My internet connection went down on the 28th and I just got it back running today. Boy did I miss this place!! Well I started the legal separation process and told my WW what I was doing. She really freaked at first but then mellowed out and the whole thing went about as good as I could have ever hoped for. She immediately called her Mom, who she hasn't spoken to in almost two years. I was very happy that she did that because she hasn't been talking to anyone except the OM this whole time and you know what he wants her to do.
Well it just so happens that my MIL loves me so I called her after they talked and got the scoop. Although my WW took what I did as pressure and wasn't very happy about it, it forced her out of the comfort zone she had found between her two lives and made her start thinking again.
Anyway she told her Mom that the OM was spoiled and very bullheaded but that she has made it clear to him that there is not going to be any kind of future between them because she plans on trying to reconcile with me, and she really doesn't have that strong of feelings for him anyway. She also said that she very much wants to move back home but is very afraid that things will return to the way they were. A lot of the same things that WS say when they are at this stage I know but it was good to hear. I am very confident that at some point I am going to get a shot at getting this marriage right and that has really helped my mood and determination. I know that it could be a while, maybe a loonng while before she actually works up the courage to do this so I'm not getting my hopes up in the short term, but at some point this is going to happen. It is a relief and scary at the same time but I'm looking forward to this opportunity really for the first time since this all started.
Thanks to everyone for the posts of encouragement. I can't explain how much they mean to me!

<small>[ March 06, 2003, 07:34 PM: Message edited by: starman ]</small>

Hey starman, it's great to hear you sounding so strong and optimistic. And it's also great that you have such a great relationship with your MIL but remember that your WW is still her child and the old saying 'blood is thicker than water' is so true when it comes to mother and child, and if it's deciding between you and your WW, guess who she'll chose?. Did your MIL tell you what those things your WW said she fears will be still present in the M if she comes back to you?

Hey starman! Glad you got back online. I wondered about your fate. Good job on following through on the seperation, maybe that will wake her up.

Glad your 'back"...
you sound well...
slow and steady...

keep the vision of who you want to be and what you can tolerate in your world...
and bite your tongue A LOT !! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

ARK