I have no idea if it's still going on. I sent an exposure letter to OW sobriety sponsor and I think that is why he came unglued two weeks ago...but I'm not sure. We are so close to divorce now...I'm not sure it would work now anyway. I had asked you if I should send my exposure letters to her family...since they were not in the first exposure and you said not too since we were already so close to divorce and court dates.

He got the second IM sent plan B letter sent today...and he's no longer torn about what to do...that it's nothing but me being controlling. So no more IM info...plan B letter a fail x2 now.

Like I said, you CAN and should expose the affair at work. That is standing in the way of potential recovery.

ML...do you have a sample workplace exposure letter I can use?

here you go!

Workplace exposure letter - be sure and send to 3 key people and cc each on the letter. Good targets would be the Director of Human Resources, a key VP and both affairee's supervisor. This can be sent via registered letter or even via email!

Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney--

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

Do I give him 30 days notice?

I'm going to ask again, as clearly as I can:

Please post the exact Plan B letter that you sent him a few weeks ago.

Ok...I will...I actually sent 3...one ML wrote...stand by

I'm a little bit confused by your expectations of the plan B letters. How did they fail?
They are for YOU. For you to set your boundaries and expectations going forward. They are not to somehow force him to change course or do anything. The letter simply informs him of what your expectations are and how you plan to act if he does meet them and how you plan to act if he does not meet them.
You get to decide if the letter is successful, because no matter his choice you have a solid plan to act on and move forward to being well.

No, that is only for couples who are together and are working on their marriage.

Is this the one you sent?

This is today's plan B


Dear WH,

As I've said before...For reconciliation to happen I would need the following from you before making a commitment to reconcile:

> A full confession.
> A sincere, remorseful apology.
> Why you think this happened (name the problem --you've got to name it to claim it).
> A detailed recovery plan (what it is and how YOU plan to implement it).
> Proof you're working a 12-step program for addiction.
> Quitting (job) and (volunteer work) where your lapses in judgment and boundaries took place.
> No separate residences.
> Total transparency and access to all electronic devices.
> Letter we write together to all these other women ending all contact mailed to their residences.

The process of getting us to that point is up to you. If your hopes are the same as mine it will show in your actions and commitment to your own personal recovery and healing.

Until you tell IM that you're willing to commit to all of the above, there will be no direct contact with me. This is the only way back to me as it serves a purpose to affair proof our marriage going forward.

Faithfully,

Always

What Plan B letter did you send back in January?

This was the original::::

Dear WH,

This is a difficult letter for me to write, one that I have been mentally working on for weeks now. I have written this letter with the true love that only a wife can have for a husband. Please read every word I have written, for it is from the heart.

I would like to acknowledge and apologize for my part in the demise of our marriage. I neglected your needs, and failed to give you what you needed many times. I'm sure this helped create a voice in our marriage that allowed your affair to happen. I have said this before, and I want to say it again: I want to do whatever I can to put our marriage back together in a mutually satisfying way. I feel that I have been learning ways to be the type of woman that I hope you would be proud to call your wife, as I have so many times felt pride in calling you my husband. I so want to be able to put the past behind us, and build a better life together for us and (son).

The past ten months have been a difficult passage of time for me, the most emotionally traumatic in my life. We seemed to start recovery in the beginning, only to slip and fail again. We have somehow misplaced our foundation of trust and respect as God commands. But lately God has given me a strength that I never knew I possessed. I have grown and matured more as a Christian than I have in my entire lifetime. Whereas in the past I endured the hurt and pain, I now see that it is soon to drain my love for you. Until you can cease with this elicit affair and truthfully and honestly return home and work with me on rebuilding our marriage, I will be having no communication with you, and I will not be seeing you. This is not to punish you, it is to protect my feelings for you and our chances at reconciliation. If we continue as we are now, there would be nothing left.

I will be seeking counsel on how to best protect myself and (son), who has also been greatly affected by this.

I want us to be a team, and restore our marriage together. I want you to know that no matter how bad the past was, no matter how ugly, we can get past it. With God's help, our true healing can begin. Look inside yourself and find the strength we will need to do this.

I want to grow old with you. I loved you more than life itself while we were together, and I continue to do so as I write this. When you find yourself ready and willing to truly and fully commit to our family, willing to work on a plan for our recovery, and go to counseling, I will be ready and willing to discuss our future.

God be with you, my love.

Your loving wife,

Always

I sent the original on 12-31-2015 ....I copied it from ML who wrote most of it

The one sent today fell flat...its controlling so WH is supposedly no longer torn

That is not true. She did not write anything at all like the letter you just quoted.

What did he say?

How do you know this?

I'll have to find it....I wrote one that she crafted...maybe it was the exposure template. Now that one...everyone loved but them. I'm prolly thinking of the exposure letter.

On this thread, on 21st January you said that you had just sent a letter that MelodyLane drafted. What was in that letter?