I can't take this anymore H just doesn't understand that I can't do this alone anymore. Kids, the house financialastress feel upset all the time. I can't live like this anymore. Our family is ruined we are looking at bankruptcy I don't know which way to turn. I can't talk to him because his answer is always the same we'll deal with it but he doesn't want to deal with the real issues at hand. Meaning us. I can't take anymore. I told him on the phone that he could have custody of the kids and I'll see them every other weekend. I just need a break before I go crazy. I can't handle the stress anymore. I don't know what to do. He doesn't care about anyonebut hmself. If he loved me and the kids he would at least put n effort forth to give us and his family another chance. I wish that I say I expect a recovery for me and my H but I don't see that happening. Thank you all for your encouragement, support and friendship over the last several months. <BR>C

are you on antidepressants? I am sorry you are going through this. Do you work outside the home? I know it is hard and it does sound like you need a break - can you go stay with your mom a little while? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you getting enough rest and eating right? I am worried about you cybil. We are all here for you but I know the pain is unbearable. Are you in counseling?

notheard yes, I am in counseling and yes I do take an anti-anxiety drug Buspar. SomedaysI feel so confident about everything and other days like today I feel so hopeless. I<BR>don't even want to do this anymore. I don't even feel sorry for myself I just don't feel anything. I just don't want to go on this way any longer. I wish he would just disappear. He seeems to think that I want him home just to help pay the bills. he refuses to deal with our problems. I just don't care anymore about anything. I love my kids more than life itself but I don't even have the energy to worry about what will happen. I know that H will take care of them. I just want to shut down. By the way yes I do work. I also take care of the house the dog 3 kids, all their activities and I just can't or maybe it's that I just don't want to do it anymore. Ifthat makes me a bad mother or a bad person I don't even care about that. Sorry for the negative reply it's all I can muster.<BR>C

Hang on Cybil, don't give up, I know where you are at, I am there to. Work, 3 kids, dog,homework, dinner after school sports, etc.. shall I go on. The point I am trying to make is I know the overwelhming feeling you are having right now and you have helped me many times when I was feeling this way, I wish I could make your pain go away, all I can say is I am right next to you, you are not alone. We will get through this. can you get your kids to bed early tonite? and take something to help you sleep? Maybe tmorrow will be a better day. I hope this helps a little ((((cybil)))) Love and Hugs Sally