First of all, let me say today is a great day! Not only am I a true MB 'member' now, but my topic 'The difference between the Fog and Love' is on fire!! WOOHOO!<P>Anyway, my question, [H], and others who are further along in the process, goes like this:<P>Last night my ex came over to talk. I see signs of the fog lifting, at least I think I do. As I'm making this up as I go, I'd like to hear from those that have been there. Some things she said last night:<P>"I wish we could just go back"<P>"[OM} and I don't get along as well as you might think we do"<P>"I had everything (with you)"<P>"(My boss) has lost confidence in me"<P>"My worst nightmare is that you might move out of town"<P>"I miss you"<P>"I'm not and I don't want to move in with him"<P>"I'm growing up"<P>A quick update for those who aren't familiar with my story. I ended my relationship with my ex about 7 weeks ago. Since then, she's been living with a friend and seeing the OM, who also works with her. At the end of the month, we are both moving our things out of our common house. I'm moving about 20 minutes away.<P>Anyway, I feel that the Fog is lifting but that she's not quite there yet. I also suspect that she told the OM that she had to work last night, but instead came over to see me,... similar to what she was doing with me during the affair.<P>The last I told her (when I ended it) was that it was over and that I was not willing to work on it any further. At this point, after working on myself, I feel like I'm doing much better, in fact, I don't know if I would want to take the path to recovery with her if she asked. But I never burn my bridges.<P>My question is this, if her Fog is lifting, and she wants to come back, why hasn't she ended it with the OM? I want to tell her that we could at least talk about reconciling, but I don't think that's appropriate until she comes to the realization that she has to 'do the right thing' herself.<P>If I tell her that option may be open, and she comes running back, would it not be worse than her figuring that out on her own, ending it with OM and then seeing if there was a chance with us?<P>Am I missing an opportunity here, or is it the right thing to sit back, and continue doing what I'm doing? Thanks and all the best,

Redon - if she's being sincere, her words do sound like she's aware of what she might lose in you. But, if you're in Plan B, your response should be that you're not interested until she stops seeing OM and commits to the marriage - which she hasn't done. I presume you were talking to her only because she suggested that?<P>I have to admit that I don't know your story, so I don't understand how she's your "ex". I'll read some of your older posts to get more familiar. I didn't want to see your post fall off the page without a response.<P>WAT

Thanks, WAT, that's what I thought. Just wanted a little confirmation. I appreciate the reply!