Where do I start? My weekend began Friday with my mom telling me that my brother, who is already near death, was having surgery because his lung collapsed and they also can't figure out why he is not digesting food. I left work early to go to hospital for that. Some of you may have read my post from Friday about my kids being upset about our moving. If interested, here's the link:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/011953.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/011953.html</A> <P>Well, H called me while I was at the hospital, said he was very sorry to hear about my brother, and then proceeded to tell me that I HAVE to move in with my friend. He said he would not accept no for an answer. He insisted, and said it was not open for discussion. I told him, "I love you very much, and I want you to come back, but you are not with me now, and can't tell me what to do." He said, "Fine, then we can both go our separate ways, you get on with your life, and I'll get on with mine."<P>I said, "You mean, if I don't do as you say, we are through?" He said, "you are being obstinate. This is the best thing for everyone" I said, "we can't afford to pay what she wants and pay your rent, too." He said, "I'll work out with my brother that I won't have to pay rent." I said, "before I make my decision, is there a possibility that we are going to get back together?" He said, "well, we're going to discuss it and see where we're at." I said, "You are not answering my question. Is there a possibility in your mind that we will get back together? He said, "There's always the possibility." That wasn't what I was looking for, but I was too depressed to push. I said, "Fine, if you don't have to pay rent, we'll stay there. I'll discuss it with friend later."<P>Well, of course, everyone was on my case about letting him push me around. I'm just sick of arguing. I'm sick of fighting it. And I really didn't want to talk about it there at the hospital. Later, my sister said she would let me stay with her for $250/month, no utilities, no groceries. H said to do what I thought best.<P>Saturday morning he came over, and I was really sad about everything - spent the whole weekend being depressed. I told H, "I don't know if you want me to have hope in us getting back together or not. But, I am really hurting right now, and if you can't even comfort me, I can only assume that you don't want me to have hope in us." He came over and held me for a minute or two. That made me feel a little better.<P>Later, I went shopping with my mom, and was depressed the whole day. Then I went home, and stayed in bed all day.<P>Sunday, my H was trying to convince me again to stay with friend. He is so persistent. I don't know why he insists I stay with friend. My sister doesn't lives really close, too. Anyway, I told him I was emotionally exhausted, and I really didn't want to discuss it now. He understood and left it alone. He patted my head, and I said, "I'm losing everything." He said, "Please don't say that. You're not losing everything. You have to keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. I do - if I didn't I'd go insane. If we can endure this, everything will work out for the best." He was being really sweet, but really careful not to say anything to lead me on.<P>I'm so tired of this.<P>TIG

(((TIG))) I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I don't have many words of wisdom, as I seem to do it all wrong myself. My H moved back home after 4 month separation. So far, he doesn't want to talk about our relationship. He just wants to be home, and treat me like I'm a buddy and he says he "hopes" one day he'll love me again. I get very discouraged. My only advice to you would be to work on yourself. Work on your life and the lives of your children. Let your H work on his issues. It's much easier said than done; especially if you're like me, I want to fix everyone else. We have to let go of them to see if they want to fly away, or come back. I'm praying for you.

Myownme,<P>Thanks for the hug. I really need those right now. I've followed your story, so I know what's going on with you. I dread that part. I know my H will be back eventually, and the thought of living with him like that is scary.<P>I'm praying for you, also.<P>I just think these WS really push to the limit, and have alot of nerve. If it wasn't for my love for him, and for my kids, oh, the things I could do or say to him. I fantasize about those moments...<P>TIG