Although I have a 2-year old D, all my relationships are with MARRIED people that I've known for what seems like forever. I know, I may be jumping the gun a little but I fear losing these relationships or the change that my separation will promise...can anyone offer any words of advice?

I feel that if these Married friends are truly friends then it shouldn't matter if your d or separated, they will stick by you no matter what if they really care thats my opinion. Also being separated is bound to make changes in friendships and your lifestyle but the changes don't have to be negative. I know how your feeling my H moved out 2 weeks ago and all these thoughts go threw your mind. Everything will work out my thoughts and prayers are with you. Love Sally

T,<BR>I felt this too. I hated going grocery shopping, cause all I saw was mothers, who OBVIOUSLY HAD A H at home they were shopping for! I felt like I had a big red BS on my forehead....I was a mess!!<P>This will pass. You've got to get a hold of yourself now. You've got to start thinking LONG TERM. If you want your M to survive this, there are things you need to start doing now. STOP your pity party. I know it's hard, and hurts like H@LL!! But it's not productive, so let's get it all out, then move on to more positive things, 'k? I slept a LOT (or tried to). I guess that's my way of escaping when I'm depressed. I realize you can only sleep when your little one is, but try to do that. Try to throw yourself more into HER and enjoy her right now, totally UNdivided time for her. This could work out to be a good thing for you and your D.<P>Yes, all true friends will still be friends. Don't go there just yet.....it's a little early to lower the flag and throw the dirt in on the casket....this M isn't dead, YET!! Hang in there, and start thinking LONG TERM. WHEN he comes home........like that........where do you want to be?<P>We're all here for you.<P>Lupo<P><BR>

Thanks SS and LL, Hugs to both of you. You're right. I am victimizing myself, aren't I!!! LL, I never used to even wonder but now I look at ring fingers, I look at couples and I look at families with ENVY. I want to be and feel NORMAL again, that's all.<P>SS, you're right. If they're true friends, they'll be around but the sad fact is that they'll also have to be his friends too, right? <P>Thanks to both of you for taking the time to respond to me since you're going through some tough times too. My prayers and hopeful thoughts go out to both of you.<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terrified:<BR><B>Thanks SS and LL, Hugs to both of you. You're right. I am victimizing myself, aren't I!!! LL, I never used to even wonder but now I look at ring fingers, I look at couples and I look at families with ENVY. I want to be and feel NORMAL again, that's all.<P>.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh God, you brought back so many feelings that I felt when my husband left me! I felt SO SORRY for myself, I was just paralyzed with grief! I thought I would never live through it. And I started looking at ALL couples with envy, thinking, how lucky that woman was that her husband didn't leave her! The self pity was all encompassing. I think the one thing that really saved my sanity was working out. I started working out every night and that alleviated the pain quite a bit, in addition to helping my overall mental health. [I still work out to this and am in the best shape of my adult life so that is one plus!] <P>Just know this, that it WILL get better! Big hugs to you, girl!<P>

I feel that way, I guess for me I did it to myself. All my friends except one kept telling me,"I told you so". You know what I did that helped a little? I started doing activities with my son. I know that when I focus on him, I do better. I know that I have put so much into my h. coming back that I get ornery with my s. when things go bad. What's good is to come back to this forum and feel like people care and understand. It's hard to be out there alone, but pray, it's going to be ok.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terrified:<BR><B>Although I have a 2-year old D, all my relationships are with MARRIED people that I've known for what seems like forever. I know, I may be jumping the gun a little but I fear losing these relationships or the change that my separation will promise...can anyone offer any words of advice?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Be strong, this is all normal. Don't worry about how others act. You will definitely find out who are the real friends and who aren't. Keep the real ones and find new ones as well that are in similar positions. You can't control your friends, only yourself. <BR>In the meantime... tend to your and your D's needs. Time to be a bit selfish here and find ways to pamper yourself. <P><BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dana114:<BR><B> Oh God, you brought back so many feelings that I felt when my husband left me! I felt SO SORRY for myself, I was just paralyzed with grief! I thought I would never live through it. And I started looking at ALL couples with envy, thinking, how lucky that woman was that her husband didn't leave her! The self pity was all encompassing. I think the one thing that really saved my sanity was working out. I started working out every night and that alleviated the pain quite a bit, in addition to helping my overall mental health. [I still work out to this and am in the best shape of my adult life so that is one plus!] <P>Just know this, that it WILL get better! Big hugs to you, girl!<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Working out is a BIG stress buster and such WONDERFUL benefits too! I did/do the same! Get some bopping upbeat cd's, pop them into your walkman and get going. It seems hard at first to get into it, but after a few days, it is an activity that you will look forward to.<P>Also - interestingly enough - I look at the single women with envy. What does that say about ME? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm<P><BR>