My wife and I have been married for about 30 years. About three years ago something happened that caused me to suspect she cheated on me.
It bothered me for quite some time though eventually it subsided a bit, but it was always there.
Just recently this all came to the surface again and everything came flooding back.
Now it's driving me crazy, to the point that my wife has noticed that I appear preoccupied.

If she did cheat, I suspect it was only once.

So what do I do?
I never confronted her in the past about my suspicions and I'm not sure if I should do it now.
Of course the fear that I have is that she will say that she did not. Then do I believe her?
If she says that she did cheat that one time, well, I'm prepared to deal with it at that time.

I'm at my wit's end and just about going out of my mind.

Any suggestions as to what I can do to clear this up.

What happened that made you think she has had an affair? Can you give some background on this person?

I work with the guy. He has numerous affairs with every and any woman possible. He currently has two women on the go at work, and possibly more elsewhere. And he's married.

My wife met him at her work which he visits pretty well every day. When she told me she met this guy that works with me, she said his name was James. Huh? There's no James at my work. But there is a Jim, and nobody knows him as James.
When I told her about his reputation, she didn't say much but has never mentioned him since.

He often takes his women to one of several motels about ten minutes from where we live. One time driving into town, my wife commented wondering about the type of people that use these motels. She had never done this before or since.

One day when I was heading off to work on afternoon shift, I noticed a vehicle parked on the side not far from my house. There was someone sitting in the driver's seat. I realized it was Jim's truck, as his is quite unique. When I got to work I found out that he had been working day shift and had left about an hour before I got there.
As far I know, he knows no one on our street. It's a quiet street with less than twenty houses on it.

Ever since I suspect this happened, he never looks me in the eye when I'm working near him. And when he does talk to me, it's a very short conversation.

Yes, I know this is all circumstantial, but over time it has built up in me.

It all came back to me very recently. My wife went back to her old job for a short time and I dropped in to see her. Guess who was there talking to her?

So did she have an affair with him? Maybe, maybe not. But I know this guy well enough that I'm certain he at least propositioned her. Now whether she took him up on it or not is what's bothering me. I could understand my wife being flattered by a proposition, but......

Can you go back over your wife's phone records and see if you see anything for that time period? Have you searched her phone?

I would first check out past phone records and go through her phone and perhaps her computer to see if you can see anything. Next thing I would do is put some spyware on her phone and a voice activated recorder in either her car or your house. [wherever is best]

If there is nothing on her phone records and cell phone, I would try and trick her into confessing to you. For example, I would approach her and tell her you need to "have a talk" with a very serious look on your face. Tell her you have long suspected that something happened between her and XXX and now you know the truth. You want to hear her side of the story. If she tells you something incredible, ask her to back it up by taking a polygraph test.

Unfortunately phone records aren't available.
If anything happened, it's been too long. As for the present, it's not likely, but possible.
It's the past that's driving me crazy.

Did you read my post?

Thanks, yes I read it. No phone or computer records are available.
So is the only option confronting her? I guess I was hoping for a miracle solution.

I would FIRST put some spyware on her phone and a VAR in a select place so when you confront her you can see what she ways to the OM. Its likely they still see each other occasionally.

Yes very important to get a VAR hidden in the house and one in WW's car. Also activate the phones GPS.