What happened yesterday when your son shoved her? Did he leave to go with her or did she leave without him? Does she not see that she is wrecking her relationship by trying to force him?

I would make sure your son also documents the in ident in his own words.

My son did not go with her. I asked her to leave because she was calling me names and needing to go to the hospital, etc. She would not let me take her to the ER to get stitches. She does not see that she is wrecking her relationship. Their family blames exposure for turning the kids against her. Since I exposed, I am the reason for their pain. This is the primary reason for the Brother-in-law text. He is angry about exposure and both my wife and siblings lived through an ugly divorce with their parents. Her mother manipulated them, and they all believe I am doing that with the kids to turn them against her.

They wanted me to say that we just couldn't work things out and go on.

Her family makes me feel guilty, even though adultery is the root cause.

You will feel a lot better when you haven't heard from any of them in a long time, so be sure to make it impossible for them to contact you.

You are doing the right things the right way DS. Over time, your life will change but, if she stays on this same trajectory, hers will not and people will come to realize it isn't you or you manipulating the boys. My ex-FIL and ex-SIL fully supported my now XH in his A and saw me as evil personified. They both now think I walk on water. It just took time.

In other words, they wanted you to lie to cover up her adultery and teach your children to be dishonest. They would have eventually found out, by the way. It was never in the best interest of your children to lie to them. I am sure your wife wanted to lie about the reasons for your divorce, but that is not healthy or normal.

In short, your wife wrecked her relationship with her children by having an affair. She is 100% to blame. Unfortunately for her, your kids learned right from wrong from you and don't approve. That is the risk one takes when they commit adultery.

"Sorry, but I don't lie to my kids."

This is what I've said all along during this process when she would bring up telling the kids about the divorce.

Isn't it interesting that other people have an opinion that you should lie to your own kids when it is not their ox getting gored? I can somewhat understand your wife feeling that way because she is the guilty party.

But these other clowns don't love your kids and are not responsible for them. So easy to be all full of opinions when it is not their kids being harmed. Hope you tell them to shove it.

13 yr old was at MIL after school. WW stops by to pick him up. MIL and WW were talking bad about me while he was in the bathroom. It made him upset. He confronted WW in car home that if she continues seeing OM, he didn't want to live with her. She told him that she would not stop. He said it was fine if she found someone else. She said that was not fair.

13yr old calls 17yr old to pick him up. She threatens him that he is coming back for 2 more days custody.

My son tells me that she has filed some sort of police report, I am not sure, but I think she is targeting me. I am going to the judicial center tomorrow to file restraining order. I should have got it today, but was too busy at work to leave (important meetings).

I'm a little worried because I have never been in trouble with the law and not used to this kind of thing.

Do you think she has filed assault charges against you?

I would contact your lawyer first thing in the morning and tell him what you know.

I am pretty sure that is the case. Unfortunately I did hug her to calm her down. She's going to claim I hit her because of what brother in law is saying.

Did your sons witness this? Didn't you call the police afterwards?

Son saw it and I called the police to report it.

Alternatively, she may have made a report against your son and then intends to use it as leverage to force him to see her: "I'll drop the charges if you agree to come with me when it's my turn for visitation."

I have told MIL to shove it. The FIL won't contact me, Sister won't call me. Brother needs to be shut down. I have already blocked them all on social media. I am going to block their phone numbers.

This family enables this. I should have know 21 years ago and looked elsewhere.

Hi DeepSorrow, it sounds like you are having a really tough time. I'm so sorry. Here are somethings i have learnt from my recent experience with police and courts:

1. If someone says something about you that isn't true, deny it immediately, in writing if possible. If your brother in law has made you aware that your WW is telling people you hit her, you must respond that you did not and would not. If you don't deny something at the time, people will wonder why you didn't.

2. Get a timeline of events sorted out to give to your lawyer. These issues did not come out of nowhere and it is important that you give your lawyer the information to enable them to control the storyline that the police or courts hear. Sort out causes and consequences so that your WW cannot put forward her interpretation first. Having control of the interpretation of events is important. But make sure you stick to facts and events with no emotion.

3. Make sure you report everything that happens to all relevant people (again, in writing if possible) including your wife. I have needed to demonstrate to lawyers and police that I took action to make my husband aware of things that were happening, and that i gave him the chance to respond and intervene, before I took further action to protect myself and the children. I also needed to show that I had formally reported things to his employer and asked for their intervention before pursuing other avenues involving lawyers and courts. Being able to produce a paper trail that shows I did all this in a logical sequence has helped me a lot - and it provides a sharp contrast to the lack of logic of a wayward mind. Just always remember to report things without emotion so that no one can accuse you of being nasty for the sake of nastiness. You are trying to protect your family and all your actions and statements should reinforce that.

Just try to ignore people making you feel bad about yourself and your actions. It is really hurtful, but as long as you know you are doing what is right for your family and your children, you will be fine. All this negative noise will pass.