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Originally Posted by doesnt_want_meFL
Ugh, this has to be the most painful thing I've ever felt. I feel so broken today.
Sorry, have you completed exposure?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I am working on it, I'm having trouble finding contact means for some people. Do I let the OW know that I know?


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Originally Posted by doesnt_want_meFL
I am working on it, I'm having trouble finding contact means for some people. Do I let the OW know that I know?

I would let her find out via exposure. If you expose to her family and friends, she will find out real quick. When you are done, you might want to give her a call.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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ok


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How did exposure go? Who did you end up exposing to?

How are you?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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exposure went ok. I exposed to both our families, friends and the part of OW's family I could find. he was expectedly furious and on and off mean for a couple weeks. my family is wonderfully supportive, his family is useless and I got a response from no one on OW's side. she is not married so there is no BH to help and he family doesn't seem to care a wit.
I asked him to leave the morning after I found everything.

we talk and I see him several times a week, but I have told him until he gets a new job and provides total transparency I am not willing to live with him. Our conversations are mostly pleasant and none substantive, but I bring up the job and transparency daily.

I am working on getting an apartment, which is proving very hard due to our financial situation, but after that I'm thinking I may be headed to plan B.
He claims a divorce is not what he wants, but is actions don't seem to show that, and as everyone says MB is action oriented. He has read surviving an affair.

in terms of how I'm doing, I'm surviving. I've been to the doc and got some AD's, and I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Last edited by doesnt_want_meFL; 05/14/16 07:12 AM. Reason: typos

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Where is he living?

Do you know if there has been NC between him and the OW?

When you ask him to get a new job and provide transparency, what is his response?



FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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What family members on OW's side did you expose to?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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he is at his dad's. he is still working with her but claims he doesn't "talk" to her. regardless, I consider working with her continued contact and therefore an active affair, which is why I continue to tell him his working there is hurting me horribly.

he has applied to, by my count, 10 jobs in the last week, but this is the first effort I've seen at all. on transparency he says "I know"

her brother, mother and cousins. the only one who has acknowledged anything is the cousin and she is not close to her, but does think it is horrible. I recently found a fb for her exH whom OW has children with, so I will be exposing to him too.


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Originally Posted by doesnt_want_meFL
he is at his dad's. he is still working with her but claims he doesn't "talk" to her. regardless, I consider working with her continued contact and therefore an active affair, which is why I continue to tell him his working there is hurting me horribly.

he has applied to, by my count, 10 jobs in the last week, but this is the first effort I've seen at all. on transparency he says "I know"

her brother, mother and cousins. the only one who has acknowledged anything is the cousin and she is not close to her, but does think it is horrible. I recently found a fb for her exH whom OW has children with, so I will be exposing to him too.
You're correct that working with her is continued contact.

Have you exposed at their workplace?

You need to get into Plan B. His continued affair will make you sick.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I have not exposed at his work and I know I need to.
I'm also working on getting in to plan B.


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Originally Posted by doesnt_want_meFL
I have not exposed at his work and I know I need to.
I'm also working on getting in to plan B.
When will you be exposing to their job?

Have you written the Plan B letter?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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