I'm new here. A few days ago my husband confessed (well I got it out of him) that he had feelings for his ex who he saw recently. They chatted on Facebook (I had access to it and he knew I was reading their conversation). I thought it was innocent. He invited her to a party we were having, I didn't think anything of it because all week he was telling me it's nothing just wanted to be friendly. At the party, after I left we have one child I had to go take care of, he said she told him she was interested in him and has been thinking about him since she saw him. He told her he's married. He later confessed that he told her he'd been thinking about her too. This killed me. We've had such a good marriage until this. He is not of character to do this and be secretive, we talk about everything. Long story short after the party he asked what she wanted and he told her he's happily married. The problem is he's told me he can't stop thinking about her, he wants these feelings to go away. I told him he needs to stop all contact which he did. However, it's been four days and he's been so distant from me. He says he wants to care that he hurt me so bad, but he has no emotions at all. He tells me he loves me, but his actions don't show it. It's as if he's sad that he decided to stay with me. What do I do? I told him I'm there for him, but I'm so heartbroken and I need him to show me that I'm the only one (I've told him this). How do I go on? Sorry this is so long. Just a side note, he's on medication that can alter his behavior and cause mood changes. I don't know if it's that or if he's going through withdrawal. Could he have withdrawal symptoms if nothing happened and all this happened within two weeks?

I wanted to add that at the end of the party she said they should probably not see each other again and he agree.

You need to put spyware on his devices and a VAR in his car to assure he is not in contact with her. You cannot trust him right now, even if you think he 'not that kind of guy' or that he has been nobly honest with you. Affairs have a very addictive property that can turn the greatest of men (or women) into complete moralless strangers.

Do you have any suggestions on spyware and what is a VAR?

Var=voice activated recorder

He could be having withdrawal, but I doubt it for a 2-week EA. My guess is that there is still C, even if it's just one-sided C on his part (looking at her FB page or what not).

Is he still on FB?

I doubt that this actually was a 2-week EA. This has been an EA ever since they first talked on FB. How long has that been?

Does she live within easy travelling distance from you? Could they have been seeing each other for much longer than you realise?

Why did he invite her to a party at your house? And why did he only tell her at the party that he was married - didn't she know this all along? If not, why not? Was he chatting to her all that time on the grounds that he was a single man?

This relationship runs a lot deeper than you have been led to believe. This has been sexual relationship for some time. You need to find out the truth.

I'll try to answer all the questions. No, it has been two weeks, she came into his work, he works retail. He showed her pictures of me and our daughter. He did NOT have an affair; I contacted our friends. He said he invited her because he wanted to "find out for sure if she actually liked him" he doesn't know why. Maybe the excitment? He started to talk to her on FB right after she saw him, and added him. It was only a few chats...hows he doing good to see him, and he asked if she wanted to come to this party. then it was date time ect. They are not seeing each other. He has been at home since the encounter he actually has a cold and hasn't gone anywhere. I checked all phone records, no contact. However, today he did search for her profile on FB, I found it and confronted him. He said he just wanted to see her pictures. I said well here you go now those feelings are back and you have to fight them all over again.

He did mention that she was persistent and "wanted" him really bad. I'm not sure if that could have something to do with it. He knows he wants to be here with me and our daughter but he says he can't stop thinking about her. I'm just so heartbroken. I also think he is depressed.

But you said she is his ex. That means they have known each other for years. How do you know that this only started now? I still don't understand your answer; you're only telling me what he's told you, that it started when she went to his work.

What was his ex doing at his work?