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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 63
Z
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Z Offline
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 63
I actually posted this in Plan A/B I think, but I guess it's more applicable here. Sorry...

The problem is, she's like a lawyer and thinks faster on her feet than I do. And she's already used a couple things I've given her to read against me ... not in a really bad way but in a way to get what she wants. I've never been very good at reasoning some things out with her since she can speak circles around me at times.

We still have the issue of her working part time at place where OM works. How do I tell her she needs to leave withtout perfoming a major LB? I've tried to have her read some of the material on this matter hoping she would take the step on her own, but I don't think it's going to happen.

How should I approach this, and should I let her read Surviving An Affair?

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
C
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Posts: 8,016
Sounds as if your relationship is not in a place where you can use POJA.

The best way is for you to read it, know it & do it. Show her how it works for a relationship. Trying to "educate" the ws is a LB. Telling them how they "need " to read MB stuff and use it is not gonna work.

How do I tell her she needs to leave withtout perfoming a major LB?
You don't. Keep doing Plan A. After a time, she may "get it" and see it is too much working around him. After your relationship is better & you both know how to use the POJA, then it can be discussed.

I've tried to have her read some of the material on this matter hoping she would take the step on her own, but I don't think it's going to happen.
You "tried" to have her read it? How?

should I let her read Surviving An Affair?
She asked and you have the only copy? How are you going to "let" her read it?

<small>[ February 18, 2003, 04:50 PM: Message edited by: Chris (CA123) ]</small>


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