If you know my story please help me out. First of all, I did open the mail. Just as I thought, lots of calls to one #.Still don't know who it is because it's unlisted.
Anyway, yesterday morning I asked my wife if she wanted to take the kids to Burger King for dinner. She said ok. I get home and tell the kids where we are going, and that we would leave when mommy gets home, which is around 5:45. At 6:40 she calls and says "I wanted to let you know that I'm at my mom's, but you probably already knew this." I told her that we had been waiting for her to come home, and she asked why. I said remember our dinner plans? She said that she forgot and sounded upset. She said I'll meet you there, and I said ok. When she arrived I could tell that she had been crying, so I did'nt ask questions there.
After we put the kids to bed, I asked her what was wrong, and she said "nothing". I said I could tell she had been crying and she said she had a tough day at work. I asked if she wanted to talk about it, and she said no.
What I'm getting to that I don't know if I can take this anymore. She won't talk to me, showes me no affection or anything. And I think it's starting to affect the kids. Should I tell her that we cant go on like this and try to get her to talk? Or should I try and stick to plan A?
Any imput would be appreciated.
Thanks
P.S I sure wish there was a way to trace an unlisted cell # <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

If you have the number why not just call it? I think you should stick to plan a for now and try to avoid situations where the kids are brought into it. Do things with them on your own then they won't be upset if your W doesn't show up. Just my opinion

MJ, I have called the #, but I just get a message. The man does not say his name.

I'm thinking on doing this discussion this weekend, so any help I can get would be great.
PLEASE

In this discussion you are thinking of beginning this weekend...do you plan to confront her about her behavior with the calls? Are you ready to make a stand? Are you ready to hear the truth? Have you a plan on where you want to go from here...either trying to save the marriage or leave?

If the answer is yes, then YOU be honest. Even if she isn't being truthful. You tell her exactly what you know, what you think you know but don't have the proof of YET, and what it is that you expect of her and of YOURSELF.

If the answer is no, and you're only going to discuss your displeasure of her being distance and uncommunicative...then why bother? She'll only become defensive and justify her behavior if not to you...then to herself and continue on her betraying path.

Good Luck.

Intresting information. While talking to MIL the other day, she told me that my wife came over to her house around 2pm,(she does'nt get off work untill 5:30).This is same the day that we took the kids to BK and it looked like she had been crying. MIL said that she seemed quite upset but would not discuss it with her. So I'm thinking that maybe OM did a big LB, or the possible A may be over. What do you think. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Could there be light at the end of the tunnel or am I just missreading things.

possible, possible. looks like your WW is going through a tough time (and WS do that, being torn from one side to the other), but out of shame/guilt/disappointment in you/whatever decided not to share this with you. at this point, be supportive. mention that you notice the stress she is under, offer your help. or even better: just help. and let her know that it is safe for her to talk to you. (but mentally, get ready for a real bummer)

Could be that OM has dumped her and she is bummed out, but without the facts this is nothing more than conjecture. Give her some space and don't love bust her and she may decide to open up to you if she feels emotionally safe with you. Good luck.

Bilbo, I have called phone company on numbers I didn't recognize and they will usually give me the name of the owner of the number. Why haven'ta you tried this.
I mean I do it so I don't pay for calls that have inadvertantly been charged to our phone and not legit?
Of course, you know they're legit, but phone co. doesn't know your reason for calling.
After all, you do have a right to know what calls you're paying for.
Worth a try.
And yes, we've actually had calls charged to us that weren't made by us!
God Bless, LouLou

ladyLou, The reason I have'nt called the phone Co. is because on the statements all incomming calls shows her cell phone #. It's the outgoing calls that state what # is dialed. So I don't think they would tell me outgoing #'s, because you know the person you are calling.

Thanks everyone. I've decided not to have the big talk this weekend. Mainly because of the possible change of things. If something did happen with the OM, then I don't want to add fuel to the fire. I will try and patiently wait and continue plan A'ing.

Bilbo? Are you also on the cell phone or billing?
If so, they will tell you outgoing calls if you complain you do not recognize number and want verification in case you forgot making those calls. Or in case someone used your phone without permission to make those calls. Play the forgetful games! Plus, my daughter had a way of checking her ex's cell phone and could read or hear the messages somehow recorded there? Dont' know how though. Will ask her. LouLou

Unfortunatly ladylou, I'm not on the cellphone acct., thats what is making this so tough.
Update.. The W has been home the last 5 nights. The last couple of days she has been a little more her normal self. Still has'nt said any I love you's, but does'nt seem to be as aggitated. I'm praying that her possible A is over, but I will have to wait untill the next bill arrives, AT THE END OF THE MONTH <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> !!!! Trying to figure out when to talk to her again about MC. Maybe for now seperate MC would be a good start. So she wont have to open up in front of me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />