I am wondering where you gals are. Are you still lurking?

If so, please check my update (check my recent posts)

You both helped me alot about 3 years ago, and I am wondering where you are at now.

Update since then: another baby <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> for me and H, and another A for H <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hope you both are well, and if you can, give me your updates.

E

bumpin up for ya

Eleanor, Wassi occasionally stops by, I'll email her for you. I haven't seen soulloss post in a long time.

I don't recognize your name, but I'm from that 3 years ago era, though it was before 5/00 recovery and I doubt I was of any help right then!

Hi Eleanor!
I don't get to MB very often anymore but Lor e-mailed me to let me know about your message.
Thanks Lor! It is good to have special contacts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am so glad that you have your special little boy Eleanor. I remember how frightening it was for you when you first discovered the pregnancy.
I'm glad I was able to help in some way.

I am so sorry your H had another affair. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I read your update post. You referred to your earlier recovery as a "false recovery".
I think you would be better to call it an incomplete recovery. All of your work was not for nothing and I believe that every little bit helps in the long run.

One thing that I have learned over the years is that nothing is perfect....especially not recovery.

I was always a perfectionist but this experience has taught me more patience and tolerance. My H was not strong. It sounds like your H is similar.
When the temptation is there some spouses can't resist no matter how much they want to. When an OP is offering the ego boosting that is so easily given without commitment it can be hard to resist.
Yes I am a little biased.

Hang in there girl.
I must go for now but will try to check back in later.
A few people have been asking for an update from me so I should try to do that without rambling. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm so glad you found your way back to the forum. You know that you have become stronger through this no matter what it feels like now.

Eleanor
Are you still around?
I hope you are okay.

Just taking this opportunity to say "hi", wassi! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm only on for a moment... but I saw this and had to reply.

Last month I wrote a little update and who should show up... SOULLOSS! She's okay, but is rarely on the internet...

Oh, and hey to Wassi too!

Double oh (and edit), hey to Eleanor, Jo and Lor!

<small>[ March 13, 2003, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]</small>

Hi wassruborn

Thanks for your reply. Please do give me your update.

I have been thinking about what you said: H is weak weak weak. It's making me crazy bcs I know this is true, so how can I ever trust him, and how can we rebuild? He will not get any help, ever. I have given up all hope of that.

I am so worried that I am wasting my time. I am a wreck.

Today is an awful awful day. OW called him to congratulate him on his new job. He told me about it, which is huge progress in the honesty department. My reaction: hmmmm not the greatest.

I want there to be NC, and mostly there has been, except for today.

Maybe I am out of line, or exagerating, but today's contact has me so so so upset. I cannot bear the thought of that @#$% chirping out a friendly hello, and H being happy to hear her voice. It's painful beyond words.

SO I asked him to tell/ask her to please not contact him again.

He thought I was overeacting, and got mad at me.

Him telling me was, for him, a test of how much I could not LB, and I failed, according to him. Now, get this, I am in the doghouse.

I can't take it anymore, and I can't take just sitting around waiting for her to bust into my life again.

i am sooo sad today.

somebody. help me get a grip

Eleanor
I'm glad you found my post to you.
I'm sorry about the contact but it was a very good thing that your H told you.
Remember we have to try not to LB. We have to practice our replies to them in our heads I think.
I know that it was very important for my situation to convince H I wanted honesty. I really had to bite my tongue if he was honest about contact.

Yes it would be best if there was no contact at all. I don't think that really happens that often. In some situations it is easier to discover the contact. Mine was pretty easy.....bimbo was long distance.

I am not a good one to give advice. My recovery was more a personal recovery than a marital recovery. I learned that I could not control H and had to decide if I could live with it or not.

Know that I am thinking of you. It is okay to be angry but try to control that around your H. Don't give him excuses to keep secrets.

I will check in when I can.

Hi to Resilient and New Beginning!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />