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No. It was our old joint acct. I have not closed it yet but he took himself off of it when he filed for divorce.
I'm not sure why he's playing games now. The truck is in my name only or I wouldn't care. But he drives it and wants it as part of the divorce so why he's being a jerk now befuddles me.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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BTW....he has always paid it since we separated...so to start acting this way now is odd. I guess I was thinking it was retaliation to last weekends exposure letter to their friends and coworkers...but it could be that he's now struggling financially...it could be a way to stay connected...it could be anything really...I just don't get it.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Sooooooo last Sunday was friends exposure of WH and OW. Fast forward to today. I still have not received the truck and insurance payment. I emailed him and asked if had sent it. His response...."I want proof you're paying truck and insurance payments"
WTH?
Really? The only money he gives me is the truck pymt that is solely in MY name...yes I pay it! Hello....what is this all about? Some sort of retribution for last weekends exposure? Plus the pastor texted me and said he didn't go to his Celebrate Recovery meeting last night. Wondering if all this is related to the exposure or just him being a pill. So you're still not going to get an IM?? You're not following Plan B and you broke Plan B and you got his nasty message and now you're spinning. When will you start following MB?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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BTW....he has always paid it since we separated...so to start acting this way now is odd. I guess I was thinking it was retaliation to last weekends exposure letter to their friends and coworkers...but it could be that he's now struggling financially...it could be a way to stay connected...it could be anything really...I just don't get it. Nope this is typical wayward behaviour. You need to talk to your lawyer and get the finances separated. If he wants the truck then he needs to get it into his name. You're still enabling him.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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The truck is the only asset he wants from the marriage. It just happens to be in my name.
Yes...I need an IM...I was thinking if he made this months pymt without a reminder or an IM which would be the only contact necessary...then I wouldn't need the IM. But you're right...I need the IM. This is just ridiculous .
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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All other finances are separated...nothing is joint.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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The truck is the only asset he wants from the marriage. It just happens to be in my name.
Yes...I need an IM...I was thinking if he made this months pymt without a reminder or an IM which would be the only contact necessary...then I wouldn't need the IM. But you're right...I need the IM. This is just ridiculous . Having this truck is away to keep in contact. You'll never heal or get over the anger when you're still in contact with him. Every contact you have puts you back to square one. Your WH isn't close for recovery at all, and you need to protect yourself. I know you want to save the marriage, but I'm sorry but your WH doesn't. Wild horses couldn't keep a spouse back from a truly repentant/remorseful spouse doing what it takes to recover. When will you be getting that IM? When will you speak to your lawyer about the truck?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I'll call the atty on Tuesday...ill get the IM today if I can find someone who is willing.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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I'll call the atty on Tuesday...ill get the IM today if I can find someone who is willing. Good girl. All your IM needs to do is act as a filter and not send any "wayward talk" your way. Send your IM the IM training link. It's in the How to Plan B correctly link. You have that, correct?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 428
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No I don't have that link. Can you paste it here please?
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Here you go and the IM training link is in this thread, it's the second post. How to Plan B Correctly
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 428
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I'm frustrated in the waiting. I keep busy...do stuff to stay focused on other things...but this whole affair is never far from my mind and I hate that.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Posts: 428
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My WH keeps sending me emails. I try not to respond. There is no mention of OW...but it still hurts to see the vitriolic crap ramblings to how he just can't come back to me...uhmmmmmm okkkkk. Ugh.
I have no takers on anyone wanting to be an IM. The people that know want to stay neutral. Which I can understand as everyone is still praying for reconciliation.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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My WH keeps sending me emails. I try not to respond. There is no mention of OW...but it still hurts to see the vitriolic crap ramblings to how he just can't come back to me...uhmmmmmm okkkkk. Ugh.
I have no takers on anyone wanting to be an IM. The people that know want to stay neutral. Which I can understand as everyone is still praying for reconciliation. This is why you need to change your contact information. They want to stay neutral, but they don't want to help you avoid his abuse? Have you explained Plan B to them?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 428
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Well it doesn't matter. I just got another email from WH saying that he's done...that if we weren't done he'd never have started another relationship...that even if there wasn't the OW we would still be divorced...see you in court.
Sigh. Blows my hope into teeeny tiny pieces.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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It's fog talk, it's the same script for all of them! DOn't listen to it, or be affected by it.
This is why when you are in Plan B, you're better off (emotionally speaking), NOT talking to or seeing your WS.
My BFF was willing to pray me through it, she was totally on my side. That said, however, she loves us both, and would have willingly been my IM, if I had needed one....once I found these concepts and let her know I was working to restore my M.
Once I was BW. Now happily RE-married!
I was there. It's painful. It's hard.
But it's totally doable and worth it.
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I am just in tears. I know it may be fog talk but it's the same script he keeps running. He says he's not trying to be mean and hateful just factual. It hurts so bad. I've been on my knees in prayer since D day. While I've seen some answers to prayer...the softening of WH heart is not one of them. He has no intention of coming back. And I hurt.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Right, he just feels the need to state"facts" over and over in the most brutal way possible.
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God will not take his free will. So if I go off his words as if they are fact...we will be divorced in 3mo.
It just hurts right now. So definitive...so real...so final.
BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Posts: 50
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I am just in tears. I know it may be fog talk but it's the same script he keeps running. He says he's not trying to be mean and hateful just factual. It hurts so bad. I've been on my knees in prayer since D day. While I've seen some answers to prayer...the softening of WH heart is not one of them. He has no intention of coming back. And I hurt. I know, hun. I wish I could just reach through the computer and give you a big hug! YOu deserve it! I am praying for you....this is not easy. You need to stay close to God. None of us can get through this alone. I know I never would have survived this (mentally, emotionally OR spiritually) without God holding onto me! God Bless,
Once I was BW. Now happily RE-married!
I was there. It's painful. It's hard.
But it's totally doable and worth it.
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