Hello Every One,<p>First of all I would like to tell every one, I have been on both sides of the fence. I have been married for Nineteen years. The first three years my husband cheated on me with this old girl friend. "I think I was his rebound." I was so upset,hurt and scared. I was so deeply in love with this man. I was unable to support myself alone. I stayed because I was young and dumb!<p>Our marriage seemed to go on. We picked up the pieces and started over. Over peorids of many years my H always would hide porn magazines and video. Don't think I'm a miss goody two shoe's...I'm not......I feel if a couple wants to
watch these together, to spice up their sex life fine. <p>Then he was hooked on the internet watching live cams behide my back. I told him....How I felt about this many times......I was crazy...this wasn't happening ect....You all know the same old story. I felt like he was cheating on me again. However, he doesn't see it that way. <p>Many years of hurt, anger.......I did to him what I never thought in a million years I would or could do....I slept with another guy. The biggest mistake of my life!!!!! My H could not handle this at all! He was cussing me....cring and every emotion in between.<p>Aemotional wirl wind that's for sure. My H and I lived apart for the last year. Just this past Oct...I let H move back home. He said he wants his family...So do I.......<p>Now, I find he's back on the Cam. YUCK!!! Some peole might find this OK....I feel it's cheating.
Help me...WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH???<p>SOULSEARCHIN

soulsearchin,<p>I've been in your shoes and I am hanging by a thread with my marriage because of similar concerns with my H viewing porn, the dreaded webcam, phone sex, cybersex etc. He fell "in love" over the net and phone with at least one of his cyber sluts (she was a married mother of 3).<p>It's cheating, plain and simple. You can read more about my long journey through this muck called cyberinfidelity just by reading through my posts (look under my profile-my name is Bluebird).<p>I was worried about my H viewing porn and once I did some heavy duty snooping, I found out it was more than just prn. He also told me I was crazy, he denied what he was doing. I ended up having to print up the cold hard truth from some hidden software I installed on the computer. A few of us have been through this problem. There is also a recorded radio show here at marriage builders where Dr Harley talks with a man whose wife is having an online affair..here's the link.http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ramfiles/Radio1a.ram<p>Read, post and read some more. Sorry you need to be here but welcome.<p>Bluebird

The subject of porn, cybersex and online affairs cover a broad spectrum of things. With internet adult viewing, the process can be purely recreational fantasy and stimuli for a healthy relationship AS LONG AS IT ISN"T AN AddICTION. When it replaces the normal feelings and creates an entire fantasy world for the user, it's a problem.<p>Live cams can be summarized the same way, assuming your H isn't providing shots of himself and interacting--that would definetly fall into the category of infidelity. If he's showing his goods and someone else to him, it's computer mutual masturbation. Doesn't matter if the person is in the same room or across the world.<p>Online affairs through email, IM and other methods easily fall in the ranks of infidelity if it meets the criteria of fulfilling his EN's that you aren't fulfilling. DOn't misinterpret--I'm not trying to cast any blame on you, simply defining an online affair.<p>You, your H, counselor have to determine where H is at amidst all of that. It sounds like he is in the stages of being an addict--not good. There are many links on the web to dig a little deeper.<p>Hope that helps, God Bless<p>Guido

My H has done the cyber porn sites...and also has quite a library of porno movies and magazines...i have never liked any of this...course, he blames me and says if we had more or better sex he wouldnt have to...thus the viscious cycle of our life.<p>H hasnt been working the last 6 months...and is on the computer alot these days...I have no idea how much porn he is into...or whether he is chatting with any women...(he was chatting and calling one in particular for awhile)...but I'm just not going to sneak around and spy on him...i did that and it made me just nuts...<p>Anyway, I do think things are improving here tho....