Do not want to force or make things happen, but as of recent setback.. really would like to know how to bring H back into our world.. he is busy out in his own world. TOday sd... now wants to be by himself forever, thinks he likes it this way.. THE ALIEN SPEAKS, this is not my husband of 17 yrs. No forcing, beggin, pleading, or insistence, just gentle plan a style??? looking forward to a lonely weekend. HONEY

Honey,
I've been following your post. If I could, I would like to offer a suggestion on what you've just ask. You say "how can I make" the answer is you can't make anyone else do anything. The only person you can now or ever will be able to MAKE do something is yourself - and your children if they are small enought to be physicall overpowered by you - haha - but only until they out grow you - then you can't MAKE them do anything either. I work with children who have ODD - that's oppositional defiant disorder - it means they bulk authority - they refuse to be made and often will do the opposite even if they know it's got dire consequenses just for the undying need to be able to choose it themselves - the reasons they do this are too numerous to go into here but they do.
Anyway, I work with thier parents - I work to help them learn to give them choices and learn self guidance and to make the right choices. To make this long story short - You can't make him - I would suggest that you think of something that YOU would like to do this weekend. I understand that you may be short of cash but something - anything - think back to before you even knew him - what did you like? what did you like about yourself? what did you want to be when you grew up if you could be anything? Did you like art, music, reading, etc. did you want to be an actress? What would you be now if you could be anything - if he never exisisted - if you hadn't met him? Begin to do that - he will notice - he will see and you can't loose - even if he doesn't come around - you've found you again - the honey you were when you were younger - the honey you wanted to be - you can still do it. So, go to a movie - call an old friend - take a long drive to a town that you use to know - start the long process of finding YOU again - if he then wants to come along for the ride - all the better -
anyway, good luck - keep your chin up and as my mom once told me - Remember who you are.

Don't hug the alien!!!<p>L.

honey,<p>You can only ATTRACT. And you need to be patient and put your best foot forward to give him a REASON to want to be with you.

Thanks again kids, I am going to do what I want to do this weekend, who cares about the ALIEN anyway... let him go play darts.. I am tired of being desperate, needy and wanting to hug aliens.. all he wants to do is play darts... and btw.. this is not the kind of man I want anyway... so if darts it be for him.. .art museums, acting classes, long walks in the woods, reading, piano playing, growing, studying , going back to school, spending time with my kids, and trying to get them to be normal... <p>MY H is kind of like the opostional defiant child.. you know - he does the opposite of what others want him to do.. so fine.. if I ignore him - he will probably come running... sad but true... I married an alcholic child.<p>thanks, honey [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

Honey,
I think you've got it. Take care of yourself and your kids - no matter what - and remember that when you do that - the right things just seem to fall into place.
Remember - we are more attracted to "light" than to "darkness"

Honey,
I think you've got it. Take care of yourself and your kids - no matter what - and remember that when you do that - the right things just seem to fall into place.
Remember - we are more attracted to "light" than to "darkness"

Thanks very much everyone, feeloing even better again... tired of his stupidy and the darts lifestyle... prefer the things I like, and the things we used to do anyway.. not the OW's kind of fun.. .he is wanting me to do with him anyway... I will be me again! Yes I will. HONEY