She is being very independent, well except for having her mom helping her out. She is very open with my mom about everything, and talks about the relationship with me a lot. The wedding pics are still on the wall. Why does everyone have to assume that there is an affair, there has to be other possible explanations?

I don't understand what this means, or how it gives you confidence that she is not having an affair.

We call this DENIAL.

So you are saying that is the absolute only possibility? There's nothing else?

I am saying you should FIND OUT THE FACTS. Stop making silly, wild guesses and FIND OUT THE FACTS.

Could you explain what you meant, please?

I guess I can't...she is taking care of the house herself, plowing a long driveway, priding herself on her independence, etc...

I don't know what else to say... There is an OFP that would allow her to do anything she wants, go anywhere she wants, meet anyone she wants.... Yet she says she isn't. I honestly don't have the money to hire someone. And if I violate the OFP one more time chasing her down, I will end up in jail.

If I hunt her down and find nothing conclusive, then I still know nothing. If she travels to another state, it's not like I can follow her everywhere.

I am not as confident as you she is not having an affair. In fact, I bet my car she is having an affair.

Is there something you are not telling us about the OFP? I live in a very liberal state, and even here my attorney told me there is a VERY HIGH BAR to obtain an OFP. (I was worried my WW was going to do that). Without a prior record, or any physical evidence, my attorney said it's very hard for her to get this. Of course, I have been very careful what I say around her ever since.

I have the same feeling. I have been here for 15 years and I can count on THREE fingers the times a WW has got a frivolous, baseless restraining order. In all 3 instances, it was reversed at the first court date when the facts were introduced. I have NEVER seen an unwarranted RO stand.

I stopped posting here, as there is really nothing I can do to check for an affair. He's part of a group of friends, and there is no way to differentiate what is actually going on without peeking in bedroom windows... Which will land me in jail.

She made a lot of claims.. I had some controlling tendencies, but nothing like she stated. There were many items she listed that were half truth, that I would check where she was through her phone, that is true, but she did the same to me. That I would get upset at her for where she was is completely not true. There was a mix of things, many were flat out lies.

So, from my 1st atty, 2nd atty, and everyone I have talked to, OFP's are ridiculously easy to get in my state/county. I heard a story recently from a guy whose wife was physically abusove to him, police reports and all. She filed for an OFP against him, he had his family and her family and their common friends all testify that she was the abusive one, and the court still issued the OFP. I've heard from others who filed them, and got them, almost no questions asked. She just has to claim fear, and she gets the order.

In my case, I agreed to it, so the so-called "evidence" was never heard, and was issued without findings. And from what I have heard, it was much better this way. The judge is also a man-hating lesbian, everyone avoids her as much as possible, as she always sides with the woman. For OFP's they always err on the side of caution. It is guilty until proven innocent, and the judges are super sensitive to not issuing an OFP and having something bad happen after because of it. I didn't make this up, it is what has been told to me.

Her fear is that I wouldn't leave her alone. I left for a couple hours and went back, she said she wanted time and space and I told her I wasn't leaving my house. But then she didn't ask for the house in the OFP anyway.

Current status, proceeding with the divorce. And she is angry, and being greedy. I had heard from a couple people, when their spouse left for an affair, the cheater felt guilty and asked for almost nothing, so at that point I was almost hoping she was! But no, quite the opposite.

I really need to change something on this thread... I did a quick search on the web with certain words. and it brought me right to this thread.... Could lead the ex here also, and bury me deeper. The OFP says I can not discuss this stuff on social media sites. If someone could please delete my entire thread would be appreciated.

I dont think you need to delete everything, your OFP is insane. Did you sign up here in anyway shape or form where it could be found. My name is 125 because I don't need my friends reading my comments.
Reading through this feed and it is exciting,I would so get a PI,no one has to know about it and its not like if they are caught they are going to say yeah, your husband hired me. You are doing everything to close to the book, she got ugly with the OFP that does not mean you have to follow all the rules just be careful. Honestly,I would not know if she is having an affair. It sounds like she us listening to her mom and friends, I have friends like that most of the anti-marriage are single. It sounds to me like she is playing hard,your best bet is to head to court.