/14/16 05:19 PM.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Posts: 428
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Im particularly frustrated with the NC rule I've been following. Feels like its just giving WH the time to keep the affair going with no interference. It feels foreign not trying. I know I need to stay dark...but its counter intuitive for sure.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Posts: 1,842
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It is which is why most people give the wrong and opposing advice. This protects you, which is the main reason for it; but it also forces his OW to meet ALL his needs, which she can't do.
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Well apparently she's doing just fine. WH has no intention of coming back even if she leaves him he said.
Last edited by Alwayslookingup; 01/14/16 05:50 PM.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Patience is not my virtue. I'm just having a tough time. Not only the initial shock of D day but his choice in OW who can only be described physically as hideous. Just so shocking.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Posts: 339
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Patience is not my virtue. I'm just having a tough time. Not only the initial shock of D day but his choice in OW who can only be described physically as hideous. Just so shocking. I hear you one that one... While it is probable that the OM in my situation makes more money than me - he is scum of the Earth. He is not attractive (in my hetero eyes). Every picture I have seen of him disgusts me... and he likes Norte Dame, GROSS. People affair down... me and you are experiencing that unfortunately.  Keep your head up, it sounds like your exposure was good. Like you, patience is not my strongest feature... so, do not be patient. Start being a new you as soon as possible. I know its tough... some days I feel like I have done nothing different with my life, but others I feel like I did good. Praying for you Alwayslookingup
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Wrestling. I'm not racist. Let me just say that right up front. But...my WS and I are white. The OW is dark black. She looks very worn and very hood. I can describe her no other way. She is no Halle Berry. She looks rode hard and put away wet. She looks like a woman who has seen a hard life...like a gang banger. Tattoos all over. Just suuuuper unattractive. I had no idea my husband was attracted to other cultures. I know the affair is not about color...its just so utterly shocking.
Last edited by Alwayslookingup; 01/14/16 06:28 PM.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Posts: 428
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I feel bad even saying those things about her. But I can't help feeling disgusted by every aspect of this situation including her appearance. It's nauseating.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Im particularly frustrated with the NC rule I've been following. Feels like its just giving WH the time to keep the affair going with no interference. It feels foreign not trying. I know I need to stay dark...but its counter intuitive for sure. Have you read SAA?? Women "chasing" men doesn't make the woman look attractive and men don't like that. It is different for men. Have you listened to MB radio?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 428
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What is SAA and no I have not listened to the radio.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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