My H has always refused the idea of individual counseling for him or for marriage counseling.<BR>Now that I have decided to give up and file for divorce, he suddenly is acting scared and wants to slow this process down. I did not file to try to get this reaction from him. It just became clear to me that he was not willing to change so I had to move on. The limbo was killing me.<P>Anyway, reading some posts here (ANB3) I was thinking about divorce counseling. I had always thought about the purpose of marriage counseling as getting people back together. I never thought about it being a healthly way to come to grips with the end of the marriage.<P>Has anyone suggested divorce counseling to their WS and if so, did it help?<P>I understand that he is the one who left home, who is having the affair and who refuses to work on marriage but it seems like having a counselor help us work through the feelings created by ending our marriage could be a really good thing. <P>Is this better done individually? I'm already in counseling and on meds so I feel like I'm more likely to have the tools in place to help me deal with this in a better way. I'm not belittling my pain or despair by any means, just saying that at least I'm developing a plan for how my life will continue. <P>He is not doing that and it can't be healthly. Should I just drop it and let OW worry about his mental state? <P>I'm confused. I want to help him but don't want to do anything wrong.<P>Thanks for the advice and the opportunity to vent a little on my other threads!!!<P>Lynn<P>
