TO Chris (CA123)

Thank you for your repply.
My wife and I are talking a lot these last few days. She is still living in her own apartament. And OM# 2 is visiting her and sleeping there too. She did invite me there to fix my daughter computer.Do I take this oportunity to make some deposits? She always tells me that she want to be my fried. What does it mean? She is openning up more.

She is still living in her own apartament. And OM# 2 is visiting her and sleeping there too. She did invite me there to fix my daughter computer
Is your daughter living with your wife while om spends the night? If so , DO NOT LET IT HAPPEN! Do what you have to, to protect your daughter. It is not okay for your daughter to be around om while you are still married. It is NOT okay to have him spend the night while she is there. Think of what it is teaching your daughter.

Do I take this oportunity to make some deposits?
Absolutely!

She always tells me that she want to be my fried. What does it mean?
This means feelings are still there. She thinks you can "be friends" while she has a boyfriend. This is true for a while 'till you get tired of her flaunting her affair in your face. Suck it up for a while. You don't have to agree with it or do things to facilitate it though.

You are working towards your wife seeing, "he still loves me even though I am putting it in his face." When om starts to lb, you can be the good guy. This is all Plan A.

TO Chris (CA123)

She always tells me to find a new gilrfriend? Is she feeling guilty? When I was having my affair she tried to sabotage it. She asked her gilfriends to call my OW house to bad mouth me….What can I do to bring my wife back home?

We'll be together next week,because she is going to cook my favorite meal...I go to her apartment.

She always tells me to find a new gilrfriend? Is she feeling guilty?
Y&es she is. It' also to "help you" move on. It's also to show her that you are not committed to the marriage.

As long as you are married (until the day the divorce is final) ACT like it! Don't date, don't hang out with the ladies, don't "just have dinner" with female friends.

She asked her gilfriends to call my OW house to bad mouth me….
What do you mean, your ow (other woman)? Are you having an affair too?

No. I did have a revenge affair 5 months ago.At that time she was trying to sabotage my relationship with OW. I have invited her to have a diner with me and she always tells me "bring that old girlfriend with you". I think she was and still is jealous.I sent the Ow a No Contact letter and I'm committed to my marriage and trying to be a better person.

Here is plan A letter from the master WAT

Did you get a copy of your NC letter to your W ?.

-rh-

We are talking more. I'm hopeful but cautious. You never know a WS state of mind. Thank you all for your help. I'm very pleased the way we are dealing with all our problems right now.

lost husband:
Make it safe for her to return ... no LB, no R talk ... if you do, stop the blame game and just listen to her. -rh-

Hi

Today afternoon I’ll go to my wife apartament to have a lunch after two years apart. What do I do?

Lost Husband,

You go and you be pleasant and decent. As Redhat said "Make it safe for her to return ..."

Don't talk at this time about your relationship and trying to get back together. Spend some time with her and talk about the things that you know she likes.

Do not get angry, listen to what she says. If she talks about the mistakes you have both made then listen to her and dont blame her for feeling the way she does.

It's the start for you, so try not to rush. Neil.

To all

My wife did not give up OM#2. Do I keep my plan A? I did send her a Plan A letter. What can I do?

To Jen Brown

We don’ t have any legal sepparation yet… We are still married.

“How is your M before A ?, any good happy memory ?, basically what is your M history ?. Any insight on what she complaint about leading to A ? ... any ENs ignored ? ... do you have A prior to hers ?. Any childhood or family problems that attributed to her behavior ?. Even we are in 22nd Century, woman are not likely to be come philanderer ... specially with offspring, it is not as common as men. Who took care of your D ? ... living with them for the past 2 years+ ?”

Our marriage was pretty good. We never fought each other. I take care of all the bills and mortgage. We always went out together. We went to Florida many times and Brazil. We enjoyed each other very much. I was so happy.But in the last two years I bought a computer and spent many hours on line(My mistakes) and she started complaining about it, but I didn’t care ,because I was too busy. I did ignore her needs completely. No, I did not have any Affair prior to hear.

“What have you done in 2 years of their R ? ... why do you want your WW back after 2 years and 2 men ? ....”
When I found out about her affair I kicked her out of the house and she took my daughter to live with OM #1. I want her back,because I read SAA and HNHN and I know what I did wrong.. I love her and I hope that she give me one chance.

“This is what you need to recollect ... you have to show care to her, this is one of her need ... now be specific about what she said that you do to show not caring ?. This is one of the basis of your plan A !!!, you have to show changes and capable of changed. After that think again what else she complaint about you .... detail, detail ... I would make a note with a heading of "not caring" then have two columns, one side what she said about it and one side what you do to show changes, actions, actions and actions !!!!.”

She complained about many hours I spent on line. And when my daughter was born she started complaining that I was giving all my love and affection to my daugther. Sometimes I did not bring her flowers on her birthday she always complainded about that. And I did not give a kiss in the morning or afternoon….

"WE BOTH MADE MISTAKES" SHE SAID TO ME YESTERDAY....

She asked to be her friend.. What does it mean?

I have been talking with my wife on the phone and I tell her all the time how much I love her,but she did not give up OM and she always tells me tha I can love her as a friend. I'm losing all my hopes. I did send her a Plan A letter. How long do I have to wait? Please , I need help.

Kewl Name,,

Anyway, I'm curious because I haven't seen it yet, how old is your daughter and how often are you seeing her?

You need to slow down and breathe, take time to read through the information on this site. You mentioned that you are in a Plan A, but then you say that you ask her all the time to come back. This is obviously a LB. Begging and pleading are not attractive traits that will drive her back into your arms.

Best of luck,

I have been talking with my wife on the phone and I tell her all the time how much I love her,but she did not give up OM and she always tells me tha I can love her as a friend. I'm losing all my hopes. I did send her a Plan A letter. How long do I have to wait? Please , I need help.

We get along very well when we talked, but when we changed the subject to our relantionship,she always tells me she will never be with me again ou come back home and tells me that our daughter will get over it..What can I do? She likes my attention...