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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
Dear WH,

Then we will have no contact. I will be blocking your email after this.

IM is your new contact for business related communication.

If you block her that is YOUR choice.

As for me...there is no more communication between us until you've ended your affairs with the other women and have agreed to no contact.

If you choose this life path...so be it..God nor I will stand in your way. For that reason...WE will have ZERO contact regarding any matter.

Until your affairs end and you agree to a plan that resolves anger and substance abuse issues (which includes affairs) I will avoid all contact with you. IM has agreed to act on both our behalf to communicate business related issues. If you choose not to let her act in that manner...I will not get your messages.

I ask that you respect my decision to cease all communication with you. You must know the unbearable suffering I have endured because of your affairs and I simply can't remain in contact with you under these circumstances.

I hope that we will be able to rebuild our marriage someday as I want to be able to meet each others emotional needs and avoid doing any more hurt to one another. We could build a new lifestyle together in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there would never be a reason for us to be separated. I want you to be my best friend.

I cared and loved you when we were married and I continue to care for you and love you right up to today. But I cannot be with you or help you as long as you are carrying on extra marital sexual affairs outside of our wedding vows.

With all my love,

Always
When was this letter sent?


BW
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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
I posted it for you already. ML message is posted.
Please quote it for me. I have completely lost track, and this is important.


BW
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His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
SugarCane #2878097 03/13/16 08:55 PM
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That letter was ML and was sent on 1-21-16


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
That letter was ML and was sent on 1-21-16
Please quote exactly what you wrote.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
SugarCane #2878099 03/13/16 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
Dear WH,

Then we will have no contact. I will be blocking your email after this.

IM is your new contact for business related communication.

If you block her that is YOUR choice.

As for me...there is no more communication between us until you've ended your affairs with the other women and have agreed to no contact.

If you choose this life path...so be it..God nor I will stand in your way. For that reason...WE will have ZERO contact regarding any matter.

Until your affairs end and you agree to a plan that resolves anger and substance abuse issues (which includes affairs) I will avoid all contact with you. IM has agreed to act on both our behalf to communicate business related issues. If you choose not to let her act in that manner...I will not get your messages.

I ask that you respect my decision to cease all communication with you. You must know the unbearable suffering I have endured because of your affairs and I simply can't remain in contact with you under these circumstances.

I hope that we will be able to rebuild our marriage someday as I want to be able to meet each others emotional needs and avoid doing any more hurt to one another. We could build a new lifestyle together in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there would never be a reason for us to be separated. I want you to be my best friend.

I cared and loved you when we were married and I continue to care for you and love you right up to today. But I cannot be with you or help you as long as you are carrying on extra marital sexual affairs outside of our wedding vows.

With all my love,

Always
When was this letter sent?


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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I don't quote well...sorry...but that was sent 1-21-16


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,536
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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
I don't quote well...sorry...but that was sent 1-21-16
I think I finally understand. I'm sorry to have badgered you endlessly about this, but I wanted to see whether you had sent a Plan B letter that made it clear that you would only consider talking to him about reconciliation once certain conditions were met.

You altered the letter that MelodyLane prepared on January 21st, which is a shame because hers was worded much more clearly and strongly. Her letter made it much clearer that he would not get any messages through to you unless it was a message stating that he was wiling to meet your conditions. Nonetheless, you did put the conditions in there, so he does know about them.

I wish that you had not fired off those additional letters today, because they make it sound as if you are negotiating. You have also significantly altered the wording of the letter that you sent on the 21st, which is a bad idea. I don't like the wording of your letters sent today, but more than that, your H needs to be met with the exact same message each time he tries his crap on you - and it is your IM who should send that message, NOT YOU. He must not know that his thoughts are getting through to you. You have told him that your IM will block all messages and only let urgent ones through, and that is what he should experience - not YOU sending letters when he sends nonsense proposals to your IM. Your replying to him only shows him that when you say "your messages will not reach me", you are lying - because they DO reach you. They just did, because you just replied. He is never going to take it seriously that you mean what you say about having nothing to do with him unless he meets your conditions.

So, to clarify what needs to happen now:

Send no more communications to your WH, EVER.

Send your IM a copy of ML's 21st January Plan B letter.

Tell her that she is not to communicate ANYTHING from him except a desire to reconcile, on the terms stated in that letter. No thoughts, no suggestions, no queries about it, nothing; you don't want to hear it. She is only to tell you the day he gets on bended knee to her and begs her to tell you that he has fully met the terms of your Plan B letter.

If he sends messages that are not about reconciliation to her, she should say nothing about them to you.

If he sends messages like today's saying he will think about reconciling, but only under certain conditions...

...she is to re-send your Plan B letter with a message that his message will not be passed on, and that the only message that will be passed on will be the one where he agrees to meet ALL the conditions in the Plan B letter.

She is not to tell you about any of this contact. She is not to tell you that she rejected it, and she is not to tell you that she re-sent the Plan B letter. She is not to tell you ANYTHING until the day he wants to get on bended knee and meet your conditions.

Is that clear? Can we get you into Plan B, having spent HOURS trying to get you there, since December?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
SugarCane #2878108 03/13/16 09:29 PM
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So...to be clear...have my IM send ML original letter with no changes today...again...


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Sep 2008
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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
So...to be clear...have my IM send ML original letter with no changes today...again...
NOOO. No more letters today. In my message above I did not say anything about anyone sending letters today.

You've sent additional letters today, which you should not have done, but let that stand. It does not make sense for him to get even more letters. He will be LOVING the attention, and laughing at you for not being able to get your story straight.

1. You send ML's original 21st January letter to your IM.

2. Tell her that she sends that letter to him if he makes any more noises about reconciliation, unless it is proper, bended knee, all-conditions-met reconciliation.

3. Tell her that you do not want to hear anything else that he says, ever.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
SugarCane #2878110 03/13/16 09:37 PM
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Got it!


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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How is the exposure to the employer coming along? Is it coming along?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
SugarCane #2878145 03/14/16 04:33 PM
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I'm working on moving the evidence from my iPad to my laptop so I can attach it all in one email to HR.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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What evidence do you want to send? I would be careful with that and check with this board before sending anything other than the letter/email.

Use the template, just fill in the blanks. If they contact you with questions, you can send proof if it is needed.

Originally Posted by MelodyLane
here you go!

Workplace exposure letter - be sure and send to 3 key people and cc each on the letter. Good targets would be the Director of Human Resources, a key VP and both affairee's supervisor. This can be sent via registered letter or even via email!

Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney--

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

goody2shoes #2878150 03/14/16 07:01 PM
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Oh...I thought I needed to send evidence. Well that makes it easier.

Do I give a 30 day notice to WH first or just send it?


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
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Posts: 7,449
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Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
Do I give a 30 day notice to WH first or just send it?

This was answered:

Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by Alwayslookingup
Do I give him 30 days notice?

No, that is only for couples who are together and are working on their marriage.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
SusieQ #2878153 03/14/16 07:19 PM
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Think about it:
You are in Plan B and he is not pursuing reconciliation with you. A notice would just read as blackmail to your WH.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
SusieQ #2878154 03/14/16 07:22 PM
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I missed that question being answered in all my posts yday with SC! Thanks. Will get going on this email.


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Ok...are you guys sure now is the time? My letter is ready...but I'm gonna be divorced in less than a month. He still hasn't refi'd the truck yet to my knowledge as I've not signed anything yet. He will lose his job just before we sign divorce papers...seems vindictive at this point in the game. If you think I should still send it I will...but...


BW, me - 44
WH - 47
Married 2.5yrs
EA 6-2015 estimate
PA 9-2015 estimate
D-day 11-22-2015
WH filed divorce 11-23-2015
Exposure 1-10-2016
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
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Send it. The company has a right to know how their resources are being used.

apples123 #2878158 03/15/16 01:23 AM
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Did you change much or did you copy/paste and added their names? If you made changes, can you post the letter here before sending?

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