I was thinkin about calling and getting an appointment with the Harleys...I would love to hear how it goes and your experiences.
I am a little scared to do it...like the first call to my counselor...eek.

M&L - you pick up the phone. Talk to the receptionist and they make an appt. for one of the Harleys to talk to you alone first. Then after that, they will decide what you should do. Your husband may not be willing to talk with the harleys. You can do a conversation with the two of you on the phone at the same time. But they may want to counsel with just you first.

It is a good program, there are a lot of good policies. LIKE POJA, Policy of Joint Agreement. That is an excellent policy, and for a good marriage to survive, this is so important. There are many good statements said, and the only way that it will work, is if both of you are truly committed to the marriage. The OP is totally (100%) out of the picture.

When we were counseling, the other person was not out of the picture. And we couldn't move forward. Cause he was getting his needs by the OW, and getting needs by myself. So he was having his cake and eating it too.

There needs to be total focus on each other and building the love bank. Deposits will be placed in the love bank, when there is thoughtfulness, caring, and sensitivity to the spouse.

Good luck, give it a try, and it is only the phone. The phone doesn't bite, it may rattle, but doesn't strike. Take pride in yourself, and make this important call.

Be ready ... it will save you some $ and much needed time to work on your M. Read as much as you can about the MB concept and jolt down questions, write down the history of your M speciall the problem that you think in this M, FIllin ENQ/LBQ as if your spouse doing it ... again the ready you are the faster the session is going to be and he could give you advice right away.

SH or Jennifer are booked solid, you call as soon as possible, your appt. might be 2-3 weeks later. Make sure right after your first session you schedule another one right away per SH or Jennifer direction.

I always tell people to get advice from them, we are just a bunch of layman.

-rh-

My FWH and I both counsel with SH. We have our 6th session Friday. First time, he spoke to us both for a few minutes, then spent rest of time with my H. Then I had a session alone, rest of sessions have been joint.

I think the sessions have been very valuable...he not only gives much needed answers but he gives us very practical ideas and plans on how to deal with everything. Like anything the more you put into it the more you get out of it.

Other good thing is that you can get in as frequently as you need to we usually do 2 sessions a week...we are on the fast track. We want A to be processed and have our plans in place to keep us safe and happy in the future..no since dragging it out!

Today marks 10 wks post dday and we are doing awesome! SH says we are the model recovery couple..both equally comitted...both do our assignments right away...still in love with each other.

Prior to first session I would suggest both filling out EN's, love busters, personal history's and SH's assistant gives you a website to fill out another questionairre. Again the more agressive you are as opposed to passive..the faster you get to the good spots. We did all this ahead of time and faxed it to SH.

This allowed us to get right down to business with him. We probably won't do more then another session or two.

He's very smart, perceptive and of course lots of history/experience.

Money well spent...good luck!

Money well spent! I have had several session with Jennifer and they have been great. My WW is still in the fog and will not join me. It is better if both of you are willing to do it, but I have found it very helpful even if my W does not want to participate.

Steve Harley is the best time and money I spent on counseling. Exceptional, quick, honest, effective, thorough.
Do your homework before and after. It'll be worth it!
He went as far as he could with my W, who resisted all the way, but by not fault of Steve's.

Do it!
I ditto what the others have said about the Harley's.

Just like space, WH chose not to recover, but I was helped a lot. I felt like I had a plan. There was so much going on in my head, it was a blessing to give it some direction.

You will be thankfull that you did it.

D.

I will say that I counselled with Steve Harley. It was extremely helpful. I did follow his advice to the letter but my WW was not willing to counsel with him and in time it was clear that we were not going to work out.

I personally think he gave me the best advice of the MC's I used. Feel confident and use them.

m&l:

I would also recommend that you try calling Joyce Harley on her radio show and speak with Dr. Willard Harley himself (Joyce's husband <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). See the radio link at the top of the page for the telephone number. Afterall, he started this stuff. If you get through, Dr. H will be able to give you maybe 10-15 minutes with your questions. I've called and gotten through twice. Just be sure to call the show about 10 minutes early (show starts at 1 pm CST on Mondays and Thursday). You would be surprised how much help Dr. Harley can be in just 10-15 minutes.

I also did telephone coaching with Steve Harley. I think I figured the other day that I spoke with him over 30 times in 8 months trying to repair our marriage. Steve Harley does not take quite as 'heavy-handed' or strict MB approach as his father. My WW never bought into the principles. She also didn't like the idea of 'homework' (questionnaires). Usually men have an easier time 'buying into' the MB concepts and principles. Good luck to you.

HoFS

I've had 3 session with Steve. My WH had one on Tues. He has been better since his talk with Steve. Steve was encouraged that my WH bought into his concepts and he felt that their session was productive. However, my WH has not done the questionnaires. That's bothersome. I like it that Steve is so encouraging and hopeful. I haven't given up yet.

Thanks everyone! That is very encouraging and I will take the steps to get it going.

H and I just finished EN questionare....any suggestions how to proceed from here? We have read each others responses and now just need to discuss them and ways to start better meeting needs. We have been doing this to a point for quite awhile but need to progress...move to the next step.

Thanks again!