I asked my wife this morning if she would go out to dinner with me tomorrow night. She said yes! I do not want to attach undo significance on this, but do not want to underplay either. She asked me if I had a place in mind. I said no because I wanted to make sure she wanted to go first, but that I would let her know this evening. My thought is to go somewhere nice, but not "romantic". A comfortable place where there are many other people enjoying themselves. I hope to keep conversation light, but not avoid something if she feels compelled to discuss it. I thought that I might judge how dinner goes, and have an additional idea I could suggest to her to go to local coffee house to listen to folk music couple sing, have a cup of coffee after dinner, and then take her home. This last idea would not be sprung on her as a suprise, but I would let her know it is possible, and it would not hurt my feelings if she felt that dinner was enough for the evening. It may very well be that dinner is all that I will want from the evening, since I get tired very quickly anymore, and my appetite has still not returned. However, medication and time seems to be slowly bringing me out of this, and I felt that a non-threatining evening may just be a small dose of what we could use right now. What do you think? I need suggestions.<P>BrokenH

BrokenH,<P>great idea. Do go to a place where you feel comfortable and can have fun. Avoid planning the evening out as much as you can. It avoids dissappointment on the one hand and leaves room for spontaneity on the other.<P>Just relax, be yourself, be confident and go with the flow. You'll do great.<P>What kind of restaurant will you go to? Any ideas on this?<P>- Freddy

I was thinking of a local Mexican restaurant that she has always liked. It is open, airy and usually fun.<P>BrokenH

I'm sure you will have a great time. Just make up your mind to have a great time, as you have already decided and stick to that plan no matter what!<P>{{{{{hugs}}}}} <P>Maybe she is feeling like being around you (something stable) with all the chaos in the world right now. That's good. I say, take advantage of it! Maybe if you don't eat all day, your appetite will pick up by dinner! Good luck!

My #1 piece of advice is that you avoid at all costs getting drawn into conversation that could erupt into LBing. My W asked me to dinner shortly afer she moved out. First thing she attempted was to push my buttons. I overcame this, and we had a pretty good evening. It was a little bit uncomfortable in that mostly the remaining evening lacked any real conversation. Just small talk. BUT, I think my ability to stay cool in the face of her wanting to talk about affair stuff made a difference.<P> It was if she was testing me. Maybe I passed with flying colors maybe not, but I did not fail.<P> Good luck and try to enjoy the evening with the person you love. That in itself is reason to have a good time.<P> jd<P>