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Thanks for the update, noone. I am glad you are getting out. GEtting out gives you a great chance at a happy future.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Thanks for the update, noone. I am glad you are getting out. GEtting out gives you a great chance at a happy future.

I agree noone, you deserve so much better.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Thank you both! I am feeling much better and getting excited to go to some place new.

It will be very hard to leave my dog, she has been a lifesaver. But she is in good hands and I will take her if this becomes permanent so, it will be fine. It is only 100 days. I can do anything for 100 days, well almost anything I guess.




Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
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Originally Posted by noone733
Thank you both! I am feeling much better and getting excited to go to some place new.

It will be very hard to leave my dog, she has been a lifesaver. But she is in good hands and I will take her if this becomes permanent so, it will be fine. It is only 100 days. I can do anything for 100 days, well almost anything I guess.
What an exciting new path you will be taking. Keep us updated.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I have made it to my new temporary home. This is a downright spectacular place.

I find myself saying how much WH would like this or that and I start to cry. I am pretty lonley but I start work tomorrow which will help.

I have gone out to eat a few times but the look on the host's face when I say a table for one can be soul crushing. The first night the very nice young man said "really?".

I know it will get better, but it is hard now. When going through hell, keep going, right?

I have some great friends back home that encourage me to call them when I am lonely, which is very nice, but it can be hard for those that have not walked in my shoes to understand.

I have stayed stong and not contacted WH except about taxes via the IM.

Thanks for being heree and giving me a place to get this all out, it really helps.
To better days!


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
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Originally Posted by noone733
I have made it to my new temporary home. This is a downright spectacular place.

I find myself saying how much WH would like this or that and I start to cry. I am pretty lonley but I start work tomorrow which will help.
Good! Once you get a routine, it will be easier. BrainHurts posted this link to radio shows on triggers, In the second segment of the the first show Dr. Harley explains perfectly why you shouldn't keep talking about your problems. And he gives advice how to take your mind off things. The goal is learning from mistakes from the past, not dwell on them, so you can focus on the present and future.
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Quote
I have some great friends back home that encourage me to call them when I am lonely, which is very nice, but it can be hard for those that have not walked in my shoes to understand.
You don't need to discuss your situation with your friends, hanging out with friends will help you take your mind of your problems. They only need to understand they should be pleasant company for you and not talk about your H.

You cannot "not think" of something, but you can occupy yourself with something different, so your mind has no time to go over and over the situation. Plan B is for your sanity.

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Thank you Goody2shoes, I know you are right. Frankly, I think my friends are better about not talking about him than I am and that is why it seems they do not understand. Perhaps they understand better than I do!

I just need to keep myself busy and I think that will help stop the tears and thoughts of him!



Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
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Just a quick update- doing MUCH better. New routines, new place and new faces that know nothing about WH. One bad day last week but got over it quick. Not talking about WH helps but I think a whole new routine is the key. Also being very social- at least for me. Going out with frinds 2 to 3 times a week. It is great.

A good friend told me that I have a right to my feelings and can be upset --- for 15 seconds. 😀 if I text her that I am doing badly, she replies: "you have 15 secondo go!". It works - hard not to chuckle and then she let's me know when 15 seconds is over and she changes the topic.

I found a lawyer which is a big relief. I think I am actually starting to feel hopeful. Even lost 10 ponds.

Here is to continued better days!


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
Joined: Apr 2001
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Thanks for the awesome update!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by noone733
Just a quick update- doing MUCH better. New routines, new place and new faces that know nothing about WH. One bad day last week but got over it quick. Not talking about WH helps but I think a whole new routine is the key. Also being very social- at least for me. Going out with frinds 2 to 3 times a week. It is great.

A good friend told me that I have a right to my feelings and can be upset --- for 15 seconds. 😀 if I text her that I am doing badly, she replies: "you have 15 secondo go!". It works - hard not to chuckle and then she let's me know when 15 seconds is over and she changes the topic.

I found a lawyer which is a big relief. I think I am actually starting to feel hopeful. Even lost 10 ponds.

Here is to continued better days!
hurray Definitely better days!!!!


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Well, today is my 17th wedding anniversary. And I am surprised by how well I did. I went to church, had a 1+ hour call with a great friend and got a deluxe mani-pedi. All in all a good day. I then followed it up with a nice dinner I cooked myself and glass of wine.

Last friday I interviewed for anoher job in Flordia and it is between me and one other person. The job I am in now in Montana ends on July 8 and I would go back to Ak. Of course this job may be offered permenaelty too and I could apply. Right now, I am just praying that I am on His path and that way I know I will make the right move.

Thank you all for helping to get me to such a healthy place. I still have the occasional bad day but they are fewer and fewer. I feel I can hold my head high and look myself in the mirror beacuse I tried everthing I could to save my marraige and for that i will always be grateful to all of you.


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
Joined: Nov 2010
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Originally Posted by noone733
Thank you all for helping to get me to such a healthy place. I still have the occasional bad day but they are fewer and fewer. I feel I can hold my head high and look myself in the mirror beacuse I tried everthing I could to save my marraige and for that i will always be grateful to all of you.
You did the hard work, my friend. So glad to hear the update and glad your personal recovery is going well. Stay the path and I am glad to hear that you know the bad days will be less and less.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Just wanted to give an update. I am doing so much better. My bad days are few and far between these days. Being in a different state has really help I think.

One that note, I accepted a new job in Florida. About as far from Alaska as I can get. I wanted a big change and I got it. So I head back home this Sunday and head south early July.

I have struggled recently as I lost my 4 yr old rottweiler to cancer last Sunday (yup, Father's Day). She was my rock and was a large part of me surviving the last year. I will rebound but it is very hard to lose her.

Thanks again for all you help and support. On to even better days!


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. Glad to hear how you are healing.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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noone, thanks for the update. So sorry to hear about your dog, but glad to hear you are doing well in the rest of your life!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I made the big move-Alaksa to Florida. About 2 months after I got here, WH arrived wanting to reconcile. I was so desperate and lonley (no Internet or TV where I was staying), that i jumped on his offer.

The first month was great! However, to no one'surprise it went down hill very quickly. Nothing I did-expensive weekend get aways, catering to his every whim, giving him cash-made him happy.

He left me almost 3 weeks ago (was only here about 8 weeks). I feel so stupid for even giving him a chance. If any new folks are reading listen to the folks here and DO NOT follow my path.

It is not as bad as the last time, but still hurts. I am very lonley. He wants to "hurry up and get this done"-charming fella.

Guess it is time to be moved over to the divorcing board?

Thank you all for being here!


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
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ugh, I am so sorry to hear this.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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So sorry noone. Has he left the state for good? Is your divorce final?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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He has left the state- about 3 weeks ago. The divorce is just getting started. Sigh.

Problem is, I am not sure we can file anywhere. We are no longer in AK, I have to be in FL for 6 months before I can file. WH is in CA, I do not what they require.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 105
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Man he is a jerk! He called from his parents house which I did not have blocked (but do now!). Seems he is living there. Almost 50 and living with your parents,that will get the girls.

He said he is working on the paperwork to file for divorce and told me he wants half of pretty much everything and to except papers to sign in the next two weeks or so.

He never paid a bill in the last 10+ years, I scrimp and save to support us and now he wants half. He always had money he made from the business but spent that an hunting trips, beer, going out to lunch everyday and other fun stuff for him. He had the affair not me! He even took a year long vacation on money from selling a bunch of our stuff and did not share any of that with me! Grrrrrr. Seems so unfair- his bad deeds should Count! I moved to Alaska because it was his dream not mine. I had a career in California but gave that up. Because I was able to start a new one and he chose to be a lazy beer drinking bum, I get the short end of the stick.

I was doing pretty good recently. How is it he can file in a state he is no longer living In? Man divorce sucks. Can't wait till this is over.

Oh,and after telling me what he is taking, he asked how I was. I told him it was none of this business. He seemed offended and the call ended quickly.

I hope that is the last time we speak.


Me: BW (45)
WH: 47
Married: 1999
No kids, one wonderful dog
DD #1 (EA, but said was over) 6.27.15
DD# 2 (ongoing PA) 9.11.15
Plan B started 10.1.15
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