Hi Everyone,<p> Well, first let me say that all my Thanksgiving plans were dashed. My daughter got sick yesterday, running 104 temp. Thowing up....yuck. Anyway we decided she was too sick to be out, so I decided to stay home with her today. W and other children went ahead with plans to spend today with friends [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p> Also got some added news that soured my day early this morning. Wifes car had broken down at the college where she takes classes. This happened last Monday while I was at work. I have been trying to get wife to help me pull the car home so I could fix it(fuel pump) for her. Each time I ask she told me that it was not important enough to bother with until after Thanksgiving.<p> Well, I woke early this morning and decided to be a little more insistant. I feared someone might vandalize it with it sitting at the college for this long. <p> After stressing this to her she finally came clean. Not only did she call OM #3 to look at it on Monday night and give her a ride home. She also asked him to fix it for her. <p> This is another blow to me and us. I have always taken care of this kind of stuff and she knows it. This is not something new for me(working on automobiles). <p> I feel like I am being replaced a little more each week. <p> I have my Plan B letter ready. Just finished it today. Waiting for friends to look it over. Then I will probably post it here for more feedback from you all.<p> I hope everyone is having a blessed Thanksgiving.<p> jd

Hi jd,<p>Yep, I have been there with the multiple OW and the dashed hopes during the holiday season, which makes it feel so much worse. <p>I am so very sorry for your pain, especially as we enter the holiday season. I was there in 1999 and into the grand change of the century -- NY Eve, 2000, will be in my memory for life (that would be the one that (now-ex)H said he'd spend with me and the kids, but spent with the OW#5 instead.)<p>It hurts! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] I know!! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] And, I'm just sorry...<p>[ November 22, 2001: Message edited by: Nyneve ]</p>

I'm really sorry too, JD. Like Nyneve said, I too have experienced the serial A's. For some unknown reason Holidays seem to bring out the worse in WS's. Hurts unbelievably to see their loyalty and allegiance to OP. Their compassion and respect for BS seems to be non-existent.<p>Please take care of yourself and daughter. Know that you're not alone in your plight.<p>Love,
Jo

jd,<p>sorry. hope your daughter is feeling better. <p>sheryl,<p>hey sounds as if you spent the same New's eve as me that yr but we get to add Christmas where now STBX left out home to see OW & her family for a few hrs. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] should never let him in after that, New Year's day he cried and said that he was miserable that he should had been home with us. yeah right.<p>well this thanksgiving is his 1st holiday living with the OW, and he has my sons, think I am doing better than he was, he wanted to bring them home before today, because it wouldn't be much fun for the boys to be around people they didn't know, well I said he needed to keep them or let them decided, but implied sounds as if you don't want them.<p>I am actually having a nice day by myself, of course it is easier to know that I had places to go if I wanted but I need to study and I thought I be sadder with people that we spent holidays with before, our last really happy Thanksgiving 3 yrs ago<p>Guess your kids our in CA.<p>Hope both of your days go well.

Hi again everyone,<p>Oh yeah, it sooooo sux.<p>That year, when I thought the turn of the century could mean the healing of our marriage, he called at FIVE MINUTES before midnight and said, "I'm hurrying, I'm only 15 minutes away"... know what I said? "Go back, you couldn't be here for the actual change of one year to another, so skip it"... (I wrote about it here at the time, of course)... so he goes back and say, "Boo Hoo, my wife doesn't want me"... I know this because he called me at 4 am in tears... Yeah, I let him come over, and thus begun the very last effort we ever made for a true reconciliation.<p>I called over there today, to wish my kids still living with him a Happy Thanksgiving, and as I'm talking to my daughter I hear his cell go off in the bankground -- know what? It ticked me off all over again. She called him on it all the time, and the song when it rings is the same... it's THANKSGIVING, for goodness sake! Who would call on his cell today? Sheesh.<p>Okay, vent over... hope that was okay, jd. <p>See, we all have these lovely memories... it is just SO SAD! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Dear JD,<p>I am sorry to hear your little one is sick. You are a rock & a great dad for being there to take care of her. Hmmmmm..... kinda funny, if it was me, I'd send H with the kids and the mom would stay home. Makes you wonder where their heads are sometimes. <p>The car thing? Yes, I am sure it hurts. This is your prde she is wounding. Now what did she do with the car from Monday til now? Just look at her and shake your head. Let the OM do some work JD, he will realize it is not all peaches and cream. By the way, let him pay for the parts tooo!<p>She wants to do that? For me when OW washed WS' clothes, I told him they smelled when he came back and rewashed them. I also found fur on his clothes and told him to clean it up before I would let her stench in my house. She was not a real smelly person but I could tell what was not ours. Ya know? You have every right to be protective of what is done to your stuff. <p>I think in a way she is using that 'ol WS trick to push your buttons so that you push her out and she can put the blame on you. <p>Know this and watch.....then plan how you will react. You can still plan B her in this mode. Just be careful. <p>Take Care,
L.

bummer jd, no reason to not let you take care of car, isn't like a lifetime comnmittment to ya or something.....but ya know, I guess it is a message, she just wants as few connections as possible, doesn't mean she thinks you are a bad guy, she just doesn't want to be married. Remember it is never about the bs, it is about the ws, we (for better or worse) made a choice, and various consequences for everyone follows, but it is not cause you are a bad person.....I know that doesn't help much, can't see the difference between rejecting the marriage, and rejecting you, but there is a difference, and it is important.

jd,
I'm checking in for just a second at my Aunt's house [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . I was worried about ya. I sent you an e-mail....<p>Hang in there friend... please try to enjoy your day. There are friends and family who love and care about you. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'll check back in later. Great advice here... <p>Faith1

Hi JD sorry for your pain sending a hug (((JD)))
i know what you mean about feeling replaced, ive always cut my H hair, and then kids lent clippers to someone so H went out and baught new ones and OW cut his hair.
Silly really but i felt devastated felt it was one more thing she stole.
Love to you
Liz

I just wanted to thank you ALL, and tell you I have posted the Plan B letter. I ask that you give your great advice on that as well.<p> Please, hold nothing back. Kick me in the a$$ where I need it. I want the letter to be as perfect as possible.<p> Thanks again Everyone<p> jd

Hi jdmac1,
Well, it seems that you were pretty discouraged after finding out the truth about the car. BUT look at it this way... Could it have been God protecting you by not allowing you to spend Thanksgiving together with your W? Perhaps it was best for you not to spend that extra time with her because it would have hurt you even more to find out what happened with her car???<p>Well, that's how I see it... Seems that this incident gave you the courage to draft your Plan B letter (to protect yourself and your love for your W) even further. You still have a lot of hope for reconciliation so don't give up! Keep the faith!