Thanks MelodyLane and BrainHurts. I've been reading the Plan B thread.

I got the GPS installed today when my husband left to meet his brother. You can see it sticking down a little and it has flashing lights so I covered it with black cold weather resistant electrical tape. Let's hope it works and he doesn't notice it.

I'm getting the VAR tomorrow.

I have the VAR installed. I was sitting at home waiting for my WH to get back home and I thought what the heck I'll just drive to staples. I bought the VAR and industrial strength Velcro and put it under the drivers seat. I noticed the electric tape was coming off the GPS so I retaped it better. I'm nervous about him finding the spyware but I have nothing to lose at this point.

Great job! I don't think it will take you long to get the evidence.

Good job Montgomery!
Fyi- there is usually a setting to turn the flashing lights off. Also turn off any beeps.

Thanks for the support unwritten and Openeyes11. I took the GPS out because it was just too obvious because of it's size and in a place where his leg could easily bump it. I'm ordering a different smaller one from brickhouse security. It's a battery powered one that I can attach with a magnet under the seat.
The VAR is in his car and I'm hoping the industrial strength Velcro holds it in place!

The new battery powered gps should arrive tomorrow. The VAR held in place today. I figured I should leave it for a few days to have the best chance of getting evidence. If I take it out tomorrow morning then I will potentially miss something. The OW works with my husband on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday so they probably talk at work on those days anyway.

Not that it matters but I found out today that the OW and her husband were swingers back in 2009. It makes since now why she wanted to watch pornography with me and my WH at her pool party this past summer. I figured she was just drunk. Now I'm not sure if her husband will care when he finds out but I guess that's not my problem.

You can also put Velcro under seat. Sticky back from craft store. Also might be good to swap out VARS daily. Download recordings onto computer without pressure.

Oh yes openeyes, I did put the Velcro under the seat.

Is it normal to have changing feelings about wanting to save your marriage when dealing with infidelity?

I think this has depleted my love bank with my WH.

Yes, it is normal. It's a big lovebuster while at the same time, he is not meeting your ENs.

We know how hard this is, you're doing great. Hang in there.

Thanks SusieQ.

What are some opinions about me sleeping in the spare bedroom while I continue to get evidence? It shouldn't be long now as I've got a different GPS and I'm listening to the VAR tomorrow. I've also arranged to have him followed by the PI again Friday. For now though I'm having a hard time trying to meet his emotional needs and deposit love when I feel so rejected and I'm the only one trying! He basically told me last night he didn't want to disrupt his life by leaving his job and today is barely speaking. The spare bedroom has an attached bathroom and that way I could get ready in privacy. All opinions welcome. Thanks

I wrote my plan b letter today so I can have it ready for Friday. My brother has agreed to be our IM. I also put a call into the lawyer to get the ball rolling on a legal separation and I got the paperwork for a P.O. Box. The PI is following him Friday and WH thinks I'm going to see my daughter a couple hours drive away. It looks like I will be doing the exposure and plan b on the same day. It's probably not ideal but it seems like the best thing right now. I'm not doing too well and the weight is falling off rapidly. I'm recovered from anorexia so I can't play around with not being able to eat. So far the VAR hasn't revealed anything. The PI told me to be careful with it because in my state you can get a 5 year sentence for recording someone without their consent. There probably won't be much to report tomorrow but I will try to give an update Friday or Saturday.

You have the right to surveilance of your own property. Besides, if you hear anything, you don't have to reveal your source

Hang in there. Going to Plan B and exposure at the same time is a great idea. Are you planning to pack his bags and leave the letter on top? Don't forget to change the locks.

Hi Montgomery, I am sorry this is so stressful. We all understand completely.

I wanted to address the above comment. You should focus on one thing at a time. Expose the affair, then ask him to move out. AFTER he has moved out, you can a couple of weeks to go into Plan B. You can't really do plan b on the same day unless he moves out.

Just to clarify apples123 and MelodyLane, I was just thinking when I get word from the PI on Friday that they are together I would already have his bag packed and get the financial stuff taken care of and then call the locksmith. He had relations with me last Friday morning before he went to spend the afternoon with her while I was in a job interview. The PI has proof he wasn't at work when he told me he was and he called me within 10 minutes of her returning home (photographic evidence). I don't personally need further proof but I think he will still try to deny everything.

I gotcha. This is why it is so critical to get undeniable proof. There really isn't anything other than circumstantial evidence here. You need more and I am relieved you are getting it.

Did you see hwat I said about Plan B? I like your plan of kicking him out, but you will have time to go into Plan B after your exposure.

Do you know what Plan B entails?

I've got my exposure plan based on the link here. I was thinking I would make sure he isn't able to bother me and then expose just because I can't imagine dealing with him anymore for awhile. Maybe I should expose Friday while he is busy with the OW and then deal with kicking him out once he gets home or just tell him I know and not to come home.

It might be best for you to expose once you have the evidence and THEN ask him to leave. It is better to expose before you confront him because you don't want to give him and the OW a chance to pre-empt you and spin the story.

Focus on those 2 things and then once you have him moved out, you can go into Plan B.

Have you read Survivng an Affair? Do you understand how Plan B works? Here is a pretty good thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2482787#Post2482787

Oh no. Now I've created more of a mess. I called to check up on him at work and he got so mad he hung up on me and won't answer my calls or texts.

Just calm down and play it cool. Be very calm so he doesn't suspect your plan. CAn you remain calm?