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EA or PA...That is the question
#2950011 02/19/03 04:41 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 210
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rlyhurtin
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rlyhurtin
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Its too late to worry about it now. But my WW began her A at the end of 1999.

There were many love letters, e-mails, mushy stuff. She maintains to this day it never got physical. OM denies it too.

She has uttered one word of truth in nearly 3 years am I that naive to believe that they never touched each other after reading some pretty powerful and "loving" letters?

It doesn't make any difference anymore. Just something I think about now and then.

An Intense 2.5 year EA with mushy love letters and something that sent my WW in a tizzy?

DOn't grown ups have PA's after an intense EA?

Oh well
Re: EA or PA...That is the question
#2950012 02/19/03 04:53 PM
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Katie Scarlett Offline
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Katie Scarlett
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Depends on the people. I had a 6 year EA before it ever became physical.
Re: EA or PA...That is the question
#2950013 02/19/03 05:00 PM
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rlyhurtin
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Kate-

What do you mean it depends on the people. I mean I guess I get what you said but my WW wasn't exactly one to turn down sex prior to marriage. That shouldn't matter I guess, but in hind sight I saw all the clues of an affair but was ignorant to the clues of a real live PA. Still am.

The only thing I vividly remember is that she took alot of baths. Which I guess is no big deal.
Re: EA or PA...That is the question
#2950014 02/21/03 04:29 PM
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Katie Scarlett Offline
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Katie Scarlett
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Truthfully I have dabbled a bit in EA's in my current relationship. Nothing serious. I don't see me having a PA though.

Sometimes just the attention is enough.
Re: EA or PA...That is the question
#2950015 02/21/03 06:15 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
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angeldust Offline
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angeldust
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hi, in my case my H swore blind it was an EA. I had found a card and i love you poem. i didnt believe him, and did some sneaking on his phone, sending messages to his mate, pretending to be H. This confirmed it was PA. H even tried to get out of it when i had evidence in his face! he thought there was no way id find out, as he did it while he was away. he put me thru three months of lies as he wanted to cover his own ar$#. he convinced himself he would loose everything. two things that i learnt were 1. as i kept questioning him about A, the story would change. eventually it just sounded plain silly. 2. he only showed 'real' remorse when truth (PA) came out. if shes lying, she may drop herself in it eventully.
Re: EA or PA...That is the question
#2950016 02/21/03 06:23 PM
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rlyhurtin
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Angel Dust-

Had the same exact thing happen to me. The more I asked, the more the story changed.

When caught with "deer in the headlight" evidence of it being "serious"---she said "It was only flirting"

"We spend too little time together" "I would F!@#
the shi%^& out of you"

Yep...Pretty "Flirtatous" I'd say
Re: EA or PA...That is the question
#2950017 02/22/03 10:05 AM
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angeldust Offline
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hi rlyhurtin, i am sorry, its awful when we are willing to forgive, and WS witholds info. my H says his PA was only once, but he kept letters from OW. real mushy ones. sometimes i think, so what if it was longer, its past. but then i become obssessed with it again. many WS lie through their teeth and try get away with minimum. my H called it 'damage limitation' DUH! just keep trying, could try snooping, trick questions, and reassuring her its safe to come clean. good luck!

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