I will ask again. I asked before but they have said anything to him. He was so scared before this meeting and now he is happy. Again, started to treat me disgusting (gas-lighting me).

They cannot catch him communicating with her. They would have to monitor his phone or email. They won't do that. Apparently, everyone knows and no one says anything about it.

I can only imagine how much it stressed him out, even I could not sleep or function the day before and during the meeting.

And did oyu disabuse him of this notion and tell him the truth? Did you tell him that your H was in touch with his adultery partner just yesterday? I don't understand why you aren't helping yourself out here.

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The no contact order to which I am referring is issued for the affair partners. Was that done?

I just talked to my husband. He now tells me there is no affair partner. In fact, he said that he made up the AP because it would be easier for him to end our relationship. I reminded him that I have seen her picture and some of her messages on his phone and he cannot tell me that she never existed. I am starting to think that he is making things up in his mind or distorting and mixing both his fantasy world and the reality. He is believing his own lies. May be coming out of the fog.

After reminding him that I have seen her texts and she still exists, he repeated that he is not in an affair. So I asked him if she did something wrong or she just pulled back after finding out last night that I have called his command. Either this is a play or it could be true, not sure. He refuses to tell me anything. Two days ago he claimed to love her and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He was telling me that it would be about 1.5 years until he could possibly see her.

Today, he said he feels empty inside and that he gave everything from himself and now he wants to be a single man. He does not want to be involved in any relationship with anyone. He listed all my negative traits (I and the AP are exact opposites of each other) - said that I am too authoritative and too independent and type A personality, I have been in school all these years, I wok too much, we have no kids, he does not love me anymore, is not attracted to me, is tired of the life we have been living together for all these years, he wants a different life. He said he will be divorcing me for sure sooner or later and I complicate things for him financially if he continues to be married to me.

No, I am exhausted. I need a break from all this.

Not done. I asked for it but not done.

Typical FOG talk. All Waywards use the same script. It's like there's a manual out there that they all stumble upon. Waywards can't be trusted while in the fog.

You need to go into Plan B and stop talking to him. What is exhausting you is talking to this lying falling down drunk. Do you understand how Plan B works?

Apparently not becuase you continue to do completely unproductive things like talk to your lying, fogged out husband. You should ask the Commander to issue a no contact order like they typically do.

So you still think he is in an affair? I am starting to believe that she probably pulled back. The reason I am saying this is because two days ago he was telling me that he is very happy. Also, in the past he would always say he loves another woman and wants to be with her. He seemed to be really upset today. Now, he claims not to be in an affair. So I really think something happened. He told me he does not trust anyone anymore and that he thinks I have a recorder on my phone and told me he will tell me everything in person.

hmmmmm now why would a lying liar tell you lies about his affair? Who has the greatest reason here to LIE?

I don't believe for a minute you are that naive. If you believe that then you are clearly in denial.

He has had 2 days to gaslight you and it is working. I can tell he has a history of feeding you nonsense and you have a history of accepting the most ridiculous lies. This is part of the problem.

No, before the affair he has not lied. I am not sure in what sense you mention "history" here.

So you still think he is in an affair? I am starting to believe that she probably pulled back. The reason I am saying this is because two days ago he was telling me that he is very happy. Also, in the past he would always say he loves another woman and wants to be with her for the rest of his life. He seemed to be really upset today. Now, he claims not to be in an affair. So I really think something happened. He told me he does not trust anyone anymore and that he thinks I have a recorder on my phone and told me he will tell me everything in person. I don't know what to believe anymore. I could be in a denial, as you mentioned Melody.

You are foggier than him if you believe that. And are clearly in denial. He has changed his story because he doesn't want to get in trouble of course.

What has happened is that you busted him and he knows he will get in trouble.

Yes, he is still in an affair! If she has cooled things down, it's because she found a better target in Korea. You said it yourself that he thinks you are recording him. So, of course, he will not admit to an affair.

Have you read/learned about Plan B? Go into Plan B ASAP.

Persist with the command. Tell them you want no contact between H and sleazy OW.

AM

Of course he has a history of lying. He lied to the military just yesterday.

Did you read the link about gaslighting? Pretty typical wayward behavior from your husband.