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Hi - I am new to this particular section of Marriage Builders. I was very active on the infidelity forum several years ago, user name was kimberly234. I have been divorced for more than 3 years -- many of my divorced friends have found other relationships and am really beginning to wonder if God's plan for me is to be single the rest of my life.

Anybody else feel that way? I am a very independent woman and have a wonderful soon to be 15 year old boy. I found out about my ex's affair when DS was getting ready to start kindergarten. Plan A & Plan B didn't work and after 2 affairs I realized that I needed to move on. I am happy now, but am ready for a companion/significant other!

Kimberly


BS Now divorced - D date 1/2010 Other History below
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Was Married 17 Years
DS age 14 now
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. No thoughts of PLAN A again. Went into Plan B for my sanity.....
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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I do understand ho you are feeling.
I think that the fact is you must make it a priority to get out and date before you can start to see a potential future with another mate.

Online dating will widen your scope of people to meet.

You would meet many people who are not good matches along with a few who are.
Join groups also where there is a chance to meet some decent guys.

The man you were married to in the past is not the only man for you in your one life.....if you are open to finding another!

BTW, there is nothing wrong with being unattached but you obviously are someone who would enjoy a true partner!







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Hi kimberly smile

Originally Posted By: kimberly2345
I have been divorced for more than 3 years -- many of my divorced friends have found other relationships and am really beginning to wonder if God's plan for me is to be single the rest of my life.


Nothing wrong with being single for several years so please don't think that God wants you to be alone for the rest of your life...although as a divorced BS, I understand how you may feel that way...sure others understand too.

Welcome back to MB.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Have you read Dr. Harley's book Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted By: kimberly2345
Hi - I am new to this particular section of Marriage Builders. I was very active on the infidelity forum several years ago, user name was kimberly234. I have been divorced for more than 3 years -- many of my divorced friends have found other relationships and am really beginning to wonder if God's plan for me is to be single the rest of my life.

Anybody else feel that way? I am a very independent woman and have a wonderful soon to be 15 year old boy. I found out about my ex's affair when DS was getting ready to start kindergarten. Plan A & Plan B didn't work and after 2 affairs I realized that I needed to move on. I am happy now, but am ready for a companion/significant other!

Kimberly


Well, I've been divorced for 2.5 years and haven't found anyone yet either!
I think it's healthier to wait a while for some people anyway.

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Originally Posted By: kimberly2345
Hi - I am new to this particular section of Marriage Builders. I was very active on the infidelity forum several years ago, user name was kimberly234. I have been divorced for more than 3 years -- many of my divorced friends have found other relationships and am really beginning to wonder if God's plan for me is to be single the rest of my life.

Anybody else feel that way? I am a very independent woman and have a wonderful soon to be 15 year old boy. I found out about my ex's affair when DS was getting ready to start kindergarten. Plan A & Plan B didn't work and after 2 affairs I realized that I needed to move on. I am happy now, but am ready for a companion/significant other!

Kimberly


I can relate to this SO MUCH!! smile I say the same thing to my friends jokingly....God wants me to be single right now.

Last night was a date with guy #11 and a complete disaster! I wanted to grab my purse and run!! lol

Hang in there and welcome! smile


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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I have the same feeling! Been single for 2 years.
I long for a partner to finally have children with and start a family at age 37.

The perfect age you would think, but it is not!
I had more than 40 dates but my dating path is littered with entitled 30+ year olds on a baby craze and single mom's who think a second marriage/more children is out of the question.

I am not religious, but thank God, He throws in plenty of gorgeous 21+ year olds who just want to have fun...
It definitly helps to ease the frustration!

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Hi everyone and thanks for the responses and encouragement!

My ex and I were separated for mor than a year before the divorce was final so it feels like I have been single for longer-- ha! Online dating.... Where do I start?? Met a very promising fella about a year ago who even attended my Church. Turns out we just aren't on the same page and as nice as it is to have a companion for movies/dinner I have decided it is just best for me to move on. Have been a few other dates with men during this time but not that right guy!

I will have to get the book by Harley, thanks for the suggestion Brainhurts.

I am in no rush, but am ready( I feel). :-)

Funny about the youngsters on the dating sites.... Without admitting my age, what does go through those boy's minds hitting on a woman old enough to be their mother?? Ok, y'all don't have to answer that one.

Up way too late...
Kimberly


BS Now divorced - D date 1/2010 Other History below
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Was Married 17 Years
DS age 14 now
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. No thoughts of PLAN A again. Went into Plan B for my sanity.....
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Originally Posted By: kimberly2345
I have been divorced for more than 3 years ...am really beginning to wonder if God's plan for me is to be single the rest of my life.


I was divorced for 8 years before finding Ms. Right, so you're still a newbie divorcee. Use the time wisely, and don't settle. Usually those who remarry quickly are desperate or can't be alone, neither of which is a good trait.

AGG


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Originally Posted By: geroldmodel
I have the same feeling! Been single for 2 years.
I long for a partner to finally have children with and start a family at age 37.

The perfect age you would think, but it is not!
I had more than 40 dates but my dating path is littered with entitled 30+ year olds on a baby craze and single mom's who think a second marriage/more children is out of the question.

I am not religious, but thank God, He throws in plenty of gorgeous 21+ year olds who just want to have fun...
It definitly helps to ease the frustration!


That's an interesting perspective from a divorced guy my age. I'm one of those 30+ yo who think more children is out of the question. I have 4, my youngest is 10 and I'm not interested in starting over with a new baby. I do have to admit that with a new relationship/marriage it might be tempting.


Me: 39
Married my amazing husband (52) on 2/29/2016

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Of course it's tempting!
Who can resist half a year without sleep, midnight feedings, and the best part: changing diapers and potty training?

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I think finding the right one takes work. I have dated lots, divorced for over 2 years. Marriage is not for the faint of heart so searching for one who will take it serious with you is a must.

I know what I want and that person is very hard to find, so the search continues. I have gone on over 40 dates. I have had a couple relationships. I have some very promising men in my life now.

The goal is to keep trying. Out of the 40 dates not one knew how to do marriage right. I've dated some in their late 20's also. I'm 39 years old. Nobody knows how to do marriage. It simply is finding what you want so keep trying.

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I think the answer to this dilemma can be found in the movie The Princess Bride

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more than a year since I have been on this site! Am back on to reach out for help dealing with my sis and her affair.....would have NEVER thought it. Anyway, I have to say that I still see the one guy off and on that I mentioned in my original post. Is that wrong? I do know that it is not meant for a long term relationship.....I am not lonely, but think he reaches out to me when he is and I end up going to hang out with him. I really just want to be his friend. There is nothing sexual going on, just a kiss here and there.....

In the meantime, my college boyfriend and I have been hanging out. I am not necessarily terribly attracted to him physically like I was in college. But he is familiar, makes me laugh and treats me well. Taking it slow to see where things go......

That is my story. Trying to keep an open mind.


BS Now divorced - D date 1/2010 Other History below
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Was Married 17 Years
DS age 14 now
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. No thoughts of PLAN A again. Went into Plan B for my sanity.....
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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I live in the country near a very small town. The choices are extremely limited and to complicate matters I don't drive at night. The last few years I've given up the idea of having another relationship, but if I met the right person, I would be open to it.
I haven't been on this site for quite a while but I wholeheartedly believe in Marriage Builders. If I ever do meet someone, the principles here are what I would embrace.


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .

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