I'm getting a little frustrated at this stale mate I seem to be in. I was thinking about getting info., prices, ect. on selling our home. If she sees these papers, do you think it might make her realize the ramafacations? Maybe she might want to work on us? Or would it just be a waste of time?
What do all of you think

One short sentence .... you are not making safe for her to return. I have to go but post later to you. -rh-

redhat:
I would love to learn your viewpoint on my situation. Please review my posts if you can.
Thanks.

<small>[ January 25, 2003, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

IMD...IF you are truly not interested in selling your home for your own reasons...don't play games! If you think you might want to sell the home if the marriage doesn't survive, then there is nothing wrong with discovering what the home is worth, how hard it would be in your area to sell, etc. But be sure that it is a real possiblity. If you just game play, she's going to know it and resent it. jmho

I agree, don't sell it unless you really want to. In my state, if you buy another house while you are M she will get half of that also. Maybe you could check with a lawyer on that.
STTSI

I would hate to sell our house that we worked so hard to get. It's just that if she decides to leave, I would not be able to make the bills. I'm just try to plan ahead. I don't want it to be taken from us.

By all means look into what you might have to do if things don't go the way you hope. Being prepared for an unhappy outcome is better then being unprepared.

Just don't do it to try to get her to "wake up". I would think this is something that both of you should discuss before you even get the information...just as a "heads up", I'm looking into what we would have to do if our marriage doesn't survive type of conversation.

It may well have the added benefit of making her realize just how different her life may be if she continues on the path she has choosen...just don't count on it!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by I'm Devestated:
<strong>I would hate to sell our house that we worked so hard to get. It's just that if she decides to leave, I would not be able to make the bills. I'm just try to plan ahead. I don't want it to be taken from us.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, let the control on her not you. If she decide to leave you have to sell in many states (50%) ... however don't be despair, I had to sell my 6 units apartment that I busted my rear behind to fix ... I thought I would never be able to afford a house. I did buy a house with exchange proceed ... Actually I would talk to accountant that understand real eastate. It would be wise to buy her out if you could. Don't do anything for now.

-rh-

PS: mimi1254 ... I would read and reply to your post tonight.

Rent out a room or two.

I agree with the others. I know the frustration you're feeling and had similar thoughts myself. I moved out myself after custody was settled and my W quickly started talking about selling the house. I said that was fine with me. After 5 months of no movement on the house, I did some research and realized I was able to afford it myself, so now I'm buying her out. For whatever reason, she took no iniative with the house so finally I had to, as a result she's buying a TH not too far away.

The house is more than I need and will be a little tough financially, but it will give my daughter the stability of staying in the only home she's known. Also, if my W ever reconsiders our marriage (not likely and not sure I'm interested anymore) she'll have a place to come home to.

Keep the house unless financially impossible. Also, even if she leaves, she's still financially responsible for her share. Don't let her off the hook.

sad dad

I would keep the house if at all possible. This is a home where you two began your life. Like someone else said, rent a room out if you have to. I have thought of that too, if I were to get the house. The economy is so bad right now, houses are selling, but according to the realtor I had, some houses are selling, but the people selling are desperate to move, and will go for a lower dollar. He said, if all possible. Keep the house I am in till our youngest son is out of school.

This is not to wake her up! This is a game you are playing, and I wouldn't play the game. Be honest with her, that you would like to keep the house, but if finances shows that this is not feasible, that the house will have to go up for sale. But this is not the right time to sell.

Also, I would think this would be a lovebusting technic. Just my opinion.

I guess it's a matter of each individuals' situation being different than the others...

In my case, my WW (about 3 months) has suggested that if things do work out between us that she feels the current home that we are in is too big for the two of us. She suggested that maybe we look at putting the home on the market and purchasing something else for a "fresh start".

My plan is this, I am going to wait a couple of months to do anything at all. After that time, I am going to put my house up for sale regardless. If she is starting to head home, we will shop together. If she isn't, I will shop alone. Either way, I want a fresh start either with or without her.

We don't have kids, I realize this is a factor. But additionally, I can't imagine starting my life with someone else if my marriage does not work and bringing them into the home that I shared with my wife. It just seems to be too many conflicting memories. No matter what happens, the house needs to go at some point in my opinion. Either a fresh start for the two of us together, or a fresh start for myself alone.

My two cents.....