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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
I was nothing but loyal to WH..even on here as people here thought he might be worth letting go...I still was loyal. I believed in him. I tolerated all the wayward babble...the fog crap...all of it. But this did me in. Group texting and emailing anyone and everyone...making threats...exposing personal private family matters to non essential people...all in an effort to make me stop meddling in his life...was a new low. Truth is...I still don't know what I did to set him off...he was gonna get his divorce regardless of any exposure. So it was pure evil and vengeful hate. My parents have not spoken to me in two days now...and my loyalty to him just died. Funny thing is...it makes no sense why HE is hanging on like this. Revenge? Hate? Self loathing? Guilt? Whatever it is its of his own making and he just tried to take everyone down on his sinking ship. What a rat [censored].


He is a drug addict. Nothing matters to him except his next fix. Stop trying to understand, this will drive you insane.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
living_well #2877207 03/02/16 07:11 AM
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He hasn't used in nearly 6yrs...but honestly...I wonder now...because Monday's mass texting and emailing people was all characterized as insane...rampage...off his rocker...on the war path...extreme anger...uhmmm...just to name a few.

I know that A's are an addiction but I seriously wonder if Monday he fell off the wagon.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
He hasn't used in nearly 6yrs...but honestly...I wonder now...because Monday's mass texting and emailing people was all characterized as insane...rampage...off his rocker...on the war path...extreme anger...uhmmm...just to name a few.

I know that A's are an addiction but I seriously wonder if Monday he fell off the wagon.

Stop obsessing over him and go back to Plan B. You are only hurting yourself.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
Oh and the common theme throughout all these peoples recounting of his messages....was WH did nothing wrong...not the A...not the DV...no marital arguments...nothing....the ONLY thing WH took responsibility for was his mistake in marrying me...that he regrets ever meeting me. Even now...he is unable to see his part and be accountable.


My WW told me the samething her biggest regret was marrying me. And has been unhappy during the whole marrage. I write it up as the fog talking and yes it hurts I just let it go.


BH 34
D-Day- 6/2015
Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
Plan A+Exposure

Ron_C #2877384 03/03/16 08:00 AM
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Today is court and I'm reall really nervous.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Good luck AlwaysLookingUp - praying for you

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So...court got extended til June. WH did not refinance the truck. So now he has til June to get it done.

Kicker...WH asks me if we can be friends and that I'm a good person. That since we should've never been married to begin with...we should've only been friends....he would be willing to still keep in contact as friends. This right after he told my folks on Monday that they raised a devil. WTH?

In my mind...that was nothing more than a back door approach to feeling ok about the divorce...getting my buy in as just friends. Uhmmmmm...no. I told him that I married for love and life and took my vows seriously...even tho he didn't. His response was oh ok....like really what did he expect me to say?


Last edited by Alwayslookingup; 03/03/16 10:52 PM.

BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 50
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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
So...court got extended til June. WH did not refinance the truck. So now he has til June to get it done.

Kicker...WH asks me if we can be friends and that I'm a good person. That since we should've never been married to begin with...we should've only been friends....he would be willing to still keep in contact as friends. This right after he told my folks on Monday that they raised a devil. WTH?

In my mind...that was nothing more than a back door approach to feeling ok about the divorce...getting my buy in as just friends. Uhmmmmm...no. I told him that I married for love and life and took my vows seriously...even tho he didn't. His response was oh ok....like really what did he expect me to say?

Get over it, get on with it.

You need to "go dark" again. NO contact.

He really does sound like a drug addict that is using to me. First crazy, frenzied, then calm and "normal." C'mon, girl, think! This is not what you need. You've got to get your family to support you and just let his rantings roll off their backs (if they can't stop him from reaching them).

In the meantime, figure out what you're going to do about that truck. It sounds like this will be DRAMA that will keep you sucked into his world until June if you don't do something. You don't need that now. He's spinning out of control, and YOU need to remove yourself from it.


Once I was BW. Now happily RE-married!
I was there. It's painful. It's hard.
But it's totally doable and worth it.
OlderWiser #2877556 03/04/16 05:21 PM
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Oh I know....his let's be friends was at court.

And I'm working like mad to get my car refi'd so he can get the truck in his name.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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He wants to be friends after Mondays tirade? Yup sounds like he he is using again.

Are you back in a dark Plan B now?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2877594 03/04/16 11:48 PM
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Yes I am back to NC. I ended up trading my car in for a new one. The title was in both our names as and/or so I didn't need his signature for anything.

I told my IM to tell WH his name is off the title so he can go get the truck in his name now.

He argues with her wanting proof. So she asked if I wanted to send proof.

I feel like it's not my responsibility to lead this dog n pony show of his as he can call the cars financial institution himself to see that he's no longer on that car because it's gone. I don't want to be a wench but come on he's nearly 48yrs old.

Plus...his OW is a hood rat and telling him I bought a new car....to me...only signals to OW there's money to be had if only she could convice WH to come after me for more...and that possibility scared me.

Besides am I wrong in that it's no longer WH business how I got him off the title? I told my IM to just send the same text saying simply he is off title...or ignore him...is that wrong?

Last edited by Alwayslookingup; 03/04/16 11:49 PM.

BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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How about changing your phone number now? Give your new number to people who really need to have it (like work). Let your old number go to voice mail, saying you can be reached by email (give the adress that is monitored by IM).

goody2shoes #2877605 03/05/16 06:40 AM
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Goody my WH does not call my house phone ever. His cell phone is blocked. His email is blocked. Im not sure why you suggest changing my house phone number in response to the car thing...tho I could've missed something. Currently my WH has no trouble with IM.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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But...I will call the phone company today and chg my home phone. I only have a home phone for Internet anyway. So no harm no fowl in changing the number.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 783
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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
Goody my WH does not call my house phone ever. His cell phone is blocked. His email is blocked. Im not sure why you suggest changing my house phone number in response to the car thing...tho I could've missed something. Currently my WH has no trouble with IM.
A couple of days ago, people were calling you because of his actions. That kills your plan B. Changing your number is taking control, deciding who is able to call you and who isn't.

I expect him to try to find his way around the IM in the future. Even if he hasn't contacted you on it the last months, at some point, he may think of calling you from a different phone than the one you blocked.

goody2shoes #2877616 03/05/16 11:47 AM
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I don't know. He is mad as hell right now that he didn't have to sign anything on my car change over. Prolly was a shock and loss of perceived control to hold over my head. All he has to do now is refi the truck and this nightmare can be done.

Last edited by Alwayslookingup; 03/05/16 11:47 AM.

BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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I asked IM to ask WH to pick a weekend to come get his personal belongings. WH is being obtuse...maybe decent ....????....and said I can pick the weekend. Before he was hot to trot to get it...but had to wait for court...but now he can come get his stuff he's like oh she can pick a date. Am I over analyzing why WH can't just answer a question to pick a date or is he being decent?

I guess I am Leary because I can see picking a date and him being difficult.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,432
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People who are in Plan B do NOT know all this stuff about their WS, nor do the analyze every nuance of their WS's behavior. Why pretend you are in Plan B? Do you think you are gaining something by it? Plan B is for your own piece of mind. You don't act as if you are interested in that. You just keep blogging about every new outrage as if our function was to help you keep score.


me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
mrEureka #2877644 03/05/16 09:56 PM
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It needs to be done. He needs to come get his stuff...planning that is what my IM is negotiating. How do I remove myself from being the ring leader of HIS circus? My divorce will be final in a matter of months.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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How am I supposed to be NC and still plan the two major issues left...which are minor relative to other people....the truck refinance that I will need to sign off on and the pick up of his things? How do I plan B correctly those two things?

My IM asks me...I tell her my plan...she tells WH and then it goes sideways from there. Am I supposed to just tell IM to tell WH how it's gonna be? Should there be no good will in trying to be accommodating?

Last edited by Alwayslookingup; 03/05/16 10:17 PM.

BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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