Hello to All, I have not been able to get on this site for 2 days! I don't know why. Anyway its so good to be back. As you know if you are familar with my story My h left on Sunday night. I am feeling very lost and alone for the past 2 days. I feel like a part of me has been ripped out. I feel like I can't cope anymore. Its funny because I don't miss the man that he has been this past 15 months I miss the man he used to be. Its so hard because he is staying with his mom and she leaves right on the next block so the kids want to ride their bikes over there. its such a confusing situation. I hope this gets easier and I get stronger Thanks everyone for listening. Love Sally

SS--I dug up a post from Mid July...about 2 months after d-day...<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010682.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010682.html</A> <P>I'm going to dig up one of my first posts...<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009002.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009002.html</A> <P>The changes are unbelievable...<P>You will get stronger...Time...Reading...Learning...Doing...<P>Take action for yourself...<P>Hugs and Prayers,<BR>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I><P><p>[This message has been edited by JustPlainCali (edited September 19, 2001).]

Hiii Sally (( )))))))!!!! Do you like icecream? Buy the yummiest kinds of Ben and Jerrys or Haagen Daaz and INDULGE! Take a hot bath or shower with candles. Buy a bunch of new magazines to read and nail polishes to try out. If your kids ask why daddy doesnt sleep at home anymore tell them what I told my 3- I said Daddy needs time to think ( midlife crisis!) and he is choosing to stay somewhere else at night. That way they didnt blame me for him being gone.( though he saw it as me kicking him out!) Read books about princess Di- even princesses arent immune from our kind of pain! Take care- lifeismessy

Hi Sally i havent really got advice for you, just wanted to say i know how you feel right now,<BR>My H has been gone 2 weeks, i asked him to go as i couldent live like it was.<BR>Our situation is so alike, we also have been together 26 years. married 21 years nov, and ny H has been seeing OW for 15months.<BR>I cant find my real H and it breaks my heart but it is easier to not have him here, now i dont know when he sees OW so thats easier.<BR>Also i hid it from kids and family for 15months now its out in the open and i dont have to put on this big act that all is well.<BR>If you have time my previous post will tell you what my H did last week , or rather the alien thats taken over his body!!!<BR>sending you big(((((((SS)))))) take care of you.<P>Liz<P>------------------<BR>lizzle<BR>The hardest thing to do is watch the person you love love someone else

Sally I hope you have friends and family to call for support every day. I found this SO helpful! At first I was embarassed to tell others my H had moved out but believe me when I opened up about it people surprised me by being SO SUPPORTIVE and caring during this time. I wanted to add that when your H is spending more time with OW it provides MORE Time for OW To LB and upset your H which should work in your favor.When my H moved out OW figured he was HERS for the taking she really upped the pressure on him to divorce me and commit to her- she urged him to look at apts on his lunch hrs, keep calling the divorce attorney, she wrote him letters saying they were soulmates and she wanted him FOREVER etc etc! This much pressure started to freak him out eventually and contributed to his wanting to move back in with me.lifeismessy

Sally:<P>Feeling depressed is okay. Remember though, that depression is sometimes referred to as anger turned inward. Try & let some of the anger go. I have been going through exactly the same as you. My H has been out for 1 week. It's awful. I'm lucky that i think my H is not with anyone at this time, but it would be the 1st time in 13years that he didn't have a OW.<P>I find my depression makes me weaker (which H preys on).<P>I have refused to be a doormat no matter how hurt or lonely I am. When he is ready to care about me & respect me they way I deserve to be then maybe we can reconcile. For now, just a different side of limbo land. At least I feel a tiny bit more in control.<P>Hope my venting helped. It helped me. lol<P><BR>((((hugs))))<P>Lisa