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The reason to talk to him about this is for his own future. HIS future. Because if he lets himself react that way when someone near and dear to him treats him horribly, then he's going to end up in serious trouble somewhere down the line. She's not going to be the last person that treats him horribly. I understand and I was not trying to say she deserved anything. He needs counseling outside of people that are involved in this situation.
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And did you get everything reported to the police so she can't pull something later? I called the police 2 times. Told them what happened and got their guidance on how to handle it. I could get a temporary restraining order. I have not decided yet. Do it.
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I think it's going to be important to make it impossible for her to contact you except through an intermediary who will filter this stuff out. I'm waiting until divorce is final and then going into Plan B. It is too easy to break Plan B right now without separate lawyers. I am going to talk to one, but I might have the divorce final soon. A restraining order would make Plan B easier.
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The reason to talk to him about this is for his own future. HIS future. Because if he lets himself react that way when someone near and dear to him treats him horribly, then he's going to end up in serious trouble somewhere down the line. She's not going to be the last person that treats him horribly. I understand and I was not trying to say she deserved anything. He needs counseling outside of people that are involved in this situation. Oh, I think she did deserve it. You're missing the point of what I and markos are telling you -- that you need to talk to your son about controlling his anger for his sake, regardless of her.
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Taking his stuff from where? You're not letting her in the house, are you? I did. That will not happen again. Lesson learned! 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I think it's going to be important to make it impossible for her to contact you except through an intermediary who will filter this stuff out. I'm waiting until divorce is final and then going into Plan B. It is too easy to break Plan B right now without separate lawyers. I am going to talk to one, but I might have the divorce final soon. A restraining order would make Plan B easier. DS, please take Prisca's advice and get a restraining order to keep her out of the house.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My 13yr old text me after getting home from school. He has just figured out that WW is moving in stuff into her home from OM. My son is really upset. Suggestions?
He also told me he is uncomfortable at her house without 17yr old.
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My 13yr old text me after getting home from school. He has just figured out that WW is moving in stuff into her home from OM. My son is really upset. Suggestions?
He also told me he is uncomfortable at her house without 17yr old. Does he have to go? Can't he tell his Mom he doesn't want to go?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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13yr old is already at her house. I called the lawyer. He said that I can fight for custody now, but WW would probably submit for alimony. In our current agreement, she has waived alimony. Lawyer says it could be a lot with the disparate salaries. Or, we would file for judgement and after 30 days, say the custody is not working out and file for full custody. She can't go after alimony after divorce. In my state, what the kids want at their age, the court will approve. 17yr old is an adult and can do what he wants.
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Just wait! The kids can just refuse to go until the divorce is final and then you can get full custody.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am seriously considering restraining order and Plan B.
Her brother just sent me this text. "Heck of an example of a man you are setting for your sons. To lay a hand on a woman or allow your son to his mother is truly sickening."
Sound like she told her family I hit her.
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I would respond back to him and say: "I would never hit XW, so it doesn't sound like you were told the truth. I agree that DS should not push her and have spoken to him about this"
I think you should file a RO but not go into Plan B yet.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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If I file a restraining order, how will I get 13yr old back and forth.
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17yr old wants to be on the restraining order as well.
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If I file a restraining order, how will I get 13yr old back and forth. The same way anyone else in Plan B does.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I would respond back to him and say: "I would never hit XW, so it doesn't sound like you were told the truth. I agree that DS should not push her and have spoken to him about this"
I think you should file a RO but not go into Plan B yet. ML - very good!!! I sent this.
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I am seriously considering restraining order and Plan B.
Her brother just sent me this text. "Heck of an example of a man you are setting for your sons. To lay a hand on a woman or allow your son to his mother is truly sickening."
Sound like she told her family I hit her. No, she's blaming you for the fact that the son allegedly hit her. Very typical. Cut him off - he's a hole in your Plan B, and you certainly don't need to talk to him now.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I finally talked to a law enforcement officer that was one of my best friends growing up and he also knows WW. He said I needed to take care of me first. Said many people do not get an ex parte (restraining order) because they are afraid to make the other person mad, but law enforcement is quick to favor the wife over a husband in a dispute. He was very knowledgeable and provided some good advice. I worked tonight on documenting yesterday's incident really well with a lot of detail. I also documented the previous incident where I called the police. That event showed how she would fake being hit, and it should be recorded on 911 tapes as evidence of how she would make something up. My friend reiterated the importance of documentation in these cases.
I also documented that she was leaving personal items in the house to get access, and that I eventually loaded everything up and took it to her house. That is why she was mad. A lawyer told her that if she still had personal items in the house, she would have legal access. I took that away from her on 4/13 by dropping her stuff at her house. Then I got the house secure as recommended by the vets.
My WW moved to a different county, not sure which circuit court to go to for the ex parte.
Last edited by DeepSorrow; 04/25/17 12:25 AM.
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DS, do you have a way to record every conversation? Most phones can do this or you can get a little pocket recorder at Walmart or Radio Shack.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes on my iPhone. I did record the conversation when MIL and WW came to house to move her out. Also, the conversation when I called the police the first time.
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