I apologize. I can't seem to contribute to the posts like I should. I really feel dead and lifeless. H hasn't signed the lease yet but I'm certain that sometime this week, he'll have submitted his application for the apartment that he's going to move into in October. It's terrible right now. I'm at work and am useless. If I get up, I crumble. You guys were so helpful to me over the weekend but today is just back into the routine...and I can't get into it at all. I'm petrified, devastated, weak, fragile, etc. This is the beginning of the end and I've just realized that I can no longer stop it. It's like the truck has hit me and I can't go any further. He wants out and nothing I'm going to say or do is going to change his direction. I just realized how truly powerless I am.<P>What do I do?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terrified:<BR><B>What do I do?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I don't know what you should do, but know that I am feeling exactly the same today. Even left work for the day, because I can't cope.<P>But, we can make it through this.<P>

Dear T,<P>Having real strong feelings that you need a lot of support but maybe you need more than you can actually handle right now. Listen hon, this is a very hard I know. Please be aware that your emotions are running high right now. <P>I can offer you this piece of advice. Don't look too far into the future, the A causes many changes much of which we can not predict. Take small steps, focus on what is right now within your control. Leave thoughts of the D out of your mind unless you have the actual paperwork in your hands. If so, then there are ways of dealing with that as well. OK? <P>Are you having anxiety attacks? If yes, get someone closeby to keep an eye on you. It is ok. You are not carrying some dreaded disease to make others run from you. You need support right now and need to go get it. <P>Let me know if you need to talk ok? Many of us really understand where you are at right now. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>