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They didnt cause trouble.
You didnt cause trouble.
HE DID THIS TO HIMSELF. KNOWING THE CONSEQUENCES, HE STILL CHOSE AN ILLEGAL COURSE OF ACTION.
You are protecting US because service members screwing around are a serious danger.
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Call a locksmith. Have the locks changed tonight.
If he shows up, dont answer, just call 911. Tell them your H is threatening you, has hit you in the past.
Dont rattle on with the police. Just tell he hit you before and is threatening you.
Do not open the door to him. Call tomorrow first thing for an urgent consult with divorce attorney. If you dont know who to call, call the local women shelter. They will have resources. If you dont have a place to stay, go to a shelter.
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STOP these thoughts. You are being "gaslight". Check out the definition, thread and movie about gaslighting. All of this that he's told you is extremely unlikely. My husband was a Colonel, had a six month affair with a Sergeant. He still retired (my requirement), she remained in the service. Both were punished; none of the punishment caused either of them to get "kicked out".
AM I feel so horrible. I think when you are at a higher rank, it is much harder to discharge you because you have a lot of responsibilities. He is not, so it will be very easy to discharge him. If you do not mind telling me AM, what was the punishment they faced? Not true. My H was relieved from his job. The lower ranking OW remained in her job. Both received a monetary fine. How many times a day are you talking to your husband? AM
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Not true. My H was relieved from his job. The lower ranking OW remained in her job. Both received a monetary fine.
How many times a day are you talking to your husband?
AM Today - several times. Otherwise, once every 3-4days in the past 2 weeks. I am sure he will be coming tomorrow. Did you report your husband? How did he react, if you did?
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[
Today - several times. Otherwise, once every 3-4days in the past 2 weeks. I am sure he will be coming tomorrow. Did you report your husband? How did he react, if you did? needinput, I am sure he reacted just like your husband. That is how EVERY wayward reacts when they are exposed. Surely you did not expect otherwise? I don't know why you are surprised about this? What on earth were you expecting??
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do not open the door to him. Call tomorrow first thing for an urgent consult with divorce attorney. If you dont know who to call, call the local women shelter. They will have resources. If you dont have a place to stay, go to a shelter. Thanks. I just called a shelter - I got some really good info from them. Now, I am not worried that much if I need a place to stay.
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needinput, I am sure he reacted just like your husband. That is how EVERY wayward reacts when they are exposed. Surely you did not expect otherwise?
I don't know why you are surprised about this? What on earth were you expecting?? Melody, you are right. I just feel that being reported in the military is something very serious, I think much serious compared to being reported in a civilian job. My husband told me I should have let him know in advance that I would be calling the IG before calling. He said "I told you that I will be filing for divorce, didn't I? I tell you my plans so you are aware of what I would be doing."
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needinput, I am sure he reacted just like your husband. That is how EVERY wayward reacts when they are exposed. Surely you did not expect otherwise?
I don't know why you are surprised about this? What on earth were you expecting?? Melody, you are right. I just feel that being reported in the military is something very serious, I think much serious compared to being reported in a civilian job. My husband told me I should have let him know in advance that I would be calling the IG before calling. He said "I told you that I will be filing for divorce, didn't I? I tell you my plans so you are aware of what I would be doing." Your husband is reacting just like every other wayward. He is furious. There is nothing new here. And yes, it is very serious to commit adultery when you are in the military. I am sorry your husband chose to wreck his career in this way. And how silly it would be for you to forewarn your husband that you were going to report him. Then he could beat you to the IG and tell him you are an angry lunatic. Your husband has a lot of nerve lecturing you on what you "should do." He is no position to lecture anyone. He should not have committed adultery.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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So glad to see you posting, Armymama!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I don't think all this is going to stop my husband's affair. I am getting depressed now. While I was talking to him, she was calling him on a messenger. He has told her that I have called the military. I hope she realizes she has contributed to this mess and I am sure she would continue to contact him because that is her ticket to the US. It pisses me off.
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So proud of you for finding the courage to expose this and get help from his superiors. Also happy to see you contacted a shelter for a backup plan. You will get thru this!
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I don't think his superiors will do anything about this affair.
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I don't think his superiors will do anything about this affair. Maybe not - but it stresses the affair partners out so much that the affair itself dies anyways. You are not going to get quick results. Like I said, my wife's affair has been going on nearly six months now and from what I know its no closer to ending than when it first began... but I am kind of in the dark a little bit on my wife's case.
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I don't think his superiors will do anything about this affair. Push them for a no contact order. It should be simple since he is in US and she in Korea. Then, if he is caught communicating with her, he will open himself up to more trouble.
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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So glad to see you posting, Armymama!! Thanks. I read rather often, but don't post much. You all have been giving such expert advice, anything I might add would be superfluous. Hugs back at you!
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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I don't think his superiors will do anything about this affair. They typically extend a no contact order and that is what you should push them for. Have you heard back from them today? Did you tell the commander about his threats?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I don't think his superiors will do anything about this affair. Push them for a no contact order. It should be simple since he is in US and she in Korea. Then, if he is caught communicating with her, he will open himself up to more trouble. His 1st Sgt. told me that my husband has said that he has not been and is not currently involved in an affair and that he is even eager to come see me. Yeah right, he is eager to come here to start the divorce process. His Sgt. released him after a 15 min meeting.
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I don't think his superiors will do anything about this affair. They typically extend a no contact order and that is what you should push them for. Have you heard back from them today? Did you tell the commander about his threats? No, no contact order is usually issued in the case of me and my husband in case he becomes violent and I fear for my safety. I was told they will do investigation regarding the affair - I told them everyone in the unit knows and nothing was done about it. I did not say anything about the threats. I need to find out some info and will probably be doing this next week. I am too exhausted from all this drama. I need a break.
Last edited by needinput; 02/26/16 04:49 PM.
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