Var is voice activated recorder. Look in the Operation Investigate forum for more tips.

Don't be scared. You have the right to know what is happening in your own life. Investigate.

If you don't investigate now, you may lose the elemaent of surprise.

Go to that thread and click on the name CSue - it is a link. Choose "view posts" from the drop-down menu: all your posts appear, all 1,781 of them. Choose "topics created", at the top of the page, if you want to find the threads you started that probably contain your story.

Here Recording Equipment

Are you planning to put spyware on all his devices?

CSue-- !!! I'm so sorry you're back here for more troubles, but I've wondered for years how you were and how you were doing. I'm glad I stuck around long enough to "see" you again.

tl

Hi thndrnitng, I remember you and Neak. I saw from my previous me, that my dates and times are a bit off. It's been longer ago than I thought. I'm glad you stuck around too. I remember how rewarding it was to help others here.

Things have evolved here as one would expect over this long of a period of time. I don't remember the emphasis on stealth, spyware etc. Then note the topic of my thread "No Proof". Hah!

What hasn't changed is the enormous support I'm finding here and how universal the experience.

I'm need to read tons here and find my way. Tomorrow's a busy day so not sure if I can update tomorrow. I'm too numb to update my evening.

This is a very different experience than what I had the first time. I will call it a win that I did not demand no contact. We were both very polite yet awkward at dinner tonight. So weird. It felt like a blind date. Tomorrow we're going skiing.

Reading back on my previous thread has been a trip. I've forgotten so much. It's incredible to read my own words/experience. Thank you for caring

I was reading your first thread. Did you ever expose his affair? Tell your children?

CSue! Sorry to find you on here and not a happier place to be. Your WH was already far, far past appropriate the very first time he allowed banter to take place. By the time you expressed your discomfort, and he didn't immediately and voluntarily cut this woman off, he indicated how deep the A already was. (Even if it still was an EA at that time, which is unlikely.)

What are your WH's other two top EN's besides Admiration? Alongside your spy plan, you should work to meet his top EN's as part of a Plan A, if you're interested in salvaging your marriage.

Nobody would blame you if you didn't, and you'll get great help either way you decide. The future of your marriage is way more up to you than to him. You've got veto power. That knowledge should turn you into Wonder Woman!

Almost 16 years to the day since you first posted on here.

She will also loan you her cape, if you like!

tl

Hi Brainhurts, Exposure wasn't recommended, I can't remember why, but SH must have made that decision after WH and I talked with him individually on the first counseling appointment.

Neak! Big hug to you. Oh my goodness you and your mom. I can't find the words. All I can say at the moment is that you both make me smile. You have such a way with words. I had forgotten you are a writer. I can certainly see why. So glad you found this thread. I am starting to remember so much I had forgotten.

thndrnitng - I read about the cape of power. I will work up to that. One thing that is wonderful about you and Neak is that you brought your loving famillyness ( I know that's not a word) and you embrace all of us. It's like walking into your home and finding a blazing fireplace, comfy chair, chocolate chip cookies and Bailey's and Coffee. I feel so grateful.

Found my computer file on MB Version 1. I had passworded the documents, so took me awhile to put myself in my 16 year ago size shoes to remember what I might have chosen.

Sheesh Neak you are right about 16 years ago to the very month. Yikes!! Going to take me some time to digest all of this. I am starting to get some clarity.

I am relieved that I at least remembered to come back here.

Have you "been through the desert on a horse with no name?" Did you stay to see the 76 trombones in the "hip" parade? As long as you're remembering, remember this philosophy from way back then that still holds true today (some days with more difficulty than others!): No matter how many things are going wrong, no matter how bad it gets, there is something, somewhere, that's funny. Find it and laugh. It helps you cope with the rest that has no humor in it whatsoever!

tl

Thank you thrndrnlting; that'a a very nice gift today! So true

Do your kids know about his affair?

So no one knows about his affair?

Hi BrainHurts.

You're correct, no one knew, except WH, me & SH.

Hmmmm. Methinks it's almost time to change that.

Though there may not have been a need for nuclear exposure last time since the A was already over, but family exposure provides accountability.

As soon as you get the goods this time around, time to nuke. And family/close friends needs to know the full story of both A's. They've already been wounded, and don't know why, or even what exactly happened. I guarantee knowing this will answer questions for close family, especially kids.

How's the snooping going?

To update and ask a question. No keylogger or VAR at this time. No contact that I've been able to trace with his computers and cell phone.

I have continued to snoop. H is returning from a convention this evening and when I checked his cell/text records I saw a lot of activity from a different area code. This would be another possible OW

I paid an online service to give me the details of this person. I have her name and she is a verizon customer like we are.

I need to find a way to get the content of the texts. So far I haven't found a way. H is flying home and will be here around midnight.

Anyway I can get content? I printed the log and the info sheet I got.

This is what I've found on Verizon.

Step 4: Click Text Status and now you can check your text messages in the web UI. Keep in mind that the messages are stored for only 5 days.

However, there are some limitations to this service. The messages you can see are those sent only via text messages using Verizon, and you can�t go as far back in history as you would like. The only messages available to read online are those that have been sent or received within the past week. Beyond that, Verizon will not give you access to your messages.

Are you in need of technical help with getting them up and running? Those two things can give you everything you need. A GPS is good too if you can keep this hidden.

I've been reading the investigate thread and will figure out what to do. I am hoping if I could get content from yesterday and today's texts as proof I will know what I'm dealing with most recently.